br Page 959 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Um ... Go, Vikings?
What you missed while contemplating other uses for your banana holder ... • NBA: Kobe Bryant's season with the Lakers has started swimmingly [NBCSports] • NFL: Cowboys fans to get another generous helping of Tony Romo on Sunday [USA Today] • NHL: Hey, let's all get a Barry Melrose Mohawk! [The Sport...

Charissa Thompson Continues Down Suicidal Path to Frumpyville
Last week we linked to Michael Rand's interview with Fox Sports Charissa Thompson she mentioned that ever since she dyed her hair from blond to brunette was amazed at how much attention it caused. This week she added some Lisa Loeb glasses and the results are startling. If this is an attempt for Tho...

Jay Cutler Out to Prove his Arm is Bigger Than His Mouth
Tonight, the Denver Broncos and mouthy quarterback Jay Cutler swagger into Foxboro and will attempt to frustrate the completely neutralized New England Patriots on their home field. Even though the Pats do not remotely resemble anything close to the juggernaut they were last year, they're still favo...

Favre-Packers Divorce Is Getting Downright Messy
So do you have a problem that you would like Brett Favre to solve? Girlfriend trouble? Confused about which laundry detergent to buy? Hang by your phone, and Brett will be with you momentarily. But first he has to solve the problems of the NFL, like advising Tony Romo on whether or not he should pla...

Kellen Winslow: Please Stop Asking About My Junk
Good news, Browns fans. Your cantankerously talented tight end Kellen Winslow is no longer suffering from a mysterious ailment that may or may not be related to his testicular area. And...he might even suit up against the Redskins. Winslow addressed the media at practice today and let them know that...

Jay Cutler's Love Affair With His Own Opinions Continues
Is Jay Cutler under the impression that he's under oath every time he's asked a question by the media? Sure, it's entertaining for all of us, but eventually the Broncos quarterback is going to talk himself into trouble. While appearing on Fox's The Best Damn Sports Show Period on Thursday, Cutler wa...

Speed Read: Rays Blast Sox, On Cusp Of WS Bid
The last pitcher to win a postseason game after a 15-day layoff was Red Ruffing of the 1939 New York Yankees. And Ruffing can rest easy (well, that’s not too difficult since he’s dead) because Tim Wakefield’s attempt to match that feat last night didn’t go particularly well. The Rays became the firs...

Hey, Wait A Minute, Didn't Braylon Edwards Go To Michigan?
Here's Cleveland wide receiver Braylon Edwards proudly representing the school logo ... unfortunately though, it's the wrong school. We know that the Wolverines have been struggling lately, but Penn State, a Big Ten rival? That's cold, man. Edwards channeled the JoePa mojo to catch five passes for 1...

Giants Fear Dreaded Bone Lady Trap Game
I'll put some of the inevitable gloom-and-doom reports of the Red Sox/Rays game after it's over should the score hold up — still 5-0 Rays, Sox fans booing — but let's not forget there's also a Monday Night Football game this evening between the NFC East leading New York Giants and the still-waiting-...

Goodbye, Big Brown; You're In A Better Place Now ... Jersey
As we told you earlier, tragedy befell Aqueduct racetrack early this morning when Kentucky Derby and Preakness winner Big Brown injured his right front hoof during a workout. He was immediately retired. And as you may have guessed, it didn't take long for horse fans to burst forth with their emotion...

Peyton Manning Kind Of Awkward In A Public Setting
Let's all get together and laugh at a famous person acting like a real human being! To be fair, it's not really Peyton's fault. The only thing more awkward than watching someone rock out at a concert is watching a guy's face while he masturbates to Internet porn — the spastic motions, the furrowed ...

MLB Closer: Brett Myers Is Your New Bicycle, Dice-K Baffles
• Phillies 8, Dodgers 5 Taking the advice of his marriage counseler, Brett Myers decided to get rid of his aggression on the field by making the Doyers his bitch. Myers pitched well enough to win, but did the real damage with his bat, to the tune of a 3-for-3 night with 3 RBIs. The wife can rest ea...

Sox Fans To Rays Fans: I'll See Your Landing Strip and Raise You A Brazilian
Yesterday, female Rays fans garnered national attention for their fan solidarity through a Rayhawk bikini wax, but Red Sox fans, undaunted by the plucky gesture, are planning a pubic counterstrike. Bugs and Cranks picked up a Boston Craig's List ad which reveals the plan of attack: ...

Two "All-Time Greats": Brett Favre And Coin Collecting
This commercial came on today during the 17-hour morning SportsCenter and ... wow. Just wow. Where to even begin? Is it the stolen Monday Night Football theme? The low rent "highlight" package at the beginning? The awesome URL? The bonus coin? The eight more bonus coins with handsome carrying case? ...

No Way McCain Loses Ohio Now
In politics it's known as the Brady Quinn Bounce, and John McCain has it. Our Cleveland Browns hero made a surprise appearance at a Strongsville, Ohio Republican rally on Wednesday (along with Browns lineman Joe Thomas), where he told enthusiastic McCain-Palin supporters at the Walter F. Ehrnfelt Re...

Thank You Brett Favre, For Teaching Us How To Laugh Once Again
Oh Brett Favre, you and your playful, backwoods prankster antics. In what passes as high-concept comedy in Mississippi and certain portions of Wisconsin, Favre pulled the hilarious gag of leaving a dead animal he had shot in the locker of a Jets teammate. Of course this hasn't been considered origin...

The Midwest Doesn't Like Alcohol or Foreigners
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin Thanks to Jesus, I watched a total of about 35 minutes of soccer this weekend. Okay, it's partially my fault. I was traveling and just assumed Indiana had the modern amenities of the developed world. But the friend I was staying with didn't ...

Sometimes It's Good To Walk
So, it's funny, the day I find out I'm (officially) moving away from Philadelphia, back to New York, a day when I'm dutifully counting off personal items and crappy furniture, examining dying plants, and doing all that stuff you do when life doesn't turn out the way it's supposed to, becomes one of ...

NLDS Game 2: Phillies-Brewers
On the left, it's CC Sabathia. On the right, it's Brett Myers. The Phillies want that delicious 2-0 lead in the NLDS, and the Brewers want to go back to Milwaukee with at least one game dominated by hops and barley. She's jump, she's jump, she's jump, she's in my head. * * *Top 9th 2 ...

Baby Sees First Brewers' Playoff Game, Cries, Spits Up
Award for most hardcore baseball fan, NL Central, goes to Niki O'Connor of Milwaukee. Not only did she walk to Miller Park while nine months pregnant to see the Brewers play the Cubs on the last day of the regular season, but she went into labor during the game, and refused to leave. The fun began w...