br Page 977 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Would You Hire This Man To Sell Your Underwear?
So word is that Calvin Klein is driving hard to the basket, trying to lure Tom Brady as their underwear model/spokesman. For seven figures. Wow. Do I want to live in a world where Tom Brady makes more for underwear modeling than Heidi Klum?...
Derek Anderson Leaves Browns For Free Agency, Signs With Browns
I'm picturing the scene from Meet The Parents where a dejected Ben Stiller stands in an empty terminal and must wait his turn to board the airplane, thanks to the by-the-book airline employee who has yet to call his row. "Please step aside, sir."...
Kobe Won't Stop Looking At DWade
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who freaking slept through the Mavs/Spurs game but then woke up for the Heat/Lakers game and therefore wants you to please, please kill him. When he isn't begging for death, he can be found seeking it out at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • Tim Duncan + Doing Everyth...
The Favre Retirement Snafu Mystery
So, honestly, what in the name of fucking Florio happened today with the Packers.com very brief, yet very public screw-up regarding Brett Favre's retirement? About an hour ago, the Packers PR monkeys fessed up to the whole situation, telling Dennis Dillon at The Sporting News that, "The people who h...
LeBron Is Human After All
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who isn't going to cover the Blazers/Clippers game, because of the pain it caused my eyes to watch. (Although I will tell you that Portland won 82-80.) When he isn't recovering from the ugliness of professional basketball, he can be found making fun of it at...
Brewers Fans Are Focused, Dedicated
This photo is somewhat old, apparently, but it's the first I've seen of it. Brewers fans, so used to disappointment, will take their excitement where they can get it I suppose. Later, at home, Erin Andrews found two tiny burn marks on the seat of those slacks....
Bruce Pearl Is Still No. 1 In Our Search Engines
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming the Floor....
Get Ready For The Glory And Majesty That Is The 'Name Of The Year' tournament
It's like waking up the morning before the NCAA Basketball Tournament and discovering that your favorite team has lost its eligibility (*cough* Hoosiers! *cough*). That was my reaction when I found out this morning that Brian Suksomwong has been booted from the prestigious Name of the Year competiti...
ESPN Now To Issue Pepper Spray To All TV Correspondents
This was mentioned on Sunday, but was kind of buried ... and when Bruce Pearl paws the lovely Erin Andrews on national television, the world needs to know. Too bad that Ms. Andrews didn't read the Tennessee Athletic Handbook; it clearly states that when dealing with Bruce Pearl a microphone can a...
Baseball Season Preview: Milwaukee Brewers
For the third consecutive season, we are proud to introduce the Deadspin Baseball Season Previews. Yes, baseball is awfully close now; it's spring training, after all....
Bryant McKinnie, Back In The News, Thankfully
We will always hold a special place in our hearts for the four most prominent participants in the Vikings' sex boat scandal from a few years ago: Daunte Culpepper, Fred Smoot, Moe Williams and, today's featured star, Bryant McKinnie. Those guys have us so much enjoyment that we remain honored to hav...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Brent Petway Wants To Take Down Dwight Howard
Matt from Hardwood Paroxysm has all of our NBA Development League coverage. Today, he talked to Brent Petway, former Michigan Wolverine and champion of the D-League's dunk contest, about how he wants to challenge Dwight Howard....
Media Approval Ratings: Brent Musberger
We remain stunned by the Scott Van Pelt results yesterday; we like Van Pelt too, but 94.3 percent approval? We are absolutely certain we would not get 94.3 percent approval ourselves. Anyway, let's go for the generational shift today; Good ole Brent Musberger....
Like A Botox-Infused Ether Binge... Now With T.O.!
Matt from Hardwood Paroxysm headed to New Orleans for the All-Star madness last weekend. Well, actually, he was there for the Celebrity Game and the D-League All-Star Games. Over the next two days, we'll be telling his tales. Today: The Celebrity Game....
Media Approval Ratings: James Brown
Bill Simmons has implied that the success of CBS' pregame show over FOX's is because James Brown, Harvard grad (and former Atlanta Hawks draft pick), switched to the Eye in 2006. We would like to remind you all, by the way, that this guy hosted "America's Funniest Home Videos." Also, and we didn't r...
No, You've Got It All Wrong, Fellas. Brady Quinn LOVES The Gays
Brady Quinn would like to make it clear: He does not hate gay people. Responding to accusations that he hurled gay slurs at a group of men in a New Year's Eve altercation in Columbus, Ohio, Quinn said on Wednesday that, nope, it never happened. And furthermore, you know that Brokeback Mountain seque...
Brady Quinn Attacks His Only Fans Left
Remember that famous "Saturday Night Live" sketch, in which William Shatner famous told Trekkies to "get a life, for crying out loud, it's just a TV show?" Even though it was just a sketch, it took him years to make it up to his rabid and most loyal supporters. We suspect Brady Quinn, in a much le...
John Rocker Destroys Everything You Thought You Knew About Steroids
It will come as a shock, a shock, we tell you, to learn that our friend John Rocker was on steroids. Throughout this book tour, we've been impersonating Rocker at every stop, and we need steroids just to get into character....
About Last Night
What you missed while wishing you had a bigger boat ... • NFL: Jeff Garcia and T.O., together again! And how about those commercials! (Nobody watched the Pro Bowl, did they?) • College basketball: The last time Clemson won at North Carolina, movies had no sound. Tar Heels 103, Tigers 93. • Politics:...