br Page 978 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Braylon Edwards Honors Sean Taylor His Own Way
Today the NFL season officially ends with the annual Pro Bowl game in Honolulu. Its a day filled with Gonzo Friday-esque wardrobes, leis, coconuts, and, in this year's, hearfelt Sean Taylor tributes. Redskins reps Chris Cooley, Ethan Albright, and Chris Samuels will all be wearing Taylor's number 21...

Love Means Never Having To Tolerate Your Wife's Saggy Breasts
So, the more Brian McNamee opens his mouth, it becomes less clear who's more of a horrible human being. Is it the opportunisitic "trainer" who ratted out his clients who gave him a career? Or is it Roger Clemens, so deluded by his own legacy that he's absolutely convinced himself that he did nothing...

OK, Last Photoshop, We Promise!
Except for the ones below, that is. There's just so many amusing ones out there, that it's hard to stop. And now, for the final word on Super Bowl XLII, we'll hand the mic over to Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, who as you might imagine is quite enthused with the result. In fact, it may be his fin...

Whining About Patriots' Loss Now A Greater Threat Than Global Warming
So this is somewhat amusing. According to Amani Toomer, before the game on Sunday Patriots' players were inviting him to their victory parties. "They were inviting us to their parties after the game," Toomer said. "They showed us no respect." Meanwhile, Tom Brady has dropped out of the Pro Bowl (exp...

The Patriots Are, At Last, Losers. Like The Rest Of Us.
It is rare in the world of sports to find a moment when two revelatory, unifying moments converge into something that stuns us all, from every direction. Around 10:20 p.m. ET last night, the sports planet's tectonic plates shifted so dramatically that we thought our heads would never stop spinning...


Senator Asks NFL To Recognize Additional Team For Mercury Morris To Taunt
Every current NFL city has at least played in or hosted a Super Bowl, with the exception of ... you guessed it, Cleveland. So I guess there's no reason to discuss them at hahaha I had you going there for a second....

Tom Brady Will Be Well Coiffed On Sunday
The big Super Bowl question concerning Tom Brady isn't "Is he injured?", but rather "Will he have his nails done?" One can bet that the answer is affirmative, as word has leaked that the Patriots' quarterback will have his own hair stylist on hand in Glendale this weekend. They're calling him a barb...

The Clashing Of The Titanic Titans
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and who has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not screaming in soulless rage at the merciless Pagan gods, he can be found making fart jokes at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...


Whoa! I Can't Even Tell Them Apart!
Tyler Pratt — um, pictured left — sent a photo of himself in to some Patriots look-alike contest saying people tell him he looks like Tom Brady. Apparently, Tyler Pratt works in a cave ... with blind people ... who are horrible fuckin' liars....

Fake Tats Are An Excellent Recruiting Tool
In today's smash-mouth world of college football recruiting, desperate times call for desperate measures, and desperate measures call for temporary tattoos. That's just the way it is....

In Which I Introduce The Cleveland Browns To Two ESPN Sportscasters
Conversation going on at ESPN's Mike & Mike In the Morning (we're irreverent, look at all our bobbleheads!) this morning: Which is the greatest NFL dynasty of all time? The Mikes put their heads together and picked the 1970s Steelers, which is wrong. Like many, their memory doesn't extend to before ...

Ethan Albright, Finally Vindicated
Remember Ethan Albright? The Redskins long snapper who had the worst rating in all of Madden 2007 and was immortalized in The Phat Phree's famous mock letter to John Madden? Well, his rating won't be so low next year: He's going to the Pro Bowl....

Ideas For A More Enjoyable Super Bowl Week
Rarely do commenters on other sites even come close to the wit and wisdom of our own Deadspin Army of Darkness (sorry if that sounds like sucking up, but independent studies have proven this to be true). Occasionally, though, one catches my eye with a tape measure home run. Such was the case yesterd...

Larry Brown Is Happy Not To Be In New York Anymore
Larry Brown offers us a fond, cute little footnote in the epic catastrophe that is 2007 SHOTY winner Isiah Thomas' tenure with the New York Knicks. Brown wasn't exactly Mr. Sunshine and Rainbows with that team — and he clearly stopped giving a crap 10 games in — but Isiah has made sure that Brown wi...

Dramatic New Footage Surfaces Of Tom Brady Walking
Tom Brady WILL be at the dance tonight, girls. He WILL be there. I'm paraphrasing Bill Murray in Meatballs, but you get the picture. So, Brady's "high ankle sprain" is not as serious as many believed (hoped?) ... unless they're now making walking casts in pointy-toed dress shoe designs. He showed up...

Another Reason To Yammer About Tom Brady All Week
SCANDALOUS celebrity Web site TMZ was the first to post the pictures of Tom Brady's "boot cast thing" — trademark Deadspin! — and it is everyone in a tizzy. We quite love the idea of John Clayton and Len Pasquarelli digging through TMZ for more Tom Brady injury updates....
