br Page 980 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
LeBron And His Fourth Quarter Heroics
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or swimming beneath fire, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy....
Tom Brady Wants You To Buy Some Water
Glaceau smartwater; magic elixir of the Gods. Too bad it wasn't around in 2000, when Brady posed for this photo for the NFL combine. How times have changed. Now our hero is toting the water in a new series of print ads (the real ads can be found here), for which he was paid a reported $3 million. I...
In Praise Of The Patriots (Kind Of)
So we're about to make a confession here, and we're not happy about it. We were watching that Patriots-Giants game last Saturday night, and after Randy Moss caught that ridiculous touchdown pass from Tom Brady, something terrifying occurred to us: We were rooting for the Patriots....
Our On-Site Report From The Ice Bowl
Jack Kukoda is a native of Buffalo, NY and is a writer for the Onion News Network. He lives in New York City now. And he was at the outdoors Sabres-Penguins game yesterday and files this most amusing report....
Child About To Become Somewhat Less Smelly
When we were a kid, we had a T-shirt that said "I Root For Two Teams: The Cardinals And Whoever Plays The Cubs." We found this shirt incredibly clever when we were 10, and we wore it pretty much every other day. But couldn't hold a candle to 11-year-old David Witthoft of Connecticut....
Mother Nature Snowballs Bettman
Today's NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of The FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer. Enjoy....
Welcome To The System Quarterback Club, Colt
Tiny tidbits and news niblets from the OTHER bowl games yesterday ......
Brady Is Giving Romo Dating Advice Now?
Apologies in advance for this item. You should know that, if you click on it, there will be a Britney Spears photo, the weekend box office receipts for Alvin and the Chipmunks, and the headline: Jamie Lynn's baby-daddy is a 'lying, cheating dog.' Hey, it's New Year's Eve; who's reading this anyway? ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while enjoying a sweet, sweet batch of diamond fudge ... • NFL: Titans at Colts (8:15 p.m., ET). In Sorgi Cleveland trust. [NBC] • College Football: Alabama vs. Colorado in the Independence Bowl (8:00 p.m., ET). Oh, sorry, the PetroSun Independence Bowl. [ESPN] • Movie: The Bourne Supr...
Looking Toward January 1 In Buffalo
For the 12 of you back at work, Melt Your Face Off offers this preview of the NHL's Winter Classic to be held one week from now, and why it kicks the ass of the stupid Capital One Bowl....
Merry Holidays, Everybody!
OK, so we're sorry you were stuck at work all day today: Obviously, we feel your pain. But regardless, it's time to go home now and get Santa drunk....
A Christmas Eve Game You Can Guiltlessly Ignore
We suppose, if they have to play a game on Christmas Eve, we appreciate that it's a game that doesn't really matter. Maybe there's a few fantasy stragglers counting on it, but that seems about it....
Kyle Orton Takes Step Toward REAL Hall Of Fame
There is some sort of perception that, somehow, we're making fun of Bears quarterback Kyle Orton for his induction in our Hall of Fame. Nothing could be further from the truth. We cheer for Orton full-heartedly and with complete sincerity; it's easy to root for a guy who's obviously having that muc...
Today's Episode: Isiah Has An Epiphany
Skeets is off celebrating Christmas Eve the way that all Canadians do; pantsless and migrating with a herd of elk. So your NBA Closer today is being written by United States Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Alphonso Jackson. Do enjoy....
Brigham Da Noise, Brigham Da Funk
We've been fortunate so far that most of the bowl games have given us actual watchable football. Sure, while many of the games are devoid of tradition ("New Mexico! It's ... culture!") but so what? The way the bowl system is set up, fans normally bludgeoned with story after story of Tim Tebow and Le...
Let's Take Off This Mask And See Who You REALLY Are
Congratulations to photographer Chris Detrick, who offers up a strong 11th hour entry into Most Disturbing Sports Photo Of The Year. The guy getting his eyes plucked out is BYU's Jonathan Tavernari. The poker is Jason Walberg. Oddly enough, there was no foul on this play, and Tavernari seems to have...
Your Next Book Club Selection
Not that anyone will remember, considering it's the Friday before Christmas, but our Deadspin Book Club has made its next selection for its reading dissection. (Because dissection is pretty much what they did with the last one....