br Page 981 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sadly, This Still Won't Get You A Date With A Supermodel
If you're like me, you're constantly wondering "what would Kige Ramsey's name be if he were a Brazilian soccer star?" Well, wonder no more: Answer: "Kigildo." Isiah Thomas is also fun to put in there ("Fire Thomisco!"), as is Mike Golic. Golito! It's all thanks to Brazilname, the online name genera...
The Definitive Way To Fix The BCS: Another Ridiculous Tournament!
It only seems logical, and frankly inevitable: The only way to resolve this whole BCS chaos is to have ... "playoffs to determine an NCAA playoff system." Stick with us here....
Joe Buck Verbally Gropes Jessica Simpson. Eww.
The one question that needed to be asked and wasn't: What's the worse fashion mistake: Simpson's pink No. 9, or Laura Quinn's half jersey? Please vote now....
The Growing Legend Of Brian Suksomwong
On Friday we told the inspiring story of former UCLA marching band member Brian Suksomwong, whose name single-handedly chased away the dark clouds of the Mitchell Report to bring us the sweet, warm sunshine of laughter. Then, as Skeets pointed out over the weekend, Bruins Nation took exception to th...
The Day Your Fantasy League Went Nuts
Just about any fantasy team that's had any sort of success this season has had either Tony Romo or Tom Brady as their quarterback. Both have had outstanding seasons that few expected; in our own league, one guy has Brady and Randy Moss. He has been dominating all season. Until yesterday....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize Christmas is just a week away ... • NFL: Redskins at Vikings. Arak has no idea who to cheer for. [NBC] • Hawaii Bowl: East Carolina vs. Boise State. Lei back, enjoy the game. [ESPN] • Movie: Shrek. Popeye Jones is amazing in this. [TNT] (In case you can't tell, I have no...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you listen to Travis Barker "Superman dat drum kit" ... • College Basketball: Memphis vs. Middle Tennessee State. Make Rep. Bart Gordon proud, MTSU. [ESPN2] • World Extreme Cagefighting: Crunkilton vs. McCullough. Please don't feed the animals. [VS.] • Movie: The Notebook. "I love t...
Could This Be, At Long Last, The World's Funniest Name?
Just when this Mitchell Report business had about pummeled us senseless, one brave man marched forward to bring forth laughter once again. And he didn't have to say a word. Sorry, Kosuke Fukudome ... but this guy's name has got you beat. In fact, this just may be the best name ever. Say it with me, ...
Look, Kids! Football!
Hey, so here's something: There's an NFL game tonight! No, really! Don't worry, though: It's a game between two teams you don't care about, on a network you can't watch. So relax....
Bobby Cox And Friends
This picture was taken at a recent charity event in Atlanta for homeless pets. We cannot put a finger on why it mesmerizes us so, but man, it does. We feel like we just watched that home movie in "The Ring." And we're not sure why. But hey: No Chipper in the steroid report!...
Brian Sabean Knows, Sees, Tells Nothing
So you don't have to sift through the whole document, we're gonna call out some key pages....
SHOTY Elite Eight: Kige Ramsey Vs. Brady Quinn
UPDATE: Poll is now fixed. Sorry about that. Only in this deranged universe of ours could these two human beings compete against each other in anything. One thing they do have in common: Neither has ever thrown an NFL pass....
Year In Review: February
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We continue today with February. We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature som...
Greatest 'NBA Closer' In The History Of Western Civilization!
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores, he can be heard on The Basketball Jo— Shut it down, little man. Shut it DOWN! What a pathetic performance by this sad human being. This guy is a disgrace to the game of basketball a...
Mayweather Disposes of Hatton In 10
Floyd Mayweather Jr. is simply better than everybody else on the planet, and now even the Brits have to admit that. In front of a raucous crowd high rollers, A-list celebrities, and Manchester's loudest drunks (that's a compliment!) Mayweather went toe-to-toe with the previously undefeated Ricky Hat...
Bronson Arroyo Brings The Rock
Last night, we saw the Majestic Rock that is The Sword. We left quite rocked. But we ain't seen nothin' yet; Bronson Arroyo is on tour....
Ring In The New Year With Kwame Brown
We can't think of any athlete more worthy of a special VIP table than Kwame Brown; it seems the perfect pre-Rose Bowl palate cleanser. But we hope no one brings a cake....
It's All About The Dead, Dude
This handsome, vigorous young sprite is Bryan Saltus, a 37-year-old golfer on the Pro Asia Tour. This past weekend, he won his first ever tournament, in China. When he announced whom he was dedicating his victory to, he totally did not waste it, not at all....
Fat Guy, Skinny Guy Shipped To Detroit
As was first reported (kinda) by Sports Review Magazine, baseball had its first big trade yesterday. The Marlins sent Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis to the Tigers for six guys, though we think the actual amount of tonnage exchanged was close to equal....