br Page 981 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ethan Albright, Finally Vindicated
Remember Ethan Albright? The Redskins long snapper who had the worst rating in all of Madden 2007 and was immortalized in The Phat Phree's famous mock letter to John Madden? Well, his rating won't be so low next year: He's going to the Pro Bowl....

Ideas For A More Enjoyable Super Bowl Week
Rarely do commenters on other sites even come close to the wit and wisdom of our own Deadspin Army of Darkness (sorry if that sounds like sucking up, but independent studies have proven this to be true). Occasionally, though, one catches my eye with a tape measure home run. Such was the case yesterd...

Larry Brown Is Happy Not To Be In New York Anymore
Larry Brown offers us a fond, cute little footnote in the epic catastrophe that is 2007 SHOTY winner Isiah Thomas' tenure with the New York Knicks. Brown wasn't exactly Mr. Sunshine and Rainbows with that team — and he clearly stopped giving a crap 10 games in — but Isiah has made sure that Brown wi...

Dramatic New Footage Surfaces Of Tom Brady Walking
Tom Brady WILL be at the dance tonight, girls. He WILL be there. I'm paraphrasing Bill Murray in Meatballs, but you get the picture. So, Brady's "high ankle sprain" is not as serious as many believed (hoped?) ... unless they're now making walking casts in pointy-toed dress shoe designs. He showed up...

Another Reason To Yammer About Tom Brady All Week
SCANDALOUS celebrity Web site TMZ was the first to post the pictures of Tom Brady's "boot cast thing" — trademark Deadspin! — and it is everyone in a tizzy. We quite love the idea of John Clayton and Len Pasquarelli digging through TMZ for more Tom Brady injury updates....

Giants Running Back Once Couldn't Even Outrun The Five-Oh
One of the nice aspects of the Super Bowl is that, with the media clusterphooey descending on the game, smaller stories that people might not know about lesser-known players. OK, actually, this is one of those theoretically nice things; it never actually happens this way, which is why, we repeat, yo...

Somewhere There's A Tom Brady Voodoo Doll With A Pin In Its Foot
Your chances of seeing Matt Gutierrez at quarterback in the Super Bowl just improved slightly on Monday, as Tom Brady was spotted hobbling down a New York sidewalk in a foot cast. Now what this means is not clear; all that we know for certain is that Brady's foot speed is pretty much unchanged. My g...

Jim Calhoun Has A Knack For Agate Type
Jonah Keri writes the college basketball closer (more or less) daily. E-mail your questions, comments or Clarence Ceasar-related memories to [email protected]....

Brett Favre Costs The Packers Another Super Bowl. Someone Had To Say It.
Kickers are always complaining that they have too much pressure on them, and that people only notice them when they fail. This is not exactly true; people only notice kickers when they fail and the team loses. Giants kicker Lawrence Tynes missed two potential game-winning field goals yesterday — o...

Favre Mad Libs > Brady Slash Fiction
Have you ever wanted to write a story about Brett Favre, but you just couldn't find the right words to express your raging hard-on for the guy? Well worry no more, because the Gray Lady's younger, sluttier e-counterpoint has written the perfect formula....

About Last Night
What you missed while watching the best of Tracy Morgan on SNL... • Soccer: The USMNT kisses the Swedes goodbye. More on this game to come in the near future. • NBA: Brandon Roy out-performed Dwight Howard but the Magic got the win over the Blazers. Greg Oden probably looked pretty dapper over on t...

Cavs Beat Spurs (Seven Months Too Late)
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or reading many leather-bound books, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....

Well, They've Really Got LeBron Now
The email hit our inbox with the equivalent of a Drudge Siren: LEBRON JAMES SPEEDING ARREST ... DASH CAM VIDEO! SEE VIDEO HERE! So we watched it....

LeBron Puts Pedal To The Metal
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or eating cereal, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....

The Stars Come Out For The Australian Open
For the majority of her yearly tournament appearances, 17-year-old Austrian tennis star Tamira Paszek manages to keep the twins indoors, as they say. (OK, no one says that but me). But when the Australian Open rolls around, things change. She's out there, Jerry! And she's lovin' every minute of it...

Setting The Table For Two More Rather Important Games Of Foot-Ball
We'd actually forgotten about this, but now that both teams are meeting again in the AFC Championship Game, it's worth reminding everybody about: LaDainian Tomlinson totally hates the Patriots....

Snorgtees Girl Likes The Braves, Gets Paid Zilch
We've known the identity of the Snorg T-shirt girl for quite awhile now, of course; Alice Fraasa, 19, attends Auburn, where she majors in communication. Loves the Atlanta Braves, Harry Potter, and is an atheist. But what I didn't know is how much money she rakes in. The Snorgtees ads that feature he...

Roger Clemens Had An Abscess On His Butt
Aren't you glad you knew that? Is your day not more enlightened than before? In a story found by Steroid Nation in the New York Times, trainer Brian McNamee goes into totally unnecessary detail about the aftereffects of injecting Clemens with steroids....
