br Page 982 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brady Quinn's Unfortunate Circumstances
With the news yesterday that the Browns are looking to sign Derek "Horse Balls" Anderson to long-term contract, we look ominously to a future that, sadly ... could be Brady Quinn-less....
Nebraska's New Coach Is Quite Handsome
A reader who went to the BCS Championship Game sends in this photo of former LSU defensive coordinator and new Nebraska coach Bo Pelini, rocking the French Quarter at 3 a.m....
Brett Favre And The Men Who Love Him
I just love it when a journalist develops a man crush on an athlete and loses all perspective. It seems to happen a lot with Brett Favre for some reason; perhaps its his indominable spirit ... or his eyes, which are like limpid pools ... . Anyway, count Frank Cooney, founder and publisher of The Spo...
Peter Gammons Rocking Out The Mitchell Report Blues
We'll get into Roger Clemens more a little bit later — because we know you can just never get enough Roger Clemens and steroids talk, obviously — but we wanted to take a moment to salute Peter Gammons, everyone's favorite Andrew Jackson-impersonating, hard-rockin' baseball reporter....
Supermodels Not Included
We have always been wary of getting a tattoo of anything involving sports fandom, mainly because: a) you never know when your team will betray or your favorite player will end up murdering his houseboy; and b) tattoos really hurt, and we cry easily. But one Patriots fan has no such qualms....
LeBron And His Fourth Quarter Heroics
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or swimming beneath fire, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy....
Tom Brady Wants You To Buy Some Water
Glaceau smartwater; magic elixir of the Gods. Too bad it wasn't around in 2000, when Brady posed for this photo for the NFL combine. How times have changed. Now our hero is toting the water in a new series of print ads (the real ads can be found here), for which he was paid a reported $3 million. I...
In Praise Of The Patriots (Kind Of)
So we're about to make a confession here, and we're not happy about it. We were watching that Patriots-Giants game last Saturday night, and after Randy Moss caught that ridiculous touchdown pass from Tom Brady, something terrifying occurred to us: We were rooting for the Patriots....
Our On-Site Report From The Ice Bowl
Jack Kukoda is a native of Buffalo, NY and is a writer for the Onion News Network. He lives in New York City now. And he was at the outdoors Sabres-Penguins game yesterday and files this most amusing report....
Child About To Become Somewhat Less Smelly
When we were a kid, we had a T-shirt that said "I Root For Two Teams: The Cardinals And Whoever Plays The Cubs." We found this shirt incredibly clever when we were 10, and we wore it pretty much every other day. But couldn't hold a candle to 11-year-old David Witthoft of Connecticut....
Mother Nature Snowballs Bettman
Today's NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of The FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer. Enjoy....
Welcome To The System Quarterback Club, Colt
Tiny tidbits and news niblets from the OTHER bowl games yesterday ......
Brady Is Giving Romo Dating Advice Now?
Apologies in advance for this item. You should know that, if you click on it, there will be a Britney Spears photo, the weekend box office receipts for Alvin and the Chipmunks, and the headline: Jamie Lynn's baby-daddy is a 'lying, cheating dog.' Hey, it's New Year's Eve; who's reading this anyway? ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while enjoying a sweet, sweet batch of diamond fudge ... • NFL: Titans at Colts (8:15 p.m., ET). In Sorgi Cleveland trust. [NBC] • College Football: Alabama vs. Colorado in the Independence Bowl (8:00 p.m., ET). Oh, sorry, the PetroSun Independence Bowl. [ESPN] • Movie: The Bourne Supr...
Looking Toward January 1 In Buffalo
For the 12 of you back at work, Melt Your Face Off offers this preview of the NHL's Winter Classic to be held one week from now, and why it kicks the ass of the stupid Capital One Bowl....
Merry Holidays, Everybody!
OK, so we're sorry you were stuck at work all day today: Obviously, we feel your pain. But regardless, it's time to go home now and get Santa drunk....
A Christmas Eve Game You Can Guiltlessly Ignore
We suppose, if they have to play a game on Christmas Eve, we appreciate that it's a game that doesn't really matter. Maybe there's a few fantasy stragglers counting on it, but that seems about it....