br Page 984 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Yes, That's Right, It's An NHL Closer
• Caliendo Can't Impersonate Him. Learn well, kids. When you have a choice between shooting at the goal and not shooting at the goal ... shoot at the goal. This was where I failed miserably in youth sports. But John Madden knew better, and decided against clearing the puck on a power play. His lack-...

Cleveland Does Not Rock
• Curse Of The Yankees Lid. LeBron James supposed it was good, harmless fun to sport a Yankees' cap during the American League playoffs, but now that bad karma is coming back to bite him on the ass. If, you know, karma has teeth. James suffered through the only non-scoring first half of his NBA care...

Please Give A Warm Forum Welcome To Day One Of The NBA Season
Welcome the return of your daily recap of NBA "action."...

The Patriots Are Just Tempting Fate
As the above video shows, with all the hatred directed at the Patriots right now — the batshit nuts Easterbrook type, and other more planetary notions — we're legitimately surprised no one has gone after Tom Brady's knees yet. (KSK might have been the first with this idea.) We would never advocate s...

Seriously, They Still Use The Term "Gunslinger"
Leave it to Monday Night Football to take a vintage Brett Favre moment, his overtime game-winning touchdown over the Broncos last night, and turn it into yet another exercise in overpromotion....

At Last, A Competitive October Game In Denver
Well, if the World Series sweep had one benefit, at least there's not going to be a massive traffic jam in Denver tonight. There's that....

Your Breeders Cup Preview
We only have space in our heart for one horse, so we can't get too much into the Breeder's Cup this weekend....

A Look At LeBron James
We're dangerously close to the start of the NBA season, with all its drama and months of madness. To us, part of the beauty of the NBA is that its focus, while ultimately on the team, falls on the individual. The plight of one player becomes an epic tale in the shadow of Jordan; who is the real alph...

Brady Quinn's Stone Cold Lead Pipe Locks
We haven't checked in on Brady Quinn in a while: How's our favorite flashdancer doing?...

Tony Romo Knows That To Impress Girls, You've Got To Have Skills
Why, why, Tony Romo? You and Carrie Underwood were so perfect for each other! And now this conniving temptress Sophia Bush comes between you? Is there nothing to believe in anymore?...


Which City Has The Ugliest People?
It's a question which has tortured us since we first read it about an hour ago: Which city has the ugliest people? Actually, this survey conducted by CNN News and Travel & Leisure Magazine is not confined to sports fans; it lists the cities with the ugliest residents overall. There were several cate...

Steinbrenner and Isiah Share A Secret Gay Lover (Allegedly)
I was about to go on this long rant about how ESPN keeps discussing the New York Yankees throughout the ALCS, but as soon as I saw the latest Jonathan Lee Riches lawsuit on The Smoking Gun, I quickly retracted my sentiments. Riches, who you may remember from such frivolous lawsuits as "Bill Belichic...


Two Pair Not A Winning Hand In Kansas
Oh yes we've got trouble! Right here in Salina Kansas! With a capital T and that rhymes with B and that stands for boobs! Here are Salina Central High seniors Jessica Sheahon and Haley Wenthe, modeling salacious T-shirt designs which have been banned from their high school campus. The entire notion ...

Brandon Lloyd Thinks Troy Aikman Listens To Coldplay
You might have heard about this by now, but just in case: It appears former Illini and current Washington Redskin Brandon Lloyd is taking his radio tips from Skip Bayless. That is to say: He's accusing Troy Aikman of being gay on the public airwaves....