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Most Cubs fans know that since 1995, the Lakeview Baseball Club has maintained a Cubs Futility Odometer on its building on Sheffield Avenue, across the street from Wrigley. The sign marks the number of years since the Cubs have won a division title, NL pennant and World Series; the latter number, of...
Game Seven, for the Pennant
They say that there's nothing better than a Game Seven in sports. I'm not exactly sure who "they" are, but whoever they may be, they're some wise bastards. Even the most jaded sports fan can't help but get excited about the ultimate elimination game. Behind the left-handed arm of one Jon Lester, th...
TBS Baseball Coverage: EPIC FAIL
As millions of baseball enthusiasts tuned in last night hoping to see Game Six of the American League Championship Series, a surprise awaited them: They weren't greeted by Josh Beckett's steely gaze, instead they were met by Steve Harvey's toothy smile. Virtually anyone watching in the U.S. had to ...
I Don't Believe What I Just Saw...
1988 was a year I didn't watch as much sports as I used to because I discovered Headbanger's Ball and had hair that looked like this, but I did watch the one-legged walk-off game by Kirk Gibson. (Most likely while ironing a Megadeth back patch to my jean jacket. Who got all the chicks?) As you may k...
TBS Executive Completely Drunk on Own Caliendo Juice
It's pretty easy to complain about those damn "Frank TV" ads that pop up seemingly every commercial break during TBS' postseason baseball coverage and pretty much everyone has. Even Frank Caliendo. (On a side note: I find the DirecTV ads featuring Craig T. Nelson and Heather O'Rourke even more troub...
Morning Blogdome: All That Glitters Is Not Gold
Rays fans get their first taste of postseason disappointment: Better get used to it, young one. [Big League Stew] That'll super-secure the cowboy vote: Richard Petty, Richard Childress and Cowboy Troy will become the most famous celebrities in the world to back the McCain/Palin ticket today at Lowe'...
The Summer That Didn't Quite Last Forever
Walter E. Smithe is a Chicago furniture store whose management figured that they'd cash in big when the Cubs finally broke 100 years of frustration with a World Series championship. So sure were they that this was the year, actually, that they produced a commercial, complete with former Cubs greats ...
Mocking The Cubs: America's Fun New Sport
Some may say that the rest of America is piling on the Chicago Cubs and their fans; making too much sport of their misery. But is not our gentle mocking really a welcome distraction from all of the really serious problems in the world? I say that the Cubs are actually keeping this country sane. Witn...
Revenge Is A Dish Best Served On The Front Lawn
This is how they settle disputes between rival baseball fans on the mean streets of Chicago, yo. A White Sox fan, who had been mocked all season by a Cubs fan, got ultimate revenge when the Cubs were rudely ousted from the playoffs by the Dodgers. The best part I believe is the fact that this prank ...
Uh Oh. This Can't Be Good
Unless a T-shirt surfaces linking John McCain with the Milwaukee Brewers, Barack Obama should consider his campaign in deep do-do. This is not meant to be ironic, by the way: Home Run Derby found this shirt back in August, when Cubs' and Obama fans alike shared the audacity of hope. Now there seems ...
'Shrine To Futility' Growing Outside Of Wrigley Field
As we chronicled this morning, Cubs fans passed through the anger phase of their playoff mourning ritual, and are now seemingly on to acceptance. A solemn 'Shrine of Futility' outside of Wrigley Field has been growing by the hour, as Cubs fans leave notes and artifacts lamenting their team's failure...
In Which Cubs Fans Look To The Heavens And Ask, WTF?
If God is a Cubs fan, as some people say, He has a really sick sense of humor. So many reasons to be optimistic this season; only to fail once again. Mere words cannot describe the 100 years of frustration suffered by the North Siders, although some of the following blog entries come close. Come wit...
Some People Still Don't Believe That "Fukudome" is Not A Dirty Word
Last week it was revealed that one Oklahoma woman was asked to remove her Kosuke Fukudome jersey during work hours because the F-U-K-U letters may be offensive to some. The Fuk-u problem is still rampant — even in Chicago, apparently — as a 15-year-old sophomore at Elgin High School named Jill Howe...
Cubs Fans Accept Latest Loss With Usual Grace And Aplomb
Well, blessing the dugout didn't seem to help, so the Cubs turned to a sleep doctor for Game 2. This is true. The doctor suggested that the Cubs spend the night in Chicago on Thursday instead of taking a late flight to Los Angeles for Game 3, so that the team could get its proper rest. Problem was, ...
NLDS Game 2: Dodgers-Cubs
If you're looking for a game that will be interesting for more than two innings, perhaps you've come to the right place. Carlos "Capital Zed" Zambrano and Chad "Nickname Withheld" Billingsley will pitch. Guys like Ryan Theriot and Casey Blake will be hitting and fielding. Nasally-sounding Hall of Fa...
Cubs Renounce Satan, Still Lose Game One
The Cubs have yet to get a handle on this curse business, no matter how hard they try. While a priest was furiously blessing their dugout (this is true) before their Game 1 NLDS showdown with the Dodgers on Wednesday, outside of Wrigley Field another drama was unfolding. A man by the name of Jim Sch...
NLDS Preview: Cubs Vs. Dodgers
From the very first day of Spring Training, the general consensus has been that This Is The Cubs' Year. (This has caused me considerable frightened quivering, pretty much from the get-go.) It's not just the 100 years thing either. It's difficult to argue that the Cubs haven't been the best team in ...
Strange Brew: Ryan Braun, Of All People, Keeps Milwaukee In The Chase
• Brewers 5, Pirates 1 (10 innings). Brew Crew Ball called it: This morning is the appropriate time for the untucking of shirts. Come on, untuck 'em! Wait ... is that, Brewers underwear? Oh Jesus. Well, tuck it back in, I guess. Ryan Braun was hitting .198 in September, with one home run and five RB...
Fukudome You, Oklahoma
Disturbing news from Oklahoma this morning, where once again our fundamental constitutional right to wear Kosuke Fukudome attire is being threatened by "the man." Rumors and Rants has the story, as apparently one of their readers was sent home from work on Casual Friday for wearing a Fukudome T-shir...
City Attempts To Curb Excessive Drunkenness Of Joyful Cubs Fans
That means you too, Cuban. Bracing for the inevitable rush on booze-ingestion during the Cubs' playoff run, the Windy City is bars to voluntarily cease all alcohol sales after the 7th-inning in Wrigleyville area bars during a "clinch game" to prevent any "ugly alcohol-related incidents" from ruining...