bu Page 303 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Serge Ibaka And Robin Lopez Throw Actual Punches At Each Other [Update]

A chest-to-chest staring match in the NBA actually popped off into a real actual fight tonight. The Raptors and Bulls don’t like each other, and in the third quarter with the Bulls up big, Serge Ibaka and Robin Lopez got into it after Jimmy Butler nailed a jumper. Unlike most other incidents where p...

Sidney Crosby Hits Guy In The Dick, Scores Incredible One-Handed Goal

In the opening minutes of the Pittsburgh Penguins game against the Buffalo Sabres, Sidney Crosby whacked Ryan O’Reilly right in the dick and balls with a casual nonchalance that would make Draymond proud. Seeing how O’Reilly crumpled to the ice, though, this didn’t look like much of a love tap:...

Internecine Broadcast Conflict Breaks Out During Pirates Spring Training Game

During today’s spring training game between the Pirates and Rays, the Pirates broadcast team decided to try a fun experiment. The TV and radio color commentators (Steve Blass, Bob Walk, and John Wehner) would handle the TV broadcast, while the guys who usually do play-by-play on the radio (Joe Block...

Bullfighter Gets Gored In The Rectum

Mexican torero Antonio Romero suffered a foot-long laceration of his rectum and anus after being gored by a 1,160-pound bull named Caporal Sunday in Mexico City. A doctor who treated Romero told the press:...

Phil Kessel Flips Puck Over The Back Of The Net To Assist Extremely Cool Goal

There are five hockey games that have yet to begin today, but I feel confident in calling this the NHL highlight of the weekend. Behold Phil Kessel flipping the puck over the back of the net for teammate Patric Hornqvist to tap in:...

Refs Botch Obvious Basket Interference Call, Penalize Northwestern Instead

Officials allowed Gonzaga to get away with a clear basket interference amidst a late, improbable Northwestern comeback—and when Chris Collins registered his dismay with the blown call, assessed the Wildcats head coach with a technical foul....

Luke Walton: "Don't Touch My Damn Players"

Luke Walton was not happy that a Milwaukee team official appeared to shove Brandon Ingram during last night’s tiff between the Lakers and Bucks. After Nick Young and Greg Monroe got involved in a skirmish that earned both players technicals, a larger scrum broke out and a Bucks employee in a gray su...

They're "Fighting" In L.A.

A typical fake-ass NBA scuffle broke out in the third quarter of the Bucks-Lakers game as Nick Young and Greg Monroe earned ejections for their roles in justice-dispensation....

USA Gymnastics CEO Steve Penny Resigns Amid Sexual-Abuse Scandal

USA Gymnastics CEO and president Steve Penny resigned today, following weeks of people demanding he leave as the details of how USA Gymnastics protected coaches and trainers accused of sexual abuse continue coming out. A trove of documents unsealed by a Georgia court last week revealed even more de...

Panels Are Shit

South by Southwest is going on in Austin this week and if you’ve ever been to that thing, you know that it started out as a music festival before BIG LANYARD got its paws on it and turned it into an event where brands jizz all over themselves and do NOT keep Austin weird. Since the festival’s incep...

Jim Harbaugh Is Ready For That Butt Work

Colon cancer is a serious issue, and the American Cancer Society recommends everyone over the age of 50 should be getting a colonoscopy every 10 years. If that applies to you but you are feeling squicky about a doctor putting stuff in your butt, please draw inspiration from Jim Harbaugh:...

Brent Musburger Finally Free To Be Horny<em></em>

Former ESPN broadcaster and over-under aficionado Brent Musburger now has his own radio show for the Vegas Stats & Information Network called “My Guys In The Desert.” The Washington Post’s Adam Kilgore visited him in Las Vegas for a profile, which revealed the depths of his love for gambling, and ho...

Big Fucking Shock

Yes, Really, Another Baylor Football Official Has Been Fired

Another member of the new Baylor football staff—the one that was supposed to help college football fans forget the university’s ongoing sexual-assault scandal—has been fired. KWTX reported late tonight that Baylor has fired new associate director of football operations DeMarcko Butler, with an athle...

Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Root For The Following NBA Teams

Many NBA teams are good, or are crummy but feature some fun young Turks who can provide some reason for optimism, or are not good and do not have fun young Turks but are taking it to the limit one more time with ol’ Dirk Nowitzki, and therefore are good to root for. In almost every NBA city, there’...

Kyle Busch Bloodied In Post-Race Brawl With Joey Logano [UPDATE]

Kyle Busch rumbled with Joey Logano after the two got into a tangle on the track at the end of today’s NASCAR race in Las Vegas....

Congratulations To The Bulls For This Truly Awful First Quarter 

The Bulls managed to encapsulate their messy season rather beautifully in just 12 minutes of play today. Some illustrative figures on their first quarter against the Celtics, during which they scored just nine points:...

Pirates Place Jung Ho Kang On Restricted List As He Awaits Visa After DUI Case

The Pirates have placed third baseman Jung Ho Kang on the restricted list a week after he received a suspended prison sentence for his third DUI in seven years in South Korea....

George Mason Forces OT With Jalen Jenkins Buzzer-Beater

Jalen Jenkins landed a layup as time expired in regulation to force overtime in George Mason’s A-10 tournament matchup against Fordham. Mason actually had an attempt to tie it up with seven seconds remaining as Marquise Moore was fouled, but Moore missed both free throws—setting the stage for Jenkin...

The Penguins-Jets Grudge Match Was The Perfect NHL Cycle Of Stupidity

The Penguins and Jets came into Wednesday night’s game with beef. When these teams last met, on Feb. 16, the Jets were incensed by an Evgeni Malkin hit to the head of Blake Wheeler. Watch it here and decide for yourself, but the NHL decided it did not warrant any further discipline beyond Malkin’s t...