bu Page 391 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kliff Kingsbury Morphing Into Charlie Weis Is Quite Disturbing
The Big 12 has a commercial with some of the conference's coaches morphing into each other, and that's how we get Kliff Kingsbury turning into Charlie Weis. This transformation can actually happen if Kingsbury screws up every major decision in his future. Don't do that, Kliff. You're too handsome to...
Auburn's Ball Boy Is Hella Fast
It might not be the best sign for Arkansas's football season when the opponent's ball boy has a better chance of catching Auburn's Melvin Ray on his 49-yard touchdown jaunt than any Razorback defender. But look at the wheels on that kid!...
What's Wrong With Baseball?
Over at the New Yorker, Ben McGrath has a brief, characteristically thoughtful essay up about a question that people have been asking basically for as long as the game has been played but which, lately, seems to actually have something to it: What's wrong with baseball?...
Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Buffalo Bills
Some people are fans of the Buffalo Bills. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Buffalo Bills. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
MLB Network Host Predicts Buster Posey Walk-Off Home Run, Flips Out
This shit is straight up paranormal. Greg Amsinger, hosting a live look-in to Wednesday's Giants-Rockies game for MLB Network, eerily predicted Buster Posey's walk-off home run. It started with an innocuous feeling in his "bad knee." But the real wizardry begins right before Amsinger hands off the...
The Making And Unmaking Of Preston Zimmerman, American Soccer Player
A version of this story originally appeared in the fall 2012 edition of XI Quarterly. ...
Warren Buffett Is Friends With A Serial Woman Beater
Like a lot of very well off athletes, Floyd Mayweather recently met with Warren Buffett to discuss his financials. There's an Instagram photo of them chumming it up and everything. Unlike most well off athletes, however, Floyd Mayweather is a serial and unrepentant abuser of women, palling around ...
Burger King, And <em>Only</em> Burger King, Wants To Be Canadian
Burger King Worldwide Inc., a chain of over 13,000 sad, ignored, tumbleweed-strewn burger graveyards in 79 countries around the world, has agreed to fork over around $11 billion to purchase Canadian donuts-and-breakfast chain Tim Hortons Inc., giving the new combined company ownership of exactly...
Dance Team's Pop Gun Hazing Incident Goes Horribly Wrong
A very successful dance coach with the Cannon Falls, Minnesota school district lost her job on August 25 due to a team-building/hazing activity she organized....
Madison Bumgarner And His Fastball Are Unstoppable
Last night, Madison Bumgarner was about as perfect as one can be without actually pitching a perfect game. In nine innings against the suck-ass Rockies, Bumgarner allowed one hit and struck out 13 batters while throwing just 103 pitches. And he did it by adhering to a very simple formula: Throw a ...
15-Year-Old Catherine Bellis Upsets 12-Seed At U.S. Open
Catherine Bellis turned 15 years old in April and sits at 1,208 on the WTA's rankings. At the start of the day, her career record as a pro in singles matches was 8-4. That record has improved to 9-4, as Bellis just finished off 12-seeded Dominka Cibulkova in a first-round match at the U.S. Open. ...
Patriots Trade Logan Mankins To Bucs For Pick, Ex-Rutgers Player
The Patriots have agreed to a trade. It does not involve Ryan Mallett....
The Bucknell Football Team Takes The Best Profile Pictures
The Bucknell Bison roster page is a treasure trove of goofy profile pictures. In what has to be a concerted effort to have the weirdest looking team, players posed with wacky faces, bizarre facial and top-of-the-head hair, and People's Eyebrows. It's great fun....
Little Girl Gives No Shits, Runs In Front Of Stephen Strasburg's Warmup
Stephen Strasburg's warmup session came to an abrupt halt yesterday when a girl involved in the Nats' pregame ceremonies chose to run right between the pitcher's mound and home plate. Wheee!...
<em>FIFA Weekly's</em> Sepp Blatter Profile Is A Marvel Of Propaganda
This week's edition of FIFA Weekly, a magazine that exists, for some reason, contains a short profile of FIFA president Sepp Blatter. It is one of the most rank and shameless pieces of propaganda ever committed to print. ...
Bayer Leverkusen Scores On Borussia Dortmund Nine Seconds Into Match
Karim Bellarabi set a new Bundesliga record when he scored the opening goal of Borussia Dortmund-Bayer Leverkusen just nine seconds into those teams' league season....
Must Be In The Front Row...
…and "Down in font," and "He missed the tag." The lines from this ad were high comedy to this teenager and his friends when it came out. ...
Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Pittsburgh Steelers
Some people are fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Here's Video Of Mike Evans Fighting With Nightclub Bouncers
There's also a butt....
Actually, You Can't Throw A Pie At Tree-Poisoner Harvey Updyke's Face
Earlier this week, we told you that Harvey Updyke, who poisoned the famous Toomer's Corner oak trees at Auburn, was scheduled to appear at a charity event in Alabama, where paying customers could soak him in a dunk tank or throw a pie at his face....