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What they're saying out in the ether about LSU's 38-24 win over Ohio State in the BCS Championship Game ......
If Someone Had To Be Called "Champ," Might As Well Be LSU
We hope LSU fans do not take it as an insult that hardly anyone considers their title legitimate; every season has to crown one champion, however the champion is crowned, and LSU is fortunate enough to be that team. More power to them; they deserve it, we supposed. But let's skip the charade....
Finally Time To Put The College Football Season To Rest
OK, we are finally here. The college football season, at last, ends tonight in New Orleans. You know it's an important game in a SERIOUS locale, because they've put the cheerleaders to work. It's Ohio State vs. LSU, for something weird thing we're calling a "national championship." Or something. En...
LSU Will Also Beat Your Ass At Tetris
The day will surely come, my friend, when football will exist only in The Matrix. Why should humans risk serious injury and National Anthems by the Oak Ridge Boys when we can play the whole damn game on an Xbox? We're a step closer to that already, as LSU has revealed that its quarterbacks — Matt Fl...
Not Every Black Man In America Is Martin Lawrence
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....
Chargers vs. Titans, Second Half and Goodnight
It's been a while since I last checked in, but it's still the same football game. We're well into the third quarter of the final game of Wild Card Weekend '08 Bukkake and this game is dragging along with a score of 6-3. Tennessee is winning, Floats (pictured) i really crappy, and LaDainian is still...
Bucs vs. Giants, The Second Half!
It was either this, or a picture of four Tampa cheerleaders. I like to think I made the right decision (thanks to Getty Images for the choice though). Since we last saw each other at halftime things have taken an interesting turn. The Bucs botched the opening kickoff giving the Giants an incredible...
Bucs vs. Giants! Yar, They Blow!
It's that time again, and I'm positively pumped for this one! New York and Tampa are taking the field and the air is alive with excitement! Who am I kidding? I'm watching Pitt play Nova while taping the Wizards and the Sonics. Don't worry though, I've brought in a reinforcement television and I'll ...
Pittsburgh vs. Jacksonville
Well that last game pretty much ripped my heart right out, but I don't think this one is capable of such damage. Regardless, there's money on the table and I'm already down, so my interest stoked. The Jaguars crossed Clemente Bridge for the second time in three weeks with enough confidence to take t...
Who's The Next Sex Tape Diva To Be Linked To A Professional Athlete?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker has just two columns left. This is one of them. Email him to let him know what you think....
NFL Wild Card Pants Party: Buccaneers Vs. Giants
We are incredibly pleased to live in a world in which this guy is facing off against this guy in an NFL playoff game....
NFL Wild Card Pants Party: Steelers Vs. Jaguars
Everybody loves the Jaguars all of a sudden. We dunno: If Big Ben stays off the bike, look out....
Our On-Site Report From The Ice Bowl
Jack Kukoda is a native of Buffalo, NY and is a writer for the Onion News Network. He lives in New York City now. And he was at the outdoors Sabres-Penguins game yesterday and files this most amusing report....
Isiah Passes Grueling Two-Week Evaluation Of Self
Isiah Thomas gave himself two weeks to get his act together, or he would fire himself as coach of the New York Knicks. The two weeks were up on Tuesday, so what's the verdict? Although the Knicks finished 1-4 during that span — including four straight losses — Isiah happily announced on Tuesday that...
Mother Nature Snowballs Bettman
Today's NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of The FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer. Enjoy....
Welcome To The System Quarterback Club, Colt
Tiny tidbits and news niblets from the OTHER bowl games yesterday ......
Joe Buck Tries Out That Comedy Muscle
This has been up for a while, but we just noticed it: If you were wondering what that "Joe Buck Talk Show" thing was gonna be like, here's a "comedy" "video" Buck made for Bud.TV. He interviews the quite amusing Paul Rudd....
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN combed its message boards this morning to find its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Looking Toward January 1 In Buffalo
For the 12 of you back at work, Melt Your Face Off offers this preview of the NHL's Winter Classic to be held one week from now, and why it kicks the ass of the stupid Capital One Bowl....
Top Ten Commenting Memes of 2007 That Should Die In 2008
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....