burn Page 37 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wes Welker Is Engaged To A Former Miss Hooters International Girl
"He makes her breakfast in bed. She made him flannel pajamas with cowboy boots on them for Christmas." They're, like, delightfully tacky, yet refined. [Boston Herald]...

"Am I Sick? Are We All Sick?": Overwrought Things The Media Wrote To Auburn's PR Guy During Cam Newton's Wild 2010 Season
A few months ago, we asked Auburn for all correspondence between the media and the football team's spokesman, Kirk Sampson, during the Tigers' 2010 season. We weren't looking for anything specific; we only wanted to get a sense of what it's like on the inside when the press descends on one story—in ...

Should You Be Scared Of The Yankees In 2012?
Yes! Yes, you should be scared of the Yankees in 2012. Terrified, probably. Because a pair of big moves made their biggest problem—35-year-old A.J. Burnett, who is owed $33 million over the next two years—essentially disappear. No more hanging knucklecurves in big games, no more walks, no more hits,...

NCAA's "Cecil Newton Rule" Closes A Loophole That Should Have Been Closed 50 Years Ago
Did you know there was a big Cam Newton scandal? It's true! People were getting all mad about it and everything! I know we've all got short memories, and Newton's better known for being Tim Tebow, but black and good, but it was just 14 short months ago that the NCAA was rocked by reports that Newton...

Uncivil: How Paul Finebaum Keeps The SEC's Dixie Aroused
The Southeastern Conference (SEC) is the brawniest thing in college football right now, and a scrawny man, Paul Finebaum, sits atop it....

Let's Celebrate The New Year With Auburn's Statue Of Liberty Play
There's never a bad time for a trick play, and Auburn tied up the Chick-Fil-A Bowl in Atlanta with a picture-perfect Statue of Liberty. Happy New Year in the United States of Football. [ESPN]...

Jeromy Burnitz Used To Fill Clubhouse Shampoo Bottles With His Own Urine
Peter Abraham of the Boston Globe, who posted his Hall of Fame votes and column earlier today, slipped in an interesting aside about the clubhouse shenanigans of former MLB outfielder and HOF candidate Jeromy Burnitz:...

Here's The Bizarre Kristi Malzahn Interview Somebody's Trying To Sweep Off The Internet
We became aware of this a while ago, but seeing as how all public copies seem to have been swept off the web here's the wife of new Arkansas State head football coach Gus Malzahn acting very strangely at a church in Springdale, Ark. It is, alas, an edited version (sports agent John Phillips is tak...

Onterio McCalebb's Kickoff Return Touchdown Left This Auburn Bro Feeling Awfully Smug
Auburn's Onterio McCalebb opened the second half of the Iron Bowl by taking Alabama's kickoff to the house, but it only brought the Tigers within ten of their rivals—which makes you wonder what this bro is feeling so smug about. [CBS]...

Your Weekly Best Of Gameday Gallery
It was a squeaky-clean College Gameday broadcast for ESPN this week, though Lee Corso did make the above reference to last week's "fuck it" blunder. Here's the best signs and otherwise from today's broadcast at Auburn. ...

Your Late Afternoon College Games Open Thread
Now that that is over, how about we talk about some regular football games?...

Your College Football Afternoon Games Open Thread
The big game is No. 20 Auburn visiting No. 1 LSU. That one's on CBS. That one's gonna be good....

The Cam Newton/Auburn Saga Farts To A 105-Word End
The NCAA has completed its investigation:...

Do Not Fret, Yankees Fans: A.J. Burnett May Have Been A Victim Of Bad Home Run Luck This Year
Sam Miller of the Orange County Register tweeted this last night, and it's kind of amazing. (Ignore his mention of Jered Weaver.) Tonight's scaring-everyone-shitless Yankees starter A.J. Burnett's xFIP (expected Fielding-Independent Pitching) was 3.86 this year. xFIP is on a scale roughly equivalent...

A Handy Map Of Where To Burn Your Couches When WVU Beats/Loses To LSU
Before the season began, WVU and Morgantown officials decided to crack down on the Mountaineer tradition of burning couches after big wins (and big losses). They aren't kidding around, making the celebratory pyre a felony arson charge. The new rules face their greatest test Saturday night, as No. 2 ...

Presenting Footage Of Auburn's Eagle Mascot Crashing Into A Luxury Box Window
There are no concrete answers as to why Auburn University alum "Spirit" flew into a window at this past weekend's game against Mississippi State. As such, Harvey Updyke Jr. could have slipped it a roofie, but that would be treasonous, would it not?...

Here's Video Of The Goal-Line Stand That Kept Auburn's Winning Streak Alive
The Auburn Tigers held on for a 41-34 win over visiting Mississippi State, in part because of this goal-line stand on QB Chris Relf's rush that could have tied the game (extra point willing) as time expired. The Bulldogs had no timeouts remaining. There was sadness in Starkville....

This Evening: A.J. Burnett Doesn't Even Want To Get Anyone Out Anymore
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 7, the day we learned what an asshole Han Solo really was. Video via SportsGrid. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Here's The Memorable Part Of Auburn's Otherwise Forgettable Fourth Quarter Against Utah State Today
The first game in Auburn's Post-Cam Newton Era (also known as the Barrett Trotter Era, according to the game announcers) did not go as expected—unless you expected Auburn to require a last-minute comeback to avoid a 10-point loss to unranked Utah State. Here's the onside kick and the ensuing drive...

Your College Football Early Games Open Thread
It's the first big college-football Saturday of the season. Yay. No. 18 Ohio State, which lost its The in a haze of Tresselmanic scandal, plays Akron at noon (ESPN). Also at noon on the WWL, No. 23 Auburn hosts Utah State (2) and Northwestern visits Boston College (U)....