burn Page 40 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

So, Yeah, Auburn's Losing By A Lot
It's 24-7 Alabama at halftime of the Iron Bowl. We're 30 minutes away from the BCS shitstorm to end all BCS shitstorms. At least the NCAA could take their time with the Cam Newton investigation....

Soccer Mistress Is <em>Not</em> Gonna Be Ignored
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

For Sale: The Laptop Cam Newton Stole
According to an emailer named "A Person With Connections" the laptop that Auburn's quarterback whipping boy Cam Newton stole from that poor kid in Florida has been recovered and is now for sale on the Scuzz Money Market. Here's his pitch....

Auburn Pep Rally Turns Into Sappy Sing-A-Long
Things have been a little contentious at Auburn the last few days, so at a pep rally last night, the community decided the best show to show solidarity and focus on their championship aspirations, and not the current unpleasantness, was a sing-a-long....

The Cam Newton Scandal Spirals Into Incoherency
So much ink has been spilled in the last 24 hours over Cam Newton, yet so little has actually happened, that we felt obligated to break it all down. Here's hoping this doesn't become a daily feature....

Last Night's Winner: The University Of Florida's Academic Integrity
It's open season on Cam Newton. Since his selection of Auburn has already been indicted as everything wrong with amateur sports, is there anything from Florida we can drag up? As it turns out, yes! A big old term paper cheating scandal....

Auburn Fans React To Cam Newton Scandal By Shrieking At ESPN Reporter
ESPN's Mark Schlabach was one of three reporters on a story alleging that a self-proclaimed representative of Cam Newton demanded a six-figure payment for Newton's signature on a letter of intent. Saturday, Schlabach was outside Auburn's Jordan-Hare Stadium. How'd fans treat him?...

Report: Cam Newton Sought Cash For Commitment
This could be a big one. ESPN is reporting that someone claiming to represent Cam Newton as he made the jump from JuCo to FBS asked for money in the range of $200,000 to guarantee Newton's commitment. [ESPN]...

The Brian-Wilson-o'-Lantern Never Caught On, As It Invariably Made Kids Wet Themselves
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your "A.J. Burnett Is Actually Starting A Playoff Game" Rangers-Yankees Open Thread
Burnett actually has pretty good career numbers against Texas's lineup. Of course, Burnett also used to be pretty good. One thing's for sure: the 2002 Niners-Giants Wild Card game on ESPN2 will get better ratings....

Lincecum-Halladay Billed As "Matchup For The Ages," A "Pitching Classic"
Elsewhere, A.J. Burnett hits two batters in a Yankees' simulation game. Here's your evening update on the NLCS/ALCS pitching rotations....

Last Night's Winner: Pedro Martinez, The Only Tolerable Part Of Ken Burns's <em>Tenth Inning</em>
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Pedro Martinez, whose small bit of screen-time yesterday was the only part of Ken Burns's sad-bugle-and-Bob-Costas extravaganza that was worth a damn....

<em>The Tenth-And-One-Third Inning</em>: The Documentary Ken Burns Should've Made (UPDATE)
Ken Burns's The Tenth Inning has a lot going for it. However, thorough as he may be, Burns missed out on one of the biggest stories of the last two decades in baseball....

Ken Burns High-Fives People When You Cry, And Other Things I Learned While Working On <em>Baseball</em>
In 1993, Alex Belth left college and began working on Ken Burns's Baseball documentary, whose coda, The Tenth Inning, is airing now on PBS. Here, Belth recalls his time with Burns, his encounter with Carly Simon, and Roger Angell's clicking lozenge....

George Will Is Once Again Inflicting His Thoughts About Baseball On America
The line of the day comes courtesy of Charlie Pierce, writing here about the piano recital and Bob Costas smarmathon known as Ken Burns's Tenth Inning: "George Will still talks like your grandmother's underwear drawer."...

Little Kid Definitely Does Not Want To Be Put In The Auburn Store
This tyke has an SEC-Speed meltdown at the mall after a seemingly empty threat. Laugh now, until it comes out that "The Auburn Store" is code for some kind of sex dungeon. [via Gossip Sports]...

Fake Press Release Makes Worthless Cubs/Brewers Game Temporarily Interesting
How do you make a Cubs/Brewers interesting when they have a combined 126-155 record? You slip a fake press release supposedly written by Cubs GM Jim Hendry into the press pack! Here's a pic (via Paul Sullivan's Twitter) ......

A.J. Burnett is a Liar. He'll Tear Your Heart Up. He'll Burn Your Soul.
Let me tell you a little bit about what A.J. Burnett did on the day Tim McCarver did the right thing by outting the Yankees organization as Nazi Communist airbrush artists....

A LeBron-Jersey-Burning-Video Roundup
Cleveland did not burn itself down last night, but it seems that everyone took to YouTube to document the torching of LeBron jerseys. Here are a few such videos....

Fan-Burning-LeBron-Jersey Videos Are The New Fan-Screaming-In-Front-Of-TV Videos
Cleveland is having its very own Guy Fawkes Day right now. If you see any more of these out there, do let us know. [via @TreyKerby]...