c Page 7738 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The NFL Playoffs Should Do, But Just In Case...
Truth be told, yesterday's playoff games had some exciting moments, but all of them occurred in the first halves. If these two games today continue that trend, we might be searching for something else to occupy our Sundays. Your other option is to play ActRaiser for the Super Nintendo....
Darren McFadden's Parents Aren't Saying Nothin' About Nothin'
"Yes he is." "No he isn't." "Is too." "Is not." "Shut up." "You shut up." "No, you shut up first." "No, your mom's ugly." There, now you're officially caught up to speed on the ongoing struggle between Darren McFadden's parents and media reports alleging their son is turning pro after his junior yea...
Celtics Begin To Develop A Cellulite Problem
Know how supermodels stay thin? By being called fat at 110 pounds. It's the only way they'll learn. Judge them. Cut them down. You really want a thin slice of carrot cake? Because that dress you love doesn't come in fat cow size....
About Last Night
What you missed while live blogging football, for reasons no longer understood ... • NCAA Basketball: Even Michigan State's football team could score more than 36 against Iowa. • NHL: Senators filed motion to beat Detroit; motion passed 3-2. • NFL: Falcons about to hire non-sockpuppet general manage...
Jaguars-Patriots, Second Half Live Blog
I'll give Boston the benefit of the doubt and assume that most New Englanders know how to spell "asterisk" correctly. But when Stephen Savoia took this picture for the Associated Press, he made it a point to ensure that Johnny West, the man holding the sign, was called out for the misspelling, and t...
Jaguars-Patriots, First Half Live Blog
The team nobody wants to play is playing the other team nobody wants to play. I forget which is which. While the first half of the Green Bay-Seattle game was phenomenal, the remainder pretty much bit the jawbreaker. Let's see if the Patriots and Jaguars can provide a full 60 minutes of entertainment...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while the floor lamp watches you back, lovingly ... • 8:00 p.m. — NFL Playoffs: Jacksonville Jaguars at New England Patriots. Josh Scobee won't be wearing heated pants, but hasn't ruled out pink boxers. [CBS] • 8:00 p.m. — C.O.P.S. They're not new, but what the hell difference does tha...
Seahawks-Packers, Second Half Live Blog
It appears that Winkles the Sockpuppet has found his way to Wisconsin, somehow, someway, to inspire Green Bay's comeback despite a 14-point deficit way early on. Seahawks fans — everyone, actually — would be wise to follow along for the second half of this incredibly fun game and see if Seattle has ...
Seahawks-Packers, First Half Live Blog
Vince Lombardi's grandson, also named Vince Lombardi, is Seattle-area lawyer, and despite his granddaddy's legacy he's rooting against the Packers. Jim Zorn's children had no idea this was permitted and feel rather shortchanged. (Found through SPORTSbyBROOKS.) Here's a big, hearty cheddar cheese soy...
Little David Witthoft Approves
• Jessica Simpson sleeps in Tony Romo's practice jerseys, and refuses to wash one. [FanHouse] • Sweaty, sweaty Bob Huggins. [The Sports Hernia] • Hockey sticks don't hurt people. People hurt people with hockey sticks. [Going Five Hole] • Hillary Clinton is the New England Patriots. [Houstoned Ballz]...
Todd Stottlemyre Seems Unhappy
The indispensable Fire Joe Morgan posted this audio-only YouTube video earlier this week featuring Stottlemyre, many years ago, sharing his insights as to why he lost his cool during a game, and I've listened to it about 20 times already. That number will only increase....
A quick programming note: Going against my doctor's recommendations, I'm going to be live blogging both NFL games tonight. And probably the ones tomorrow, too. So please, don't socialize with your real friends tonight. They acted like dicks to you last weekend anyway. Behind your back. They told us....
At Least One Super Bowl Ad Won't Be Funny
I've just been wired an announcement from the Department of Stuff We Already Friggin' Learned In Third Grade: drugs are bad for you and they're illegal. Did you know they're illegal? They're also bad for you. Apparently the DSWAFLTG is not on the same page with the WHONDCP (White House Office of Nat...
Select NFL Jerseys Marked Down If Their Team Sucks
All right, another after-Christmas NFL merchandise sale! It's perfect for people with January birthdays, January anniversaries, or if you really, really enjoy Martin Luther King Day. There's just one catch. The 30 percent price cut only applies to teams who really suck....
If you're a fan of beatdown basketball, top-ranked North Carolina has a slight lead over NC State at halftime, 43-13. If this gets any worse, the Heels might put skip their bench players and just sub in the Saint Louis Billikens. [Yahoo! Sports] Update: NC State had kind of a better second half with...
David Banks Is Significantly Worse At Long Division Than He Was A Day Ago
I'm trying hard to remember the hardest I was ever hit in the head. It might've been when I was three or four, and the kid down the street struck me right in the coconut with a croquet mallet. Even at an early age, I probably should have been aware that his wielding of a croquet mallet was unsafe...
Biding Time Until Tonight's NFL Playoffs
Considering the NFL playoffs don't begin until 4:30 and you can't sleep in until 4 on Saturdays anymore (ah, freshman year), the afternoon consists of very little beyond college basketball. So my retro video game recommendation today is Kid Chamelon for the Sega Genesis. Back then it was very meta t...
Knicks W-L Record Leaked To Dolan
It's come to this. James Dolan is so bored at Knicks games games, he's brought along Winkles the sockpuppet to entertain him. Of course, he could just replace Isiah Thomas with a more competent coach, but he clearly wouldn't do that now, after all they've been through. After giving him a $24 million...
51.8 Gigawatts!?
After a loss to the Atlanta Hawks, Udonis Haslem looked at a picture of his family and saw his siblings fading out of focus. He had no choice but to set things right and change the past. See, back on December 18 against the Atlanta Hawks, a last-minute foul that should have gone to Haslem instead wa...