canadiens Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Office Prank Is A Good Argument Against Ever Working With A Bruins Fan
We're told that the prankster in this video, who hopefully still has a job, is Kelly Park, son of NHL Hall of Famer Brad Park. He promised the CFO of their company that he would "prank" him should the Bruins knock out the Habs in the first round. They did, somewhat dramatically, and Park chose to ...

The Perils Of Pissing At A Bruins Game When You Are A Canadiens Fan
Here is an ad for adult diapers from Barstool Sports. If this Canadiens fan squeezed out a drop or two, he almost certainly shat himself as well....

Jack Edwards's Baffling Pro-Boston, Anti-Royalty Rant
Noted homer Jack Edwards probably couldn't sleep last night after his beloved Bruins came back to oust the Canadiens in 7 games. But before tossing and turning with visions of Jozef Stümpel dancing in his head, he had some parting words on the NESN postgame show....

This Is Not Andrew Ference Giving Habs Fans The Finger
Your morning roundup for April 22, the day America went to its room and listened to Smiths records....

Jack Edwards: Homer To End All Homers
Last night, NESN's Jack Edwards reminded us that he is still the ultimate homer of the hockey commentating world — hockey's Tommy Heinsohn, if you will. In Game 3 of the Bruins-Canadiens series, Edwards screamed at Montreal's Roman Hamrik to "GET UP!" after he tackled Michael Ryder to the ice. He ...

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
Buffalo will try to leave South Philly with a two-game lead on the Flyers; game starts at 5 p.m. Montreal will attempt the same, but in Boston, and starting at 7 p.m. Meanwhile, the San Jose Sharks try to hold onto their home-ice advantage against the L.A. Kings tonight....

Canada Acknowledges That Its Hockey Is More Important Than Its Politics
Canada has rescheduled a French federal election debate to accommodate the opening game of the Montreal-Boston game on Thursday. We admire the compromise: here in the states, we'd probably just have had to choose based on which event made for a better drinking game....

Chicago's Marty Turco Uses Bench Time To Place Bets With Fans, Write "Turco Rules!" On $5 Bills
Marty Turco signed a one-year contract with Chicago last summer and expected to start in net for the Blackhawks. But for much of the season, he's served as Corey Crawford's back-up and has gotten well-acquainted with the pine. He hasn't started a game since Feb. 11. So Turco's now looking for new so...

Dennis Rodman Recognizes The Importance Of Family
Your morning roundup for April 2, the day that the color starts returning to the knuckles of passengers and crew on Southwest Flight 812, the plane with a three-foot hole in its side....

Jimmer Left The Court With A Bandage On His Chin, But Kyle Singler Probably Saw His Mom Crying
Your morning roundup for March 25, the day rockhopper penguins fight for their oil-slicked lives....

Identity Of The Lady Who Bared Her Rump For All To See In The Seventies Is Finally Exposed
Your morning roundup for March 24, the day an 8.5-point underdog taps into its inner Jersey Shore, all Socs-versus-Greasers style....

Tampa Bay's Dwayne Roloson Makes Incredible Save, Compelling Case That Hockey Is Also Still Going On
Here's a great save from Dwayne Roloson in the Tampa Bay-Montreal game that somehow found a channel to exist on last night. The Canadians won in a shootout, 3-2, so Habs fans will not get the chance to protest the NHL's overtime rules....

Really, Montreal Fans? A Protest Against Head Shots <em>Now</em>?
Tonight, before the Habs' game against the Capitals, a couple thousand fans will rally outside the Bell Centre to demand that something be done about head shots in hockey. Except it's a lot more likely they're really agitating for something to be done about the head shot on Max Pacioretty....

Montreal Is So, So Mad At Zdeno Chara
Let's take one more look at Zdeno Chara's hit on Max Pacioretty that sent Pacioretty crashing into the stanchion face first, concussing him and fracturing a vertebra. Different people see different things. Some see a dirty play; the NHL doesn't see anything worth a fine or suspension. But the peop...

Max Pacioretty Was Seriously Injured In Last Night's Zdeno Chara Hit
Pacioretty suffered a severe concussion and a fractured vertebrae in last night's hard collision with Boston's Zdeno Chara. Montreal's left wing remains in the hospital and is out indefinitely. Chara will not be punished beyond the game misconduct. [ESPN]...

Max Pacioretty Carted Off Ice On Stretcher After Scary Zdeno Chara Hit
In the second period of tonight's Bruins-Habs game, with Montreal leading 4-0, Boston defenseman Zdeno Chara delivered this blow to Montreal wing Max Pacioretty, riding him headfirst into the stanchion between the benches....

Major League Booger-Picking, Possible Booger-Eating In Montreal
Sorry chum, hate to call you out on this, but you've got seats behind the bench, and with our jealously comes the desire to make fun of you for going to town on (inter)national TV....

Sand Controversy Threatens To Underwhelm Eastern Conference Finals
Something — be it sand, grit, or poisonous acid worms — was spilled in the hallway outside the visitor's locker room at the Bell Centre yesterday. The Flyers aren't crying sabotage; but we will!...

And On The Eighth Day, God Ejected Lasorda
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Genius Philly Fan Posts The License Plate He Stole From Montreal Writer Online
Everyone knows that all crimes committed immediately following a significant hockey victory cannot be prosecuted under the law, but that rule has always assumed that the suspects aren't complete blockheads who don't know how to keep their mouth shut....