cans Page 82 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
New Jersey Politician Throws Shit Fit After Getting Crying Jordan'd
Cinnaminson (N.J.) mayor Anthony Minniti lost his bid for re-election to the township committee Tuesday when a retired police sergeant defeated him in the Republican primary. When a Facebook user Crying Jordan’d Minniti’s campaign flyer and posted the image to the Cinnaminson Friends & Neighbors pag...
Hell Is Empty And All the Hedge Fund Managers Are At The Bellagio
Blue blazers. Blue checked shirts. Collar open. No tie. Brown shoes. Black shoes. Or Nike shoes. New, new, all new. Soft leather satchels with bold brass zippers. Good cufflinks. Good watches. Better than you know. Hundred dollar haircuts. Straight razored shaves. Shaped cuticles. Manicured nails. C...
The Time Has Come For <i>The Americans'</i> Philip Jennings To Defect
I like watching The Americans because I like watching two characters who are, without question, worse parents that I am. As much as I fuck up, I will never have to shield my kids from the fact that I have slaughtered dozens of innocent people, and I will not then attempt to indoctrinate the oldest o...
A Few Points About The Quality Of Peggy Noonan's Political Analysis
Why does Peggy Noonan goad me so? Her softness of tone; her airy sound of literary facility, at least to the ears of those who generally read only policy papers; her friendship with Cesar, at the deli counter. In her own way, she is the right wing version of Thomas Friedman: dangerous because people...
DeMarcus Cousins Has Fun Fielding Questions About Getting To Play The Kings<em></em>
For the first time in his NBA career, DeMarcus Cousins will play against the Sacramento Kings tomorrow night. He spoke with reporters and seems set on the belief that the Pelicans will come out, play hard, and try to get a win....
This Is All You Need To Know About Paul Ryan's Tax Plan
Boyish scamp and retrograde class warrior Paul Ryan is turning his attention to “tax reform,” a term of art for the process of moving our nation’s wealth into the bank accounts of the very rich. Here is one statistic that tells the entire story. ...
![Basketball Fans Treated To Ads Congratulating Republicans For Repealing Obamacare [UPDATES]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Basketball Fans Treated To Ads Congratulating Republicans For Repealing Obamacare [UPDATES]
Basketball fans tonight in several Republican-adjacent TV markets are enjoying a series of ads, prematurely bought by the American Action Network PAC, inviting viewers to call their representatives to thank them for repealing Obamacare today—something that did not happen. ...
Taking "Lack Of Context" To Terrifying New Extremes
“Context.” What does it mean? Do we really need it? Is it possible to write an entire, outraged newspaper column without any context at all?...
Actually The "Dilbert" Guy's Ultimate Legacy Will Be These Great Religion Books He Wrote
You may know Scott Adams as the white guy who draws Dilbert and also loves Donald Trump and has lots of, uh, interesting beliefs on various political topics. In fact, Scott Adams’ legacy is much grander....
Stop Letting Him Use You For Photo Ops
Big smile. One hand out front for a nice handshake with Mister Trump. His other hand is behind your back, stabbing you. Thanks for the photo, though. ...
The Insanity Of The Steve Bannon Origin Myth
Steve Bannon: millionaire banker, right-wing media executive, white nationalist, warmonger, Trump strategist. How did he become the man he is? The leading theory makes very little sense....
Enjoy This Cousins-To-Davis Alley-Oop, Because The Pelicans Probably Won't Make The Playoffs
The Pelicans may have traded for the best player at the trade deadline, but they remain an outside shot to make the playoffs. That said, both DeMarcus Cousins and Anthony Davis have been, statistically speaking, “pretty good” since the trade....
Trump's Budget: Less Housing, More Bombs
Budgets are where political and moral priorities get stated. How sick are our priorities today? ...
Is Your Chicken Processed By Free Range Humans?
Yesterday, the Senate voted to repeal regulations that required federal contractors to accurately disclose all of their workplace safety violations. Because who would want that? ...
DeMarcus Cousins To Rude Heckler: "Suck A Dick, Bitch"
DeMarcus Cousins’s tenure with the Pelicans hasn’t started off so well, as the birds have struggled against a tough schedule despite solid play from Boogie. Last night, they beat the Lakers in L.A., and a pair of hecklers parked their asses courtside, laid into Boogie, and got video of themselves do...
The Future Of Feature Writing Is Woof Woof Bark Aww
If you’re a regular reader of feature journalism on the internet, you have encountered what we at Deadspin sometimes refer to as the “Snow Fall” treatment, after the famous New York Times story that launched the phenomenon. This is when a publisher packages a (typically lengthy) feature story with f...
Peggy Noonan Didn't Watch The Whole Speech
Gentle Peggy Noonan, the medium through which Ronald Reagan’s ghost whispers its sweet nothings into the living world, is fond of the speech of this leader, this “Donald.” At least, the parts she heard. ...
You Can't Balance Out Racism
Some things don’t dissolve in a cup of platitudes....
You Can Quantify How Differently Democrats And Republicans See The Future
No need to just guess how different our worldview (the smart ones) is from the others (dumb, bad people). There are numbers—awful, awful numbers....
The Pelicans Are Playing With House Money
The DeMarcus Cousins era did not get off to the best start in New Orleans last night, as the Pelicans were blown out by the Rockets 129-99. No need to panic in New Orleans, though, because the Pelicans still have plenty of time to figure out how Anthony Davis and Cousins can fit together, and if eve...