car Page 365 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Calling It Now: First To Worst
Beanie Wells finally ends his mini-holdout, promptly sprains his ankle in first practice. It's going to be one of those seasons for the Cardinals, by which I mean "like all the other seasons besides last year." [Arizona Republic]...
If You Want a Ride In James Harrison's Smart Car, Ask For a Ride in James Harrison's Smart Car When He Hasn't Won the Super Bowl
James Harrison, who is reportedly afraid of one perfectly dignified method of transportation, showed up to training camp in in a tiny German clown car. He is driving it for the children!...
Where In The World Was Matthew Stafford?
We asked where these photos of Matthew Stafford's summer vacation were taken, and boy, did we get some answers. It's just too bad they all contradicted each other....
Lisa Mayfield Did Not Appreciate The "Whore" Remarks
NASCAR's Jeremy Mayfield is being sued by his stepmother, Lisa, for "slanderous, false and defamatory statements" she says he made about her. You mean the murdering whore thing? Wait ... you were upset about?...
Aaron Ward Jinxes Himself Out Of Winter Classic
On July 16, Boston's Aaron Ward was asked about his team getting to play in the Winter Classic. His response: "Don't jinx me yet. I could always be traded." Nine days later, he was traded to Carolina. [National Post/CBC/Bruins Blog]...
Steve Spurrier Apologizes For Not Genuflecting To The Tebow
SEC coaches and journalists spent maybe six hours of the conference's three-day media tugjob fretting over the vicious bastard who didn't pick Tim Tebow as No. 1 Super QB of the year. All because Steve Spurrier can't read....
Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized
"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...
Tall Car Salesman Poised To Become The "Curt Flood Of College Sports"
Ed O'Bannon, the former UCLA star now selling Camrys in the suburbs of Las Vegas, is the lead plaintiff in a long-awaited, much-welcomed class action suit that could sink a coup de grace through the NCAA's incoherent definition of amateurism....
Jeremy Mayfield Likes Fire, 'Splosions
We're not saying that Jeremy Mayfield's meth-fueled race car stepmom drama makes him (and his sport) look like some sort of redneck version of Hamlet….but this video of him blowing up gas cans doesn't help....
The Agony Of Upkeep
There are many shitty things about growing old. But here's one of the shittiest: paying lots of money simply to maintain the shit you already have....
How To Get Donald Trump All Fired Up
The Donald was cruising around Trump National — the best, most stupendously fabulous course in New Jersey, of course — when someone stole his No. 13 golf cart. Doesn't he have, like, apprentices to make sure that doesn't happen? [Star-Ledger]...
If An Octogenarian Can Do It, It's Not A Sport (UPDATED)
What's scarier for a NASCAR driver going 200 mph? Sharing the track with someone on meth? Or sharing the track with someone who needs to get to Old Country Buffet in time for the early bird special?...
Open Caption: Yep, That's An Oscar Mayer Wiener
"An Oscar Meyer Wienermobile crashed into the home and outdoor deck. The vehicle was parked in the driveway. The driver lurched the vehicle forward instead of backing out of the driveway, hitting the deck and cracking the house's foundation." [Strib]...
Want A NASCAR Press Pass? Start A Blog!
Welcome to the world of the media elite, you so-called NASCAR Citizen Journalists Media Group. No cheering in the press box, no asking for autographs, no photos with the drivers, and be careful around the professionals. They might bite....
Why Your Stadium Sucks: Busch Stadium
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The St. Louis Cardinals' Busch Stadium....
Jeremy Mayfield Goes To War Against NASCAR And His "Whore" Stepmom
As noted last night, NASCAR says that Jeremy Mayfield failed another drug test, but he has fired back with even more outrageous countercharges—like implying NASCAR's chairman is on drugs and flat-out accusing his stepmother of murdering his father....
Rick Pitino Didn't Do That Thing Karen Sypher Said He Did, Probably
Louisville police will not prosecute Rick Pitino for whatever it is Karen Sypher allegedly tried to blackmail him with. So I guess we'll never get a steamy "Law & Order"-style courtroom drama starring the saucy Cardinals coach....
Jeremy Mayfield Fails Meth Test (Not A Deadspin Classic Post)
NASCAR has been looking for something, anything to get a judge to reinstate Jeremy Mayfield's ban after testing positive for meth. Perhaps testing positive for it again last week will do the trick....
Have You Seen This Purple Convertible?
Granted, Carolina linebacker Thomas Davis' $136,000 purple and chrome Caprice Classic really blends into a crowd, but it was stolen last week, so holler if you find it. Must be a lot of Panther-loving Prince fans out there. [WFMB/WRAL]...
Fixing The President's Throwing Motion
As you know, our commander-in-chief took the mound last night and did an excellent impression of a man trying to throw a party balloon. I asked some experts to evaluate Obama's mechanics and explain just what needed to be fixed....