car Page 385 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mariah Isn't Even The Worst
The famous Cincinnati mayor Mark Mallory is still probably the worst, though his endless "jokey" PR campaign about it took a lot of the fun out of it. If we ever had to throw out a first pitch sometime, we'd be so nervous, we probably wouldn't do much better. We wonder if celebrities can just start ...
Carlos Guillen Would Like To Borrow Your Cooling Ointment And A Large Cushion
Anyone who's ever had the misfortune of being stricken with a dreaded hemorrhoid flare-up can attest to how painful it is. When it first appears, the general swamp ass-y, hiney spider feeling reaches about a "5" on the uncomforability scale. But the longer it lingers, it quickly shoots up to about a...
You Can Own Babe Ruth's Hair
We don't know about you, but we've grown tired of your traditional baseball cards, with their stats and biographical details and pithy anecdotes. We would like our baseball cards to include actual human hair, so that we might clone our favorite players and raise them as pets. Is there any way that c...
Gary Carter Wonders If He Should Let The Mets Know He Wants To Manage Them
Willie Randolph could very well be Art Howe-ing his way out of a job in New York, but what's kind of important is the fact that he still has employment with the Mets. That hasn't stopped Gary Carter, who's currently managing an independent minor league team in California, to start inquiring about wh...
Media Approval Ratings: Tim McCarver
We're not sure we're going to still be doing these Media Approval Things in October, which is why we have to do Tim McCarver now. Because fans' opinions of McCarver are never more polarized than in October....
The 1986 Cardinals Are In The World Series!
Excuse us one more time for the self-indulgence, but we are gleeful to report that our 1986 St. Louis Cardinals Strat-O-Matic team has reached the World Series. We're a little ashamed by how much joy this has brought us, but there it is....
Man: The Edmonds Thing Is Really Happening
Augh ... man, the Cubs really did sign Jim Edmonds. Other than Pujols or Willie McGee signing with those guys, we can't imagine our brains hurting more than they do to see this. And we're sure Cubs fans don't feel any better about it. Proceed with extreme caution, Jim; Cards fans can no longer prot...
Not Quite A Mark McGwire Sighting, But Close
It's been a while since we've seen Mark McGwire. Wait ... was that him at that Obama rally yesterday? OK, no, that wasn't him. But admit it: You wouldn't be surprised if he looked like this now....
Jim Edmonds To The Cubs? Nooooooooooo!
Through it all, through all the hamboning and declining skills, we Cardinals fans have always loved Jim Edmonds. How do you not love a guy who has tattoos of both Darryl Kile and Josh Hancock? But man, if he signs with the Cubs, as has been heavily rumored, we might have a problem....
Pink Bats, Red Faces; This One's For You, Mom
Here we go, writing about breasts again. Mother's Day was Sunday, and you know what that means: The pink bats were back. And while that's good for the fight against breast cancer, it was bad for the Cincinnati Reds, who just seemed to be horribly disoriented by the unfamiliar flashing colors. I supp...
Drinking Helmet Enhances Signs, Eases Their Display
The drinking helmet is not only a good sign complement. It's a must. [The Sports Hernia]...
Dyshod Carter Probably Not The Next Frank Lucas
Dyshod Carter, a former cornerback for the Cardinals and Browns, was one of five people arrested earlier this week for attempting to purchase seven kilos of cocaine from an undercover DEA agent at the low, low Phoenix price of $16,000 a key....
Gamecock And Blowie, Together At Last
Of course you all know the University of South Carolina Gamecock, pictured at left. But you may not be familiar with Blowie, the mascot of the Columbia Blowfish of the Coastal Plain League (the only costumed mascot who is deadly poisonous if not properly cooked). I'm not sure of the circumstances w...
Go Ozzie! Go Willie! Go Jack!
If you'll forgive us a brief moment of self-indulgence ... our daily obsession for the last few months paid off last night as our 1986 Strat-O-Matic St. Louis Cardinals won the National League East by one game over Baba Booey's New York Mets. (And two games over Doug Glanville's Philadelphia Phillie...
Leeeeet's Get Ready to Spar!
Oscar de la Hoya and Steve Forbes are set to face off at the Home Depot Center in Carson, California, for some reason that nobody can quite explain. I'm not about to turn down a chance to see one of the sport's greatest competitors fight a weak opponent, but in a year that's been packed with incred...
Cubs-Cardinals: First Place In May Is On The Line!
Forgive us a little bit of that "favoritism" that so brands the blog world such a dangerous place ... but we're pretty freaking excited about the Cubs-Cardinals series this weekend....
Tyler Hansbrough Regrets NOTHINGGGGGG!!!!!!
Via 850: The Buzz and The Big Lead, here's North Carolina's Tyler Hansbrough jumping off a roof into (hopefully) a pool....
UNC's Bobby Frasor Might Hurt Himself. Again.
The man preparing to jump off the roof into that fantastic above-ground pool is, according to some college hoops bloggers, University of North Carolina point guard Bobby Frasor. He's just having some fun, blowing off steam, as classes wind down for the semester at North Carolina. No harm, really — h...
Please Do Not Mock Jim Leyland's Beekeeper Hat
The year is 1986. Out of Africa wins the Academy Award for best picture; the Space Shuttle Challenger disintegrates soon after launch over the coast of central Florida; and the Pittsburgh Pirates are wearing very tall hats. I came upon this glorious snapshot in time courtesy of The Ugly Baseball Car...
Tart Like A Wheel
On Sunday, Ashley Force, another comely lass who loves all things smelling like motor oil and shaped like spark plugs, became the first woman to ever win the NHRA Funny Car ( fuh-fuh-funny car! funny car!)event. You may remember Force from that reality show "Driving Force" where her and her racing f...