carl Page 42 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Giancarlo Stanton Is Back And Already Hitting Monster Dongs
Giancarlo Stanton wasn’t supposed to return from a gnarly groin tear until another week or so, but he made a startlingly early return to the Marlins a few weeks ago. Tonight, he hit his first dinger since he came back, and boy oh boy it was a spicy one....
Carlos Beltran Put Eye Black On His Head To Make Fun Of Rougned Odor
Texas Rangers designated hitter Carlos Beltran showed up to the team’s Aug. 28 game with a new look, reminiscent of a different Carlos. As it turns out, Beltran didn’t grow some “hair” to fool anyone. He wanted to make a joke at the expense of teammate Rougned Odor....
Giancarlo Stanton Is Back, Sort Of
Just over three weeks ago, the Marlins announced that Giancarlo Stanton would be out for at least six weeks, and most likely the rest of the MLB season, with a Grade 3 groin strain (a strain is classified as a Grade 3 if muscles are torn). When the Marlins made that announcement, they were tied with...
Rutgers Basketball Unleashes The Worst Brag Of All Time
A decent way to get top-flight basketball recruits to attend your school is to convince those recruits that the opportunity to play ball for a storied program on a national stage will set them up to earn millions of dollars in the NBA. This tactic makes sense for schools like Duke, Kentucky, and Kan...
Report: Anthony Weiner Has Once Again Sent The Grossest Possible Sexts And Dong Pics
Former New York congressman Anthony Weiner, the powdered remnant of a pack of expired herbal boner pills found on a bodega shelf, has once again been busy sending pictures of his tighty-whitey-clad dick to a Twitter user, according to a new report from the New York Post, a reliable source of informa...
Make Good Life Choices, Carlos Beltrán
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Dodgers Trade A.J. Ellis For Carlos Ruiz, Devastating Clayton Kershaw
In a baffling move, the Los Angeles Dodgers traded away Clayton Kershaw’s personal catcher, A.J. Ellis (as well as a pitching prospect and player to be named later), in exchange for Carlos Ruiz of the Philadelphia Phillies....
What Happened To The Long Jump?
Jeff Henderson claimed Olympic gold in the long jump Saturday night. He’s the first American to win that event since 2004, though the U.S. has won long jump gold 22 of the 28 times it’s been contested at the Olympics. And this is probably the first time you’re hearing his name....
The Cardinals Lost Their 52nd Game
The lowly Atlanta Braves earned their 40th win of the season Saturday as they drubbed the St. Louis Cardinals, 13-5....
Giancarlo Stanton Just Jerked The Mightiest Dong Of The Season
Are you sitting down? Okay....
Carmelo Anthony Apologizes To Vanessa Carlton For Being A Big Grumpus
Team USA has been having a lot of fun off the court as they prepare to compete in the Rio Olympics (some have been having more fun than others), but a grumpy Carmelo Anthony was recently caught trying to rain on everyone’s parade....
Your MLB Trade Fucking Deadline Roundup
The MLB trade deadline has come and gone, and although news of more deals could trickle in over the next few hours, I think it’s safe to say that the hot fucking stove was only moderately hot today. Look, my hand is on the stove right now. It’s right there on the burner. What do I feel? It’s not col...
Giancarlo Stanton Stroked Some Mighty Dongs
Giancarlo Stanton, the finest masher of taters in baseball, won the home run derby last night with a record 61 total home runs. He hit 18 of the 19 longest homers of the evening, and his 61 dingers traveled a total of 5.1 miles....
Giancarlo Stanton Shames Heckling Fan With His Mighty Swing
Giancarlo Stanton went on a two-day dinger spree that gave us four beautiful homers to ogle. It also gave us a very good video from the seats at the Mets’ stadium, which boasts some of the best comedic timing I’ve ever seen....
Giancarlo Stanton Is Out To Destroy Every Baseball In New York
Last night against the Mets, Marlins slugger Giancarlo Stanton used his last two at-bats of the game to deliver us the gift of two perfectly mashed, picturesque taters. The Marlins played the Mets again this afternoon, and Stanton slapped two more gasp-inducing dingers in his first two at-bats of th...
Giancarlo Stanton Has All The Dingers You Need
How do you like your dingers? Do you like watching the strong man with a bat drive a low hard one that just clears the fence and puts a dang dent in the stadium? Or do you prefer it when the slugger bonks a dong so high into the night sky that it threatens to make contact with alien life? Whatever y...
Giancarlo Stanton Is Still Here Killing People With Strong Home Runs<em></em>
“Giancarlo Stanton, what did that baseball do to you?” muses the Marlins’ color commentator. And, well, given the way the baseball was treated—namely, donged so hard you don’t have time to even think Hey wait I thought he was struggling this year? before it gets out of the park—here are some possibi...
Hey, Here's A Nice Story
Last month, Eric LeGrand, the former Rutgers football player paralyzed on a hit in 2010, gave a motivational speech at Hanover Park H.S. in New Jersey. He then called up to the stage 18-year-old Gianna Brunini, and asked her to prom:...
Well, At Least Giancarlo Stanton Can Still Hit The Life Out Of A Baseball
Giancarlo Stanton’s season has been something of a nightmare. He’s hitting just .197, slugging .426, and his strikeout rate is an astronomically high 35 percent. He recently went through a stretch in which he struck out 17 times in 21 at-bats. It’s been a bad season, okay? It’s bad. Stanton does sti...
Pittsburgh's HBK Line Is The NHL's Hottest
The verb that came to mind watching last night’s 4-2 Pittsburgh win was “overwhelms.” You can hold off the Penguins for a while, you can even shut down a scorer or an entire line for games at a time, but they’ve got so much talent, they’re so deep with scorers up and down their bench and offer barel...