cc Page 222 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Notre Dame's President Wants You To Believe Discrimination Is Politics
Notre Dame president John I. Jenkins, a reverend who has already established himself as one of the biggest liars or frauds in America, has some things to get off his chest. Jenkins is upset that the NCAA decided to remove championship events from North Carolina due to the state’s anti-LGBT laws, and...
Fernando Torres Does A Fernando Torres
Fernando Torres must’ve felt some kind of way about Edinson Cavani threatening to usurp El Niño’s hard-earned title as The World’s Foremost Sitter-Misser, so he went and did this:...
Brilliant Shithead Cristiano Ronaldo Had A Brilliant, Shitheaded Game Yesterday
As everyone knows, Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the greatest soccer players of all time. He’s also an obnoxious, petulant brat prone to sneaky acts of outright violence when he feels aggrieved. All sides of CR7 were on display during yesterday’s Real Madrid-Borussia Dortmund match....
Is Gerardo Martino The USMNT Coach-In-Waiting?
Gerardo “Tata” Martino, the Argentine coach coming off a run managing at the very pinnacle of his profession with stints at the helms of Barcelona and Argentina, has officially signed on with MLS expansion team, Atlanta United FC. This is a weird one....
England Manager Sam Allardyce Loses Job After Just One Game In Charge
England manager Sam Allardyce and the FA have “mutually agreed to terminate his contract,” one day after The Telegraph published the results of a hidden-camera investigation in which Allardyce advises “businessmen” on how to get around third-party ownership rules. It isn’t a particularly damning inv...
England Manager Sam Allardyce Reportedly Caught Telling Businessmen How To Cheat FA Rules
Last year, FIFA outlawed the practice of third-party ownership of players, which is essentially a way for businesses to hold a stake in a soccer player and collect a cut of their transfer fees. It comes with a minefield of conflicts of interests and can help explain why certain elite players get squ...
Arsenal Looked Like The Best Team In England This Weekend, But They'll Fuck It Up Somehow
Meet “Troopz,” aka The Arsenal Trooper, aka (as his Twitter bio puts it) “Mr Blud/Fam,” aka the loudest, demandingest, angriest, most exuberant, all-around best Arsenal fan. He is, for once, very happy with his station in life as a Gunner today. He has good reason to be....
Michael Essien's 30th Birthday Party Was Just The Saddest<em></em>
Remember those early 2010s Jose Mourinho-led Real Madrid squads, who seemed to fight with everybody—opponents, Barcelona, referees, Barcelona, La Liga, Barcelona, teammates, and Barcelona? ...
What The Hell Were The Buccaneers Thinking?
There’s no good way to lose to the Los Angeles Rams, a team that scored a grand total of nine points through the first eight quarters of the season and is quarterbacked by something called “Case Keenum.” But of all the possible ways to fall to a team as bad as the Rams (really, there aren’t many!), ...
Known Man-Eating Fish Strikes England, Devours Goalkeeping Coach On Pitch
A tragedy was narrowly avoided this weekend when a gigantic, basketball jersey-clad fish, presumably hired as the halftime entertainment for the day’s Derby County-Blackburn match, attacked a poor goalkeeping coach in the middle of its act. Luckily, the man was not seriously harmed....
FIFA Shutters Anti-Racism Task Force, Because There's No More Racism In Soccer
FIFA has chosen to dissolve its anti-racism task force. According to the Associated Press, the organization believes that the committee has “completely fulfilled its temporary mission.”...
High School Boys Soccer Team Forfeits Rather Than Risk Losing To Girls
The boys soccer team of a Christian high school in Arizona decided to forfeit a game rather than play a team that included girls, citing religious beliefs....
Premier League Player Suspended Four Games For Homophobic Tweets From Four Years Ago
The F.A. has concluded its investigation into controversial tweets made by Burnley striker Andre Gray in 2012, and has imposed upon him a four-match suspension. The tweets in question ranged from sexist to homophobic, with the most inflammatory including his apparent wish that gays would “burn” and ...
Report: Buccaneers To Release Austin Seferian-Jenkins Following DUI Arrest
Tampa Bay Buccaneers tight end Austin Seferian-Jenkins was arrested early Friday morning for drunk driving. It now looks like the Bucs are releasing him....
Landon Donovan And I Would Like To Announce Our Availability For The USMNT
In some ways, Landon Donovan and I are very different people. He is an internationally famous and widely beloved MLS legend who just recently decided to unretire from the sport he was born to play and rejoin the L.A. Galaxy. I am a largely anonymous yet widely loathed MLS hater who never played prof...
Don't Expect Police Video Of Keith Scott's Death Any Time Soon
Keith Lamont Scott was shot and killed Friday by police, who were searching The Village at College Downs, an apartment complex, for a separate man with an outstanding warrant. The police have said the 43-year old was carrying a handgun the second time he stepped out of his vehicle, and refused to pu...
Mario Balotelli Scores Two More Goals, Remains On Fire
Mario Balotelli has always been kind of a headcase. Of late, his nuttiness has unfortunately overshadowed his undeniable abilities. But now, after commemorating his second start with his new club Nice with his second two-goal match, it’s beginning to look like maybe Balo is more crazy good than just...
Christian Pulisic Is Too Good To Be Underhyped
It wasn’t even two whole weeks ago that Borussia Dortmund manager Thomas Tuchel sought to keep the hype flames being stoked by eager Christian Pulisic fans under control. Sure, it’s neat that Pulisic has done well with the USMNT, I guess, Tuchel basically said. But let’s be real: he was doing it aga...
Yaya Touré Won't Play For Man City Again Unless His Shit-Talking Agent Apologizes
After new Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola left Yaya Touré off City’s Champions League roster, Touré’s agent, Dimitri Seluk, said his client was humiliated:...
Great And Loyal Soccer Dog Is A Better Goalkeeper Than Human Counterpart
Look at this cute little Chilean puppy, recognizing that the keeper on the team he supports was in trouble, and channeling his inner Air Bud by running out onto the pitch and making a clutch play to save the day. Good doggie....