cc Page 273 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Worst Punishment For Luis Suárez Is Forcing Him To Play Teenagers
The worst part of Luis Suárez's suspension for the player himself probably hasn't been the jokes about his cannibalistic supervillain image, nor missing out on the early parts of this promising Barcelona season, nor the weekly adulation from tens of thousands of fans he used to receive whenever he s...

FIFA's Independent Investigator Wants His Corruption Report Released
FIFA hired an outside investigator to conduct a probe into allegations of bribery in the bidding process for the Russia and Qatar World Cups. That investigator, a former U.S. federal prosecutor, has finally submitted his findings to FIFA with the expectation that they would eventually be released to...

The Problem With Peter King
Let’s begin with Peter King on Twitter last night. If you hate-follow poor Peter on Twitter, as I do, you know that his stream consists largely of mangled replies and random compliments to entire towns—Helluva main street you got there, Hanover, New Hampshire!—and last night was no different. The S...

Ghanaian Soccer Star Denies Rumors He Ritually Sacrificed Rapper Friend
In the second confrontation—the first involving kicking the shit out of a journalist for inquiring on the subject—of rumors that Asamoah Gyan had his old friend, the rapper Castro, ritually sacrificed to benefit his career, the Gyan family has released a long statement denying the allegations....

What Are The Most Successful Formations In The Premier League?
Soccer formations are hard to pin down. They come in and out of fashion almost seasonally; their success will largely rest on which top teams adopt or abandon them; and there are an infinite number of permutations of each. All that said, why not poke our heads in on a broad survey of how various for...

Liverpool Defeat Middlesbrough 14-13 On Penalties
Yes, the headline is accurate. Liverpool defeated Championship side Middlesbrough 14-13 on penalties Tuesday to advance to the fourth round of the League Cup. Liverpool took leads of 1-0 and 2-1 but were pegged back twice, the second time in the 123rd minute of play after Kolo Touré's ill-advised ta...

Greek Soccer Team's Manager Gets Way Too Turnt During Press Conference
If there was one thing you could say about Gennaro Gattuso, AC Milan's and Italy's fiery former leader, it was that the man was a lock for a manager job when he retired. If there was another thing you could say, it was that said managerial career would involve numerous public blow-ups like this....

Nathaniel Clyne's Walloping 35-Yard Goal Put Southampton Up On Arsenal
This probably isn't news to most of you, but if you want to know why this site is named "Screamer," it's because of goals like this. Nathaniel Clyne belted this thing so hard the ball probably started screaming, and we were screaming while watching it fly in. Hence: Screamer....

10cc's "I'm Not In Love" Was The Real Song Of The Summer
Right now, on the upper reaches of the Billboard 200 album chart, in the midst of 21st-century pop frivolities like Maroon 5, Jeezy, Sam Smith, Ariana Grande, and Now That's What I Call Music 51, sits Guardians of the Galaxy: Awesome Mix Vol. 1, which once reigned at no. 1, and now sits comfortabl...

LeSean McCoy Dazed By Helmet-To-Helmet Clash, Quickly Cleared To Return
Eagles staff had to hide LeSean McCoy's helmet to keep him off the field after a helmet-to-helmet hit left the Philadelphia running back visibly dazed. He was quickly cleared to return after a trip to the locker room....

Frank Lampard Scored A Fittingly Huge Goal Against Old Team Chelsea
The pillars of the old crew were all there. John Terry still in the captain's armband. A ponytailed Didier Drogba in his famous number 11. The boss José Mourinho, looking upon his charges sternly from the sideline, no doubt fighting back an inner smile. And Frank Lampard, a goal down, hungry to do...

Manchester United Dominate Leicester, End Up Getting Blown Out
You see that little guy up there? That's Filbert the Fox, Leicester City's mascot. Don't worry, he's feeling great. Though his club hosted the rich and famous Manchester United today, his boys managed to take down the giants. Those aren't tears of sadness, they're tears of mockery, directed at the...

The Premier League Needs More Bastards Like Diego Costa
It takes a certain type of person to start an argument with a person who can't even understand what they're saying. But with Chelsea leading 3-1 at Everton with a little over 20 minutes to play, a goal already to his name, that's what Diego Costa did....

Moritz Stoppelkamp Scores Longest Ever Bundesliga Goal
Down 0-1 to Bundesliga newcomers SC Paderborn 07 in second half stoppage time, Hannover 96 keeper Ron-Robert Zieler went forward for a last ditch free kick. That proved to be an unfortunate decision, as Paderborn midfielder Moritz Stoppelkamp cleared the ball 83 meters into Zieler's net. Stoppelka...

How To Make Pasta With Leeks And Prosciutto, While There's Still Time
Oh shit, dinner is still A Thing. It exists. Disaster. This is you, creeping incrementally homeward in the transportation gridlock of your locale and mode of transit, flop-sweaty and wild-eyed like John Lithgow on the airplane, doing a frantic mental inventory of the nigh-barren refrigerator wa...

New Footage Proves Zlatan Ibrahimović Has Been Stuntin' Since Birth
Children sometimes have difficulty understanding the origins of God. How, if He was never born, did he emerge fully formed from nothing? Now, thanks to this previously unreleased footage of Zlatan Ibrahimović in his early years, we now have the perfect explanatory analogy....

Manchester United's Luke Shaw Is The Next Gareth Bale, Even If He's Not
This summer, Manchester United bought left back Luke Shaw from Southampton for £30 million. Luke Shaw is 19 years old. If you're not familiar with soccer's transfer fees, that is a staggering amount of money for a teenager. It's more than the fee paid for Wayne Rooney, another English talent of grea...