cc Page 491 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Today In The Premiership...
• Chelsea 2-1 Tottenham. William Gallas uncorked a buck nasty shot that got by Tottenham's goalie to give Chelsea the win in extra time. Chelsea now needs just five wins in their last nine games to wrap up another league title. Their celebratory hugs, however, remain segregated....
We're Guessing Greenies Are Encouraged Here
You thought the Anaheim Mighty Ducks were bad? In the MLS, it appears the New York/New Jersey MetroStars could be bought by the Red Bull energy drink. We think this makes Britney Spears' child the official mascot of the team....
Ashley Cole Is Not A Rear Gunner
Ashley Cole, soccer star for Arsenal (known to cool people as the "Gunners") and England, is suing a couple of London newspapers for alleging that he was involved in a gay orgy. Cole is pictured there with his fianc , pop singer Cheryl Tweedy, who is smoking hot....
Today In The Premiership...
Fulham 0-4 Arsenal. The Gunners threw an old-school beatdown on Fulham, getting two goals from Thierry Henry, and outplaying Fulham in every possible way. Arsenal plays Real Madrid on Wednesday, and I'm definitely watching that. If it's on TV. And it doesn't conflict with the Big East tournament....
Oh, That's A Yellow Card, Sugar
Via The Mighty MJD, Sportshooligan and Flurl.com comes just about the most hysterical thing we've seen all week: The world's most flamboyant soccer referee....
Know Your Cuts Of Soccer Player
To end the day on an up note, here's another wacky soccer story. It's actually our favorite kind, because it involves meat....
We Could Learn A Thing Or Two About Loutish Behavior From The Brits
We Americans get so cute sometimes with our little disagreements in the stands at NBA games, and our occasional guy who runs onto the field to take the football from Brett Favre. Meanwhile, in England, they're doing things like this:...
Vince Young, Meet David Beckham
Here's international soccer superstar David Beckham on helping his son Brooklyn (?) with his homework....
Today in the Premiership...
Blackburn 1-0 Arsenal. It was letdown time for the Gunners today, after beating Real Madrid on Tuesday. The Rovers gave them a bone today, and look at that... with their win today, Blackburn has crept ahead of Arsenal in the league table....
Strap on the Old, um, Feedbag and Check Out 'Footballers Wives'
If you haven't already been watching the british import Footballers Wives, then it might be time to finally pop for premium cable. Of course the "football" here means "soccer", for you nonmetropolitan types. Thanks to our man Tim Goodman, the TV writer for the San Francisco Chronicle, we discovere...
Today In The Premiership...
• Arsenal 7-0 Middlesbrough. Holy Lord. 7-0? Did they let Arsenal use their hands? Man, there's real chance that Arsenal outscores the Chicago Bears this weekend. In fact, Thierry Henry might outscore the Bears himself, as he scored three of the seven....
We Won't Even Discuss The Virgin Islands
We know that the Swiss have an uncanny knack for avoiding trouble, and here's why: their extraordinary common sense....
Welcome To The Bizarro NFL
Word on the street is that the Green Bay Packers are set to hire San Francisco 49ers offensive coordinator Mike McCarthy as the team's new head coach, with an announcement to come maybe later today. This may come as a surprise to, well, anyone who is familiar with the final NFL regular season stan...
Soccer Players Shouldn't Date Hot Topless Women
Our mystery soccer correspondent files this report of Chelsea soccer star Joe Cole being beaten to a pulp over a Page 3 girl (Link NSFW)....
NFL Playoff Roundup: Riiiiipppppp!
• Honestly, we know this was covered all weekend, but man, that Carson Palmer thing was the worst playoff moment we can remember. We think Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals have it tough; Bengals fans finally get in the playoffs, and two plays in, their Pro Bowl QB tears an ACL and MCL. (Quest...
Redskins vs. Bucs - 4th quarter
• Mike Patrick just said the words, "An exciting muff."...
Redskins vs. Bucs - 3rd quarter
• That's how you get back into a game. First, the Bucs force a 3-and-out with a sack on third down, then a nice punt return, then a very slick offensive drive capped by a Simms TD on a bootleg. That's quality work you did at halftime, Jon Gruden. 17-10 Redskins....
Redskins vs. Bucs - 2nd quarter
• The Redskins front 7 is playing very well, keeping Cadillac Williams in check. In essence, they're putting the game into the hands of Chris Simms. • Tampa Bay gets on the board with a Matt Bryant FG, making the score 14-3 Redskins. This leads to the positively infuriating "Score, Commercial, Kic...
Redskins vs. Bucs - 1st quarter
• Anthony Becht and LaVar Arrington seem to have different levels of respect for the recent accomplishments of their alma maters. Becht announced himself as being from "The 2006 Sugar Bowl Champion West Virginia Mountaineers," while Arrington said he was from "North Hills High." • Chris Hovan has ...
Today In The FA Cup...
What's The FA Cup, you ask? Well, here's what I can gather, combining knowledge from my buddy Danks and a very thoughtful e-mail from a guy named Pete. The FA is the governing body of soccer in England, which covers the Premier League and all the leagues below it, which are kinda like minor league...