ces Page 41 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The "Blue State Secession" Thing Is Not Helping
Ever since the election of Donald Trump, we have been treated to periodic semi-serious think pieces by liberals saying that blue states should form their own country. Hey—shut the fuck up!!...
Piss Off, Tim Tebow
Tim Tebow isn’t a major-league ballplayer, and he isn’t a pro ballplayer in any but the barest, most literal sense. Certainly, if he weren’t famous for playing football and for not having been aborted, no one anywhere would pay him money to play baseball. Look at this shit!...
Fuck Off, GRRM!
Hey man, we don’t want this weak shit! Give us The Winds Of Winter! Let’s see some pages!...
Fence Defeats Orlando City Fan
This Orlando City fan went for a shortcut, and paid dearly. The prolonged dusting of his clothes is an admirable effort in trying to play it off like nothing happened....
Your Goal Of The Day Comes From The Colombian League
César Carrillo gave his Jaguares side a 1-0 lead over Millonarios with a golazo from distance that brought a, uh, modestly full Estadio Jaraguay to a frenzy....
Mike Francesa Can't Fathom The Idea Of Women Coaching Men
Mike Francesa, a man who already has a tenuous grip on the world to start with, struggled to be coherent when a caller asked if he could one day see a woman coaching a men’s professional sports team....
Frances Tiafoe, America's Best Young Prospect, Is Getting Closer To Stardom
Frances Tiafoe, the best American teen in the men’s game, hasn’t taken down any giants yet, but every few months he gets quite close. Back at the U.S. Open, he took literal giant John Isner to a fifth-set tiebreak, and last night in Acapulco, the 19-year-old took Juan Martin del Potro to a third-set...
Danny Drinkwater Strikes Perfect Volley As Leicester Bang On Liverpool
Hm. It’s good that the Leicester fans—who’ve continued supporting this team is if it were still the high-flying title-winning bunch of last season and not the sorry relegation-quality outfit of this year—have something to cheer. Plus, Danny Drinkwater’s delectable volley that gave the home team a 2-...
Viola Davis Gave An Academy Award Acceptance Speech To Remember
As expected by everyone, Viola Davis claimed the Supporting Actress Oscar for her work in Fences. Her acceptance speech was the kind you’ll see replayed on Academy Award broadcasts fifty years into the future—hitting every corner of emotion while stating her commitment to “exhume those bodies; exhum...
Claudio Ranieri's Statement After Getting Fired Is Sad And Great
Claudio Ranieri has been fired by Leicester City, and he probably deserved it, even after accomplishing the impossible the year before. That doesn’t mean he isn’t still the best, though, as his statement in light of his firing attests:...
Leicester City Have Fired Title-Winning Manager Claudio Ranieri
Leicester City manager Claudio Ranieri, the architect of the greatest, most shocking, I-still-can’t-believe-it-happened-even-though-it-definitely-did championship victory in the history of sports, has reportedly been fired today....
Yankees President Randy Levine Devalues And Dismisses Dellin Betances For No Reason After Arbitration Hearing
The New York Yankees won their arbitration case against Dellin Betances today, allowing them to pay the reliever $3 million this year instead of the $5 million he filed for. But it apparently wasn’t enough for Yankees president Randy Levine simply to be able to underpay the three-time All-Star, beca...
Joel Embiid Considered Quitting Basketball When He Was Injured
Within the limited minutes he’s allowed, Joel Embiid has proven himself one of the finest two-way rookies in recent memory, but it bears remembering why he’s a rookie at all. Embiid was already hurt when the Sixers drafted him with the third pick in 2014, and he continued to struggle with right foot...
Leicester City Are Having A Garbage Season
The fairy tale of last season was real. Leicester City—such a preposterously unlikely underdog that even the instinctive Cinderella comparison feels like a woefully insufficient metaphor for the sheer absurdity of a small, recently promoted club beating Manchester United and Chelsea and Arsenal and ...
Runner Foiled By Pole Vaulter's Giant Rubber Band
Aengus Meldon of the National University of Ireland Galway was caught in the final stretch of the 800-meter preliminary at the Irish University Indoor Championship on Friday, but not by another runner....
Italian Soccer Guy Scores Most Bellissimo Goal Of His Vita
Mamma mia! Here’s Perugia forward Francesco Nicastro serving up the spiciest of meatballs with this outrageous jumping, spinning, backheel volley in Italy’s Serie B:...
There's Another Cespedes And He's Got A Great Arm, Too
When the world first got a look at Yoenis Cespedes in his insane showcase video in 2011, Kevin Goldstein—then of Baseball Prospectus and now Director of Pro Scouting for the Astros—declared him “arguably the best all-around player to come out of Cuba in a generation.” Now, a second Cespedes will try...
Joel Embiid Is A Historically Good Rookie
Joel Embiid is the truth. Though The Process has yet to enjoy full, starter-type playing time—he’s on a 28-minute restriction to protect his health, and rides the bench for back-to-backs—he’s posting eyebrow-raising numbers in his 25.2 minutes per game. The flashiest figure might be his scoring per ...
Mike Francesa Interviews George Karl, Doesn't Seem To Know Who He Is
George Karl, an angry dumpling who wrote a book, is still still on a press tour so that he can sell more copies of a book in which he talks a lot of shit about his former players. Yesterday, Karl’s PR circuit hit Mike Francesa’s radio show, and things got extremely awkward....
Bike Stuck In Electric Fence Nearly Defeats Trio Of English Guys
“C’mon Paul, got your bike off that electric fence!” says a voice from behind the camera. For the next three minutes and 38 seconds, that is exactly what Paul (and his two friends) try to do....