ces Page 42 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
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Anti-Dakota Access Pipeline Protesters Hang Enormous Banner During Vikings Game [Updates]
Protesters calling for U.S. Bank to stop funding the Dakota Access Pipeline project hung a huge banner from the Vikings’ stadium during Minnesota’s game against the Bears today:...

Carrie Fisher Really Wanted You To Know She Hated The Metal Bikini
Carrie Fisher, who endured questions about a single costume from a single scene in a long career for over 30 years, had no qualms about making it clear that she hated that goddamned metal bikini you all got your rocks off to as horny teenage boys. Fisher died Tuesday at age 60 after suffering a hear...

N.C. Central Loses Celebration Bowl Thanks To Excessive Celebration Penalty
Grambling State won today’s Celebration Bowl 10-9 after a would-be tying touchdown had the extra point fouled up by an excessive celebration penalty....

Nerlens Noel On 76ers' Center Situation: "Need To Figure That Shit Out"
Three months ago, Nerlens Noel said that he had no idea how the Philadelphia 76ers were going to handle having three true centers on the roster. Now, he knows how they’re handling it—by playing him a whole lot less. And he’s pissed, as he told reporters after last night’s loss to the Los Angeles Lak...

These Ecstatic Little Leicester City Fans Are Painfully Adorable
Oh man, this is so freaking cute I almost feel like puking....

Sixers-Kings Game Cancelled After Philadelphia Stadium Sweats All Over Everything
The Sixers were supposed to tip off against the Kings at 7:07 tonight, but instead of some incompetent basketball, fans in Philly were treated to a bunch of dudes mopping a floor for 20 minutes. Officials decided to postpone the game shortly after, but didn’t make an announcement for an hour. The mo...

Mets Do Something Right, Reportedly Re-Sign Yoenis Céspedes
Congrats to all the Mets fans, whose fears of cheap, swindling management rightfully led them to believe that the hero of their 2015 season, Yoenis Céspedes, might not return to Flushing after exercising his one-year opt-out in late October....

A Psychologist Says She Is Quitting The VA Because Of Donald Trump
Last week, we published the thoughts of a wide variety of U.S. government employees about the prospect of working for a Donald Trump administration. Today, we hear from a VA psychologist who says she is planning to resign rather than work under Trump....

Some U.S. Soldiers Share Extremely Blunt Thoughts On Commander-In-Chief Donald Trump
Government employees have shared serious concerns about working under Donald Trump. None of them are more concerned than the active duty members of the U.S. military who wrote to us. ...

Government Employees On Trump: "Everything. Is. Fucked."
Across the federal government, career employees are reckoning with the prospect of working for a Donald Trump administration. Today, people from the CDC, NLRB, DOT, TSA, and other agencies speak very freely about their hopes and fears....

Government Employees Have A Lot Of Thoughts About Working For Donald Trump
It turns out that lots of federal government employees are ready to share their thoughts on what it is like staring down the prospect of working under a Donald J. Trump administration. ...

FYI: HBO Shows Are Not Real
It’s great to see people speaking out passionately for social justice. So it pains me to tell you that you’ve accidentally been directing that passion towards a world that is total fiction. ...

Report: Yoenis Cespedes To Opt Out Of His Mets Contract
Mets fans got a brief respite from seeing the squad hamstrung by its penny-pinching owners when the team signed Yoenis Cespedes to a three-year, $75 million deal last winter. There was a catch, though, in that the deal came with an opt-out clause after the first season. Now Jon Heyman is reporting t...

Joel Embiid Is Feeling Himself
Joel Embiid’s second defensive play in the NBA ended with him wrestling Steven Adams to the floor. Adams is a burly fucker with a nasty attitude, but the rookie went straight at him the first chance he got. On his first offensive possession, he immediately pulled up from three. He missed, just as he...

Joel Embiid Says He Learned To Shoot By Watching White People Online
Joel Embiid, who’ll make his NBA debut tonight, wants our attention, so badly. He seeks it in many ways: by guzzling Shirley Temples by the syrupy pitcher, by clowning on Andrew Wiggins, or by publicly asking out Rihanna. And we give it to him, maybe a little begrudgingly, because the content is goo...

Mike Francesa Sounds Pretty Flummoxed About Yankee Stadium's New Breast Pump Stations
Mike Francesa is skeptical of Yankee Stadium installing breast pump stations, because the stadium is a place for baseball, not nursing. Who knew the two were mutually exclusive. The best part of this video is the five seconds of silence at the end, after Francesa circles back to the breast pumps....

May Your Own Retirement Be So Peaceful
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!...

A Tortoise Raced A Hare
I won’t ruin this for you, in case you want to go grab a bud and place a bet on this....

Why Was NBC Scared Of The Trump Video?
Why was the Washington Post the first outlet to publish the now notorious video of Donald Trump saying horrific things to a braying Billy Bush? According to the Post, NBC, which owns Access Hollywood, had the video first, but delayed reporting on it because of a lengthy legal review:...

Dane Cook’s MLB Postseason Campaign Tortures My Memory Like An Unconfessed Murder<em></em>
With the MLB postseason comes high stakes, a tense and entertaining atmosphere, and some of the best talent in professional sports. And yet as I prepare for the best part of the baseball season, one slogan writhes around in my brain like a maggot and refuses to leave: There’s only one October....