ces Page 52 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Brian Matusz Second Pitcher This Week Ejected For "Foreign Substance"
Brian Matusz became the second pitcher this week to be ejected after a strategic challenge by an opposing manager after the Marlins accused the Orioles hurler of possessing a “foreign substance.”...

A Civilian's Guide To The U.S. Military
We Americans love a lot of things about ourselves, and perhaps nothing more so than our military. Like many things about the U.S., it’s bigger than its international equivalents, with a budget that is larger than the next eight largest military budgets in the world combined. It has a footprint in al...

Bored Dummy Cesc Fàbregas Kicks Ball Into West Brom Player's Head
C’mon, Cesc. If you’re gonna pick a fight with someone, you gotta get up in his face. Don’t sit back and kick the ball at him like a little turd. (That being said, good aim, though.)...

Gary Harris Gets Ankles Demolished By Crossover, Doesn't Quit Basketball
The Lakers played in Denver last night. By the fourth, they were losing by a zillion, which meant that both the Lakers’ Dwight Buycks and the Nuggets’ Gary Harris were matched up against each other. ...

What If <i>Game Of Thrones</i> Characters Were <i>Game Of Thrones </i>Characters?
The fifth season of Game of Thrones starts this Sunday. (Don't worry, you can catch up here.) In honor of the occasion, we thought we’d have a little fun and match up some major Game of Thrones characters with their counterparts on ... Game of Thrones....


Our Very Own Drew Magary Is A Contestant On <i>Chopped </i>Tonight
Longtime readers may recall that your friend and mine Drew Magary applied to be an amateur contestant on Chopped, the Food Network’s allegedly very popular cooking show, back in July 2012. Well, he made it on, and the episode airs tonight at 10 p.m. EST. (He is one of the four people to the left.) I...

NFLPA Re-Elects DeMaurice Smith As Executive Director, For Some Reason
The NFL Players Association re-elected incumbent Executive Director DeMaurice Smith early Monday morning. This year's election had swollen to nine candidates, many of whom were ridiculous and under-qualified, but there had been a growing sense that the players were increasingly unhappy with Smith an...

The NFLPA's Election For A New Leader Is A Ridiculous Clown Show
This Sunday, the National Football League Players Association will hold an election for Executive Director, a position held by DeMaurice Smith since being unanimously elected by active player reps in 2009. Including Smith, there are nine candidates for the position, which is about eight more than us...

Oblivious Fan Gets Walloped In The Face By The Basketball
It is not baseball where a foul-tipped fastball can smoke you in the face and do serious damage, but you've still got to pay attention when you're sitting in the first couple of rows at a basketball game, especially when Lance Stephenson is on the court. That's the lesson this woman learned when she...

What's Going On With This Tie, Patrick?
Patrick Willis officially announced his retirement today at a press conference, where he wept openly and cited scripture. Journalists gave him a standing ovation, which was weird. And for reasons that escape us, he also wore his tie as pictured above. ...

Angry Soccer Player Body Slams His Opponent
Worcester City's Shab Khan—they play in Conference North, the sixth tier of English soccer—objected to a foul from Stockport County's Charlie Russell, and decided that the proper way to express his displeasure was to body slam Russell. You'll be shocked to learn that Khan earned himself a red card. ...

Good Morning
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How To Be The Reluctant Guy At The Strip Club
So you're bound for a strip club against your will, because you've got to go to your brother's bachelor party with all his college friends, or your girlfriend is dragging you to check one out, or your boss thinks that's the best way to unwind during a business trip. You feel like a vegetarian at a s...

Champion Powerboat Racer Who Faked His Death Surrenders To Authorities
Andrew Biddle—the champion powerboat racer who authorities suspected of faking his own death in a boating accident—surrendered in Atlantic County Superior Court today. Biddle and a friend were supposedly in a boat that crashed into a buoy off of Longport (N.J.) last July. The friend swam to shore an...

Jamie Benn Apologizes To Sedins For Twincest Joke
Today in "headlines I never thought I'd write."...

Somebody Spoiled The <i>50 Shades</i> Ending For Billy Donovan
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Francesco Molinari Sinks Hole-In-One; Gallery Throws Beers To Celebrate
Italian golfer Francesco Molinari nailed a lovely hole-in-one on the par-3 16th hole in the third round of the Phoenix Open today, and the spectators celebrated by tossing beers everywhere. Rowdy golf is fun golf....

Screencap Classix: What Has Been Exclusively Seen Cannot Be Unseen
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Screencap Classix: We're All Disgusted
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