Champions League Page 30 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Pepe Getting A Gash In His Face Stapled Shut On The Pitch
Real Madrid defender Pepe got his face busted open during a Champions League match today. He then got the gash on his face stapled closed right there on the pitch. Click through for a wince-inducing GIF of the stapling....

Once Sad Posers, Arsenal Are Playing Like England's Best Team
Arsenal played Napoli yesterday in a vital Champions League match. It was important because they were drawn into the group of death in the most prestigious club tournament in the world, so of course any points they could pick up at home against last year's Italian runners-up would help them advance ...

Mario Balotelli Dives In The Box In 92nd Minute To Fuck Over Ajax
This is what getting dicked looks like....

Watch Marco Reus Score This Stupid Goal From Really, Really Far Away
This is so dumb....

Mesut Özil's First Goal For Arsenal Was Kind Of Amazing
We all know about Mesut Özil by now. The 24-year-old playmaker is the truth. From the moment he first took the pitch for Arsenal last month, he's been setting up goals for his teammates, even though he's been unable to find the net himself since moving from Real Madrid. But that finally changed toda...

José Mourinho Says He Isn't Worried About Chelsea. Maybe He Should Be.
Yesterday, Chelsea started their Champions League campaign by losing at home against Swiss champions FC Basel, 2-1. And that's OK....

Jürgen Klopp Is, Uh, Upset
FEEL THE RAGE. After Borussia Dortmund conceded a 29th-minute goal to Napoli's Gonzalo Higuaín, manager Jürgen Klopp took out his anger on the fourth official and was sent off....

The Champions League Group Of Death Is Just Hilarious
There are 32 teams left after the Champions League playoff round ended yesterday, and so today was the Champions League draw, where the teams were divided into eight groups of four for the group stage of the tournament. There will be plenty of analysis and explanation and bloviation around the inter...

Celtic Advance In Champions League On Late Goal, Avenge Murdered Sheep
Scottish soccer club Celtic were home to Kazakh side Shakhter Karagandy today in the second leg of the Champions League playoff round. After sacrificing a sheep, Shakhter beat Celtic 2-0 last week, and were the favorites to make it to the Champions League group stage. To advance on aggregate, Celtic...

Here's Arsenal's Laurent Koscielny Getting His Face Obliterated
This happened in the first half of Arsenal's Champions League playoff match away to Fenerbahçe. Fener forward Webó's strike caused the center back to collapse and bleed everywhere. He had to be subbed off. Yellow card....

Arsenal Are Well And Truly Fucked
Today, English club Arsenal are playing Turkish side Fenerbahçe in the first leg of the Champions League playoff round. The match comes four short days after the Gunners were beaten handily at home by Aston Villa, 3-1, in the first match of this Premier League season. And now, chaos....

Announcers Go Berserk When Real Sociedad Scores A True Team <em>Golazo</em>
Real Sociedad's Champions League bout against Lyon is turning out to be a true spectacle for the visiting side, after this astounding half-volley goal from range by Haris Seferović that was set up by a series of gorgeous passes on the throw-in....

Sad Dortmund Greeted By Peppy Flash Mob After Champions League Loss
Mere hours after a hard-fought, heartbreaking 2-1 loss in the Champions League final, a dejected Borussia Dortmund trudged to the airport for the miserable flight home. They just wanted to be left alone with their thoughts, and their regrets. That's when the beatboxer piped up....

Arjen Robben Carries FC Bayern To Champions League Glory
Bayern Munich just knocked off German rivals Borussia Dortmund, 2-1, in the Champions League final after Bayern winger Arjen Robben scored in the 89th minute to win the match. It was maybe the best possible end to an action-packed match that was open and free-flowing from the opening whistle. It was...

Now That's What I Call Saving Face
We're scoreless at the half. Let this be your open thread....

Europa League Champions Will Qualify For Champions League
UEFA general secretary Gianni Infantino announced yesterday that the winners of the Europa League will qualify for the Champions League starting in the 2015/2016 season. ...

Has German Soccer Conquered Europe? Not Quite
Originally published in Bloomberg View....

Chelsea, Arsenal Reach The Champions League As Spurs Suffer Heartbreak
The last day in the Premier League wasn't for the faint of heart. With 36 goals scored, today was the highest-scoring final match day ever. But while just about every other English side scored goal after goal, Chelsea, Arsenal and Tottenham were each entangled in nail-biters to see how their places ...

Franck Ribéry's Golazo For FC Bayern Basically Sums Up Their Season
This ridiculous goal comes from the final day of the Bundesliga season. Bayern Munich were playing Borussia Monchengladbach, and strangely, were getting their asses beaten for a hot second. ...
