children Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
20,000 Screaming Children Watch A Soccer Match
The last time AZ Alkmaar came to town, an Ajax fan attacked their keeper. AZ was pulled off the field, and the Dutch FA later declared the game a wash. Today was the replay, but due to the Netherlands' — and specifically's Ajax's — problems with ultras, the match was supposed to be played in an empt...
Maryland Student Gets In Trouble For Showing His Ball So Hard University Pride
It's hard to blame this 12-year-old from Bel Air, Md., for wearing his Ball So Hard University sweatshirt to school earlier this week. BSHU is one of the more prestigious research institutions in the country, and either the kid has a sibling who goes there, or hopes to attend himself, or is just a b...
Precocious And Horrifying Four-Year-Old Kills Two Deer With Shotgun
Ohio or Florida? Trick question; it's Virginia, one of the few states that doesn't have a minimum age for hunting. Little James Futrell, returns after winter break having grown up faster than his pre-kindergarten classmates. He has stalked the beast, and bathed in its blood....
Even At Kim Jong-Il's Funeral, A Yankee Fan
"You must wear a hat! We are in mourning for Dear Leader, so you must cover your head, and also you will catch cold. Go find your best hat; only the finest will do today. Something that screams luxury, but also power. Success and skill. Megalomania and a complete inability to feel empathy for anyo...
Parents: Mike Milbury Shook, Screamed At 12-Year-Old Player
Last Friday evening, two Boston-area youth hockey teams got together for their own Winter Classic, to be held outside at the Anderson Rink in Brookline. It was going to be a good time: an exhibition game between the Boch Blazers and the Boston Junior Blackhawks, followed by a family skate and a pizz...
Here's An Adorably Vicious Hockey Brawl With 9-Year-Olds
Making the rounds today is this pro-quality brawl between two Kazakhstani U10 teams. If the biased YouTube uploader is to be believed, it began after the winning Astana team (in white) kept trash talking during the handshake line. What's Kazakh for "I can't believe I shook this guy's frigging hand...
Kindergarteners Welcome New Jaguars Owner With Heartwarming Song, And One Kid's Wearing A "Make It Blaine On Them Hoes" Shirt
Here's Ms. Goleski's kindergarten class in Neptune Beach with their charming rendition of "Shahid Khan Is Coming To Town." Note the young man in back with this "Make It Blaine On Them Hoes" t-shirt, partially covered up by taped-on construction paper. Strong work, Ms. Goleski. [h/t John]...
Florida Mom Wants To Change The Name Of Her Child, Spurrier Urban Wiley
I want to reveal to you a big secret, that college football would rather not have you know: sometimes coaches don't stay with a single team forever, and sometimes they even take other jobs. Scandalous....
Six Weeks Ago, Penn State Dedicated The Gary Schultz Child Care Center
Addressing University Park's shortage of options for young children, Penn State opened an $11 million dollar child care facility over the summer. In early 2010 it was announced that the building would be named for the recently retired Gary Schultz. The same Schultz who is out on bail today, but was ...
"Hit 'Em In The Face As Hard As You Can," Then Pray: Pee-Wee Coach Shows Why Football Won't Be Getting Less Violent
A reader sent in this video of a Texas U6 team getting a pep talk from its coach before a game. He exhorts the Frisco Gators to push hard, be tough, and "hit 'em in the face as hard as you can." (One of his kids corrects him—"in the chest"—to nervous laughter from parents.) But before the face- or...
Missouri Western Footballers Save Baby's Life, Doom Baby To Life Of Missouri Western Fandom
With 17-month-old Liam Snook accidentally locked inside a hot car, vomiting and starting to pass out, it fell on two Missouri Western State D-backs who were just passing by to rescue the kid. They broke the window, got him out, and gave the family tickets to a game. Parents, please heed this warni...
11-Year-Old Does Not Get $50,000 For Impossible Shot Hockey Shot, But Gets Next Best Thing: Nothing
We once again check in with Nick and Nate Smith, the young twins who won a raffle to take a shot from center ice for $50,000. Nick's name was drawn; Nate took the shot. Almost immediately it became clear that the insurance company didn't want to pay out, and today it's official....
11-Year-Old Makes Impossible Hockey Shot, May Get Screwed Out Of $50,000
Little Nick and Nate Smith learned two valuable lessons about life. First, sometimes miracles do happen. From 89 feet out, Nate put a 3-inch hockey puck into a 3½-inch slot. But Nate also learned that insurance companies are the devil, and they will fuck you over, just bend you right over the dash...
Cubs Fan Catches Foul Ball, Does Not Drop Baby
It's that time of year again, when dads somehow simultaneously shirk and embrace parental responsibility by catching foul balls with babes in arms. Last night in Chicago, a Cubs fan managed to juggle his infant to his left arm and grab a foul ball with his right....
More Foul Ball Benevolence In The NL West
This is in the same vein as the Diamondbacks kid warming all our hearts, but with a twist. On first glance, the boy in the Giants jersey catches a foul ball in the glove, then hands it over to the guy in front of him. But apparently the fellow in red had caught a ball earlier in the game and given...
What Jock Culture Does To Pukes Like You
The following piece originally ran in The Nation's sports issue, on newsstands now....
The Winless, Scoreless Wonders Of Margatania FC
We're internet users too. We know setting aside ten minutes to watch something requires extraordinary circumstances, but these are about as extraordinary as they come. Please find the time, whether it be right now or later on, to watch "L'equip Petit," a short film about an under-7 team from a sma...
Tony La Russa's Tortured, Petulant Justification For Plunking Ryan Braun, As Read By A 4-Year-Old Boy
You can watch Tony La Russa try and fail to justify himself — he cycles through logical fallacies as if they were middle relievers in a 5-4 ballgame against the Reds — or you can watch young Mack Scocca-Ho capture the essence of La Russa's monologue in the video above....
11-Year-Old Is The Best Broadcaster The Mets Have Ever Had
Young Jacob Resnick got to call Jose Reyes' first-pitch home run last night (and stick around for the eventual Mets meltdown). He won an essay contest and an audition, and we see why he won. He's genuinely excited by the game he's calling, a trait all-too-often absent in our current crop of commenta...
The Preventable Annual Tradition Of High School Football Deaths
It's that time of year again: when America's high schoolers start dropping dead during football practice. It's become so regular and so common that we can't do anything but shake our heads and move on, as if this is an acceptable rite of passage for youth football as a whole. But these are actual ki...