chris Page 87 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The SEC Network Yule Log Is Our Nation's Greatest Contribution To Avant-Garde Cinema
My family only has a few Christmas traditions, among them cinnamon rolls, trips to the dog park, bike rides, and yard work. But the most important tradition—one that gets us up early on Christmas morning—is the SEC Network Yule Log, which is just like other yule log broadcasts except that the orches...
Kyrie Irving, On Christmas, The Holiday: Christmas Isn't Necessarily A Holiday
Kyrie Irving is a man of many strange and poorly constructed takes, and he has never been shy about launching these dizzying takes into the public consciousness. Christmas, you may have heard, is Monday. Here is Kyrie Irving, on Christmas, a holiday celebrated the world over:...
Eggnog's Better In A Cup Than On A Carpet
‘Tis the season to get messy....
The Actual Night Before Christmas<em></em>
‘Twas the night before ChristmasAnd all through the house…Not a damn thing was ready....
The Penguins Do <i>A Christmas Story</i>
Every year, the Pittsburgh Penguins put out their own version of a holiday classic. This year it’s A Christmas Story, and I hadn’t realized this until now but the holiday season can’t officially begin until you’ve seen Kris Letang admiring himself in a bunny suit while Phil Kessel moans, “He looks l...
Do We Grow Out Of Going Home For The Holidays?
This year on Christmas morning, we four adult children will emerge from our various haphazard sleeping situations, my sister and I from the double bed we traditionally share, and my brothers from their makeshift beds in the unfinished basement, or perhaps one of them will have fallen asleep on the c...
Please Enjoy "The Joy Of Christmas," The Greatest, Goofiest Christmas Album Ever Made
Tastefulness. It has no place when celebrating the holiday season, but some people just can’t fucking help themselves. Look at this Spotify playlist:...
The Only Solution To The Chris Froome Problem Is The One Cycling Will Never Accept
If most casual sports fans know anything about professional road cycling that extends beyond the orbit of Lance Armstrong, it’s that a bunch of the people who were in line to receive his seven tainted Tour de France titles also tested positive for performance enhancing drugs. Cycling’s reputation an...
Could Santa Claus Defeat Godzilla?<em></em>
I got more Star Wars takes before we get into your letters. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna spoil anything, but I watched The Force Awakens a couple times after seeing the new movie and the difference in dialogue is night and day, man. Everyone in TFA had better lines than they do in The Last Jedi. Take ...
Christian Yelich And J.T. Realmuto Are Fed Up With The Marlins
The Miami Marlins spent the last two weeks trading most of their players worth a shit elsewhere, and now, the rest of their players who are worth a shit are reportedly unhappy with the team’s management....
Austrian Hockey Fight Breaks Out During Intermission Interview
Tom Zanoski of Medveščak Zagreb in the Austrian Hockey League really didn’t want to talk about how that first period went. Or, anyway, he didn’t want to do it as much as he wanted to start throwing punches. Despite a TV reporter politely tapping Zanoski on the shoulder during the first intermission ...
America's Wonderteen Delivers 89th-Minute Match-Winner For Dortmund
Borussia Dortmund claimed a 2-1 win over Hoffenheim today when Christian Pulisic juggled his way past Oliver Baumann in the 89th minute to score yet another game-winner for his side, keeping them in third place in the Bundesliga....
Jets Offensive Coordinator Admits He Gave Up Against Broncos
Okay, so the Jets’ offense didn’t turn out to be historically awful this season, as I said it had a chance to be. Shoot me. Hell, the Jets even have five wins, which is ... something, I guess. But it still took a grand total of 13 games for their offensive coordinator to cop to saying, Fuck it, let’...
Chris Paul Is Having Fun And The Rockets Are Destroying Everyone<em></em>
As the Oklahoma City Thunder’s continued stay in the toilet has reminded NBA fans, the winning and losing of basketball games is about more than assembling the maximum possible amount of sheer talent. The Thunder were projected to be juggernauts in the Western Conference despite a hastily assembled ...
Chris Gatling Sentenced To 2.5 Years In Prison For Fraud
Two years ago, former NBA All-Star Chris Gatling was charged with fraud, aggravated identity theft, and forgery. He was accused of running a network of online businesses that illegally charged people’s credit cards without them knowing about it. Yesterday, he was sentenced to 2.5 years in prison aft...
Chris Froome Fails Doping Test
Three-time defending Tour de France champion Chris Froome failed a doping test at the Vuelta a España this September and is facing a potential year-long suspension from cycling, as the Guardian first reported today. Froome, the most dominant cyclist of the past decade and the winner of four Tours an...
Marlins Continue Begging Other Teams To Rob Their Clubhouse
Time for some wholly unsurprising news! The Marlins front office’s brazen salary dump is continuing apace. Days after trading Giancarlo Stanton to the Yankees in exchange for a handful of trampled sunflower seed husks and one (1) cup of moist infield dirt, they’re now reportedly shifting their focus...
Enjoy This Lovely Christmas Moment
Last weekend, Santa made a preseason appearance at the Tampa Bay Beach Bums Operation Santa Charity Volleyball Tournament to deliver a toy to a very lucky nine-year-old. He opted not to use a sleigh, instead skydiving into the beach but before that into a tree and a lightpole....
Skins' Chris Thompson Out For Season After Suffering Gruesome Broken Leg
In the third quarter of today’s Skins-Saints tilt in New Orleans, Washington running back Chris Thompson was engaged blocking on a Kirk Cousins run when Saints defensive lineman Sheldon Rankins rolled into his leg from behind, causing it to bend in ways human legs are not meant to bend:...
James Harden Thought He Broke The Scoreboard
Ever see a team score 142 points in a game in which they stopped really trying after halftime? Rockets over Suns was a good, old-fashioned blowout, notable and enjoyable for the sheer ludicrousness of the thing....