closer Page 21 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Wait A Minute, Wait A Minute ... Stop The Execution!
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....
If You Kids Scuff That Floor, Tuition Shall Be Raised
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming The Floor....
NBA Closer: The Dr. Cox Edition
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks most people are bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. When he's not busy hating the whole goddamn world, he can be found discussing the best of the worst of professional basketball at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • Sweetheart, I find it...
Yet Another Case Of The Mondays
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who generally shows up to work about 15 minutes late (he uses the side door so his boss doesn't see him). After that, he just sort of spaces out for an hour. Yeah, he just stares at his desk, but it looks like he's working. He does that for probably another ...
24 Stanley Cups, 1 Rookie Purse-Snatcher
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....
Chris Lowery's Nose Itches
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming The Floor....
Remembering ManU, Then And Now
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Slashed Throats And Beer Wenches
Since tedious analysis is the stuff of "power rankings," each Monday NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski uses a form of universal expression: Success in terms of beer. Before we get to more grizzly Richard Zednik sliced jugular news, welcome to The Brewmeister Ratings......
Blacked Out Home Game
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming The Floor....
Brandon Bass Whacks Vince Carter, World Rejoices
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, a former college intramural freethrow shooting champion...25-for-25 baby! When he's not perfecting his stroke from the line - no double-entendre intended, as far as you know - he can be found studying the science of freethrowology at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • ...
Rock Out With Your Shuttlecock Out
Nobody knows what it's like to be Wong Choong Han: The nationally ranked shuttler is feeling a little pressure to succeed in upcoming natoinal play. Wong, in a rare moment of self-reflection, realizes that if he doesn't get his shit together before the German Open, his top-three status in the Badmin...
And The Wind Cried St. Mary's
Take that, teabaggers: St. Mary's proved its Top 25 mettle by jizz-bombing the San Francisco Fightin' Whatevertheyarecalleds, 76-51. Yusef Smith scored 15 points off the bench for St. Mary's. Eddie Sutton apparently had an accident on the sidelines and is still trying to adjust to a more provincial ...
I Puck Like A Beast, Too
No Mighty needed: Ducks over Devils, 2-1. Scott Niedermayer returned to the Jerz and promptly made a mockery of his old team. Devils fans welcomed back one of their own with a chorus of boos. Niedermayer, unfazed: "In some ways you take that as a bit of a compliment.Obviously they didn't want you to...
Fisting Kurtis Blow In The Name Of Science
Leon Powe is there to make big shots: Ray Allen is still pissed about that non-call even though the Celtics scored a last-second victory over the determined Minnesota Timberwolves, 88-86 . The Celtics prevailed and overcame the emotional uplift Kevin Garnett's presence in a suit and tie gave to the ...
When Convicted Jersey Bookies Play The Victim
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....
Coaches Should Use The "Meatballs" Speech
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming The Floor....
Angry Shaq's Death Toll Currently Stands At One Shark, Maybe Shawn Bradley
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who once attended a Sports and Literature class with Brian Cardinal but still doesn't know whether Cardinal can actually read. When he's not bidding on game-used Kwame Brown NBA logos - listed as very rare!! - he can be found hiding from Shaq at Basketbawful...
Where Have All The Devious Psycho Goalies Gone?
The NHL Closer is written by Greg Wyshynski, of FanHouse and The Fourth Period. He is also the author of Glow Pucks And 10-Cent Beer....
The Audacity Of Hoop
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming The Floor....
Lakers Lose?! Inconceivable!
Hello, my name is Matt McHale. You killed my father. Prepare to die! (P.S. When I'm not preparing to kill you, I can be found practicing swordplay at Basketbawful.) • You just wiggled your finger. That's wonderful! The following is an actual quote from the Associated Press: "With the game on the li...