colorado Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What Is John Elway Talking About In This Inane Political Ad?
As a general rule, vague political advertisements are vague for a reason. Everything is broken and sinking and extremely on fire, but we’re not yet at the level of Shitworld where unpopular and unappealing ideas can effectively be presented as themselves and on their own merits. We are heading in th...
The Rockies' Playoff Run Was A Four-Game Whimper
If anyone thought that the Colorado Rockies’ extra-innings victory in the wild-card game portended more exciting playoff action to come, those people were dead wrong. All that was true about that 2-1 win against the Cubs remained true throughout Colorado’s three-game sweep at the hands of the Milwau...
Adam Ottavino Overthought It
During the regular season, Rockies reliever Adam Ottavino worked 36 at-bats to an 0-2 count. Hitters went 0-36 against him in those situations, and 31 of them ended up as strikeout victims. It’s hard to understand, then, how this happened:...
Brewers' Big Name Acquisitions Come Through In Game 1 Walk-Off Win
The Brewers got nine innings of excellent pitching in a 10-inning game, and won on a walk-off single in extras from Mike Moustakas, to grab Game 1 of their NLDS matchup with the Colorado Rockies....
Jon Gray's Strange Season Looks To Have Reached A Depressing End
Back in April of 2017, Rockies pitcher Jon Gray was the team’s Opening Day starter, and seemed destined to become the franchise’s future ace. Today, it was announced that he has been left off the Rockies’ NLDS roster....
The Hater's Guide To The MLB Playoffs
The baseball season gets much stranger as it narrows down in October, which is not a novel observation but is one that is already proving itself out. Before we even recorded this week’s Deadcast, a Wild Card game had been decided in the dead of night on a hit by a backup catcher who was one of the ...
Kyle Freeland Is A New Kind Of Rockies Pitcher
By the time last night’s interminable NL wild card game was over, your memories of the contributions made by Rockies starting pitcher Kyle Freeland, a second-year player throwing on three days rest, may have understandably faded. A quick refresher: 6.2 innings, four hits, one walk, six strikeouts, a...
Brave Rock Men Thwart Pesky Bear Children In NL Wild Card Slog
Some might remember Tuesday’s NL Wild Card game as classic, cagey postseason baseball. Others may describe it as a painfully slow and annoyingly long slog that lost all of its charm the very moment the ninth inning ended without one team ahead of the other. The luckiest among us will remember it as ...
Javier Baez And Nolan Arenado Share Warm Hug During Live Baseball Play
The Cubs and Rockies refuse to settle this goddamn National League Wild Card game, which is now in the 13th inning. The Cubs had a good chance to end it in the bottom of the 11th, after Javy Baez advanced to second on a sacrifice bunt and the Rock men elected to intentionally walk Daniel Murphy with...
Nobody Could Break The Division Ties On MLB's Final Day<em></em>
All four NL teams who needed to win won on the final day of the MLB season, as the Dodgers, Rockies, Cubs, and Brewers all kept their hopes of a division title alive. Their victories set up what will be a wild prelude to the NLDS, with only the Atlanta Braves assured of their spot so far....
German Marquez Struck Out The First Eight Clowns He Saw
I don’t want to alarm anyone, but the following two things are true: The Colorado Rockies currently have a half-game lead in the NL West, and it’s largely because, for the first time ever, really, they have good starting pitching. One of those starters is German Marquez, and he was really damn good ...
Chip The Buffalo Destroyed His Dick And Balls With A T-Shirt Cannon<em></em>
No point in keeping you waiting for this one—on Saturday, Chip the Buffalo, Colorado’s sideline mascot, blasted his dick and balls with damn t-shirt cannon and by the grace of God, someone had their phone out to film the vicious neutering of what was once a happy-go-lucky creature....
Colorado Sports Fan's Plan To Rob Vape Store Falls Apart After He Drops Gun And Pants
This guy here, by appearances an avid Broncos and Rockies fan, spectacularly failed to rob an E-Cig of Denver store in Colorado on Sept. 2. Fumbling his gun over the counter was a bad start, and failing to secure his pants was a bad follow-up, although he did redeem himself somewhat with a super coo...
Trevor Story Hit The Ball A Quarter-Mile
The NL West is good as hell right now. The Rockies won 5-3 and swept the Giants and are now 1.5 games up on the Dodgers and two on the D-Backs. But you’re not here for that divisional intrigue, are you? That’s not what you were promised, and that’s not why you clicked. You, my like-minded friend, ar...
Olympic Champion Swimmer Uses Dogsitter, Comes Home To Find Two Shirtless Guys On Couch With Lube And Camera
Former Olympic swimmer and two-time gold medalist Klete Keller used the app Wag to find a dogsitter, and very much regretted it when he came home to find two shirtless men on his couch with “personal lubricant” and a camera....
Hustlin'-Ass Cardinals Plate Two On Two-Out Infield Chopper
It sickens me to acknowledge this, but the dreaded Cardinals made a very cool play in today’s game in Colorado. They loaded the bases with two down in the top of the first inning against Rockies starter Tyler Anderson, with Austin Gomber at the plate, and the speedy young Harrison Bader at second ba...
The Rockies' Bullpen Needs To Get Its Shit Together
The Colorado Rockies had a chance at a signature win Thursday night against the division-leading Dodgers. Instead they got a signature loss, or at least lost in the same way they’ve lost all year. At home versus their division rivals in a crucial series, Chris Iannetta smacked a go-ahead three-run h...
That Wacky Astros Four-Man Outfield Shift Is Spreading
The defensive shift is having a moment. It’s of course being used more than ever, and now even by certain crotchety types who’d previously resisted it. Royals manager Ned Yost, for example, is skeptical of statistics that support use of the shift, and in fact is vocally in favor of the shift being b...
Pair Of Port-A-Potties Departs This Earthly Plane
And now, the latest news from the Denver metro area: a portable toilet went to go meet the Sky Gods. It paid tribute to its former home on Earth by spraying a fine mist of odious liquid into the windy summer air....
Reds And Rockies Decide To Suck All At Once
Baseball presents its players with infinite ways in which to humiliate themselves, and they often do. But rare is the occasion on which we are given the tasty treat of multiple baseball players embarrassing themselves on the very same play. Take it away, Reds and Rockies:...