Cristiano Ronaldo Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Gareth Bale's Loud-Mouth Agent Might Have Talked Himself Out Of A Job
Earlier this week, Gareth Bale’s agent, Jonathan Barnett, proclaimed in an interview that Bale and Cristiano Ronaldo don’t hate each other. Rather than assuaging the situation, it appears that all the agent succeeded at was getting Bale to hate him....
Cristiano Ronaldo Isn't The Greatest Player Alive, And That's Insane
Real Madrid’s Cristiano Ronaldo won Europe’s Golden Shoe yesterday, which recognizes the top scorer across the continent’s top leagues. It’s the fourth time he’s won the award, and it comes after last season, when he scored 48 goals in 35 La Liga games. No one else in the history of the award has wo...
Agent: Gareth Bale And Ronaldo Don't Hate Each Other (They Totally Do)
It’s long been understood that playing with Cristiano Ronaldo is not the easiest of tasks. He is a singular talent that thrives on a team built with the specific objective of facilitating him. As driven an athlete as you’ll ever find, he focuses only on winning—and to him, the path to winning starts...
Cristiano Ronaldo Scores Five Goals In Destruction Of Espanyol
Espanyol isn’t a horrible La Liga side, exactly, but they struggled immensely today in a home bout against Real Madrid as Los Periquitos conceded six goals, five of them to Cristiano Ronaldo....
Here Are Some Athletes You Should Bone Instead Of Cristiano Ronaldo
The consensus view is that Portuguese soccer mega-star Cristiano Ronaldo, currently being a weird brand robot in Japan, is not just a good-looking and sexy athlete, but perhaps the best-looking, the sexiest male athlete. But nah. His facial features are too small, his eyebrows too sculpted, his chin...
Cristiano Ronaldo Has A Great Time Getting Felt Up On Japanese TV
They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Apparently the aphorism applies a little differently to cyborgs. New evidence shows that a finger or five on Cristiano Ronaldo’s laser-cut abs turns him into a giggling schoolborg who will love you forever....
Ronaldo Shills Bullshit Workout Contraption In Ridiculous Commercial
I’m not saying Cristiano Ronaldo is a cyborg, and if he is he’s probably a benevolent one, but if this wild commercial for some weird, obviously scammy Japanese “exercise gear” isn’t really a behind-the-scenes look at Ronaldo’s morning boot-up process, I’ll buy this stuff and have a six pack in no t...
Ronaldo Returns Lost Phone, Treats Owner And Her Friends To A Night Out
Cristiano Ronaldo is famous for his many, many goals and the selfish way he goes about scoring them. However, the forward is apparently more than willing to lend a helping hand to a random stranger in Las Vegas, finding a woman’s phone, returning it to her, and taking her and her friends on a night ...
Cristiano Ronaldo Scoffs At Championship, Exults In His Own Ronaldoness
For pretty much everyone involved or invested in La Liga, the biggest opportunity on offer during yesterday’s penultimate match day of the season was, seemingly, for Barcelona to wrap up the league title by beating Atlético. Cristiano Ronaldo, though, had his eyes on a larger prize. While Barcelona ...
"Astonishing Astrophysics!" Ronaldo Scores Bouncing Free Kick Goal
Cristiano Ronaldo put Real Madrid up 1-0 on Eibar today with this knuckler of a free kick that left the keeper totally, in Ray Hudson’s words, “bamboozled.” His whole call is, as usual, a gem:...
Cristiano Ronaldo Shills Underwear With His Dong
Fresh off a couple great performances for Real Madrid, Cristiano Ronaldo posted a new picture of himself stumping for his underwear line, prominently featuring his favorite teammate. Here’s the full photo of his crotch in all its glory:...
The Time 9/11 Happened During Cristiano Ronaldo's First TV Interview
Hey, Ronaldo's first televised interview! What a skinny little lad he was! Just chatting away with a buddy on the subway! And what teeth! Nice little pad there, Ronny! Bet you played that PS2 a lot, huh! Oh, to just be watching the boob tube with the...uh, is that an airplane crashing into the World...
Lionel Messi And Cristiano Ronaldo Find Their Final Forms
For a depressingly large group of actuarial soccer fans, this season's thrilling edition of the duel between temporally and cosmically entwined superstars Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi has mainly served as another set of cudgels to club down the other's reputation and legacy. Go deeper, becau...
Cristiano Ronaldo Reminds Us Why He's So Likable
In a weekend that saw Lionel Messi overtake Cristiano Ronaldo as the Spanish league's top scorer this season, Ronaldo can rest easy knowing his Argentine rival isn't likely to catch up to another one of his records: that of world's most-liked Facebook page. What makes him so beloved? Well, besides t...
Cristiano Ronaldo's Forehead Saved Real Madrid's Ass
Ugh. Uggggghhhhhhhh. Just when we looked so close to seeing this shaky Real Madrid team gag up their 2-0 first leg lead in the Champions League to Schalke, of all teams, up sprang that leaping salmon Cristiano Ronaldo to save the day....
Cristiano Ronaldo Sings, Drops It Like It's Hot At Birthday Party
Real Madrid’s crushing defeat at the hands of rivals Atlético almost put a damper on that night’s previously scheduled party in celebration of Cristiano Ronaldo turning 30. Almost. Instead of feeling too down, Cristiano decided to sing and boogie the night away. Here’s a GIF of his best move from th...
Cristiano Ronaldo Sent Off For Kicking, Slapping Dudes
The world's top soccer player earned a straight red today at Córdoba after the referee caught him kicking and later slapping opponents late in Real Madrid's La Liga match....
Cristiano Ronaldo, A Decent Soccer Player, Wins FIFA Player Of The Year
Today, Real Madrid's Cristiano Ronaldo was awarded the 2014 FIFA Ballon d'Or. It's the second year in a row he's been named FIFA's best player, and the third time in his career. The Portuguese winger beat out Argentina's Lionel Messi, German keeper Manuel Neuer, and a bunch of other guys who had no ...
Cristiano Ronaldo Statue Features A Big Ol' Bulging Dick
Cristiano Ronaldo is, quite deservedly, an icon in his hometown of Funchal, Madeira, Portugal—so much so that he has a museum dedicated in his honor. This weekend, Ronaldo was on hand to witness the unveiling of a new statue made in his image. What can we say? The statue is sporting a huge erection....