Cristiano Ronaldo Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![Cristiano Ronaldo Ignites Real Madrid's Comeback With 2 Goals In 2 Minutes [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/fv3c1owkjdcnkzu0jn3e.gif)
Cristiano Ronaldo Ignites Real Madrid's Comeback With 2 Goals In 2 Minutes [Updated]
Now we’ve got a game! After their shocking 2-0 loss against Wolfsburg last week, it looked like Real Madrid were on the cusp of blowing a great chance to make it into the Champions League semifinals. Then today’s game came, and Cristiano Ronaldo showed up, and everything has changed....
A First-Person View Of A Cristiano Ronaldo Penalty Kick To The Face
Sarah Arcand had damned good seats for last week’s Real Madrid 4-0 win over Sevilla. A little too good. When Ronaldo sailed a penalty kick high, she managed to get her camera out of the way, but not her face....
Police: Ronaldo Vs. Messi Debate Ends With One Guy Killing His Buddy With Shard Of Glass
The incessant arguing about whether Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi is the better player is dumb, misses the point, and is played out. Even worse than getting drawn into said argument in the first place is taking it so seriously that you kill a friend of yours, which is apparently what happened to...
Cristiano Ronaldo Starts Hat Trick With Pair Of Brilliant Goals
Cristiano Ronaldo shook? Not if today’s appearance against Celta is any sign, as the Real Madrid hero earned a hat trick by the 64th minute after a trio of stunning second-half goals. The first came on a screamer in open play, and the second on a vintage Ronaldo free kick....
Atlético Madrid Have Cristiano Ronaldo Shook
Atlético Madrid beat their crosstown rivals Real Madrid in the league at the Santiago Bernabéu today thanks to Antoine Griezmann’s nifty little goal. Ronaldo missed a similar shot right before Griezmann nailed his chance, and Atlético’s fearsome defense held their rivals scoreless. Today, Atlético b...
It's Been A Rough Day, So Come Look At This Cristiano Ronaldo Golazo
Real Madrid visited Italian side AS Roma today in the first leg of their Champions League Round of 16 tie and beat the home side, 2-0. The first goal was a dang thunderbastard from Cristiano Ronaldo. You should see it. You deserve to see it. Here it is:...
Cristiano Ronaldo Has Some Thoughts On Soccer, Friendship, And Trick Penalty Kicks
Barcelona did something really fun and cool last weekend. Well, they did many fun and cool things, but the most memorable and somewhat controversial thing was Lionel Messi’s penalty fake-out. So when Cristiano Ronaldo took the podium today ahead of Real Madrid’s Champions League match tomorrow, it w...
Can Cristiano Ronaldo Dunk?
So a couple hours ago, Cristiano Ronaldo—who is one of the greatest players in the history of the game of soccer because he is also one of the most physically dominant athletes of all time in any sport anywhere—posted a photo of himself dunking a soccer ball on a basketball hoop. My colleagues, a de...
Yawn, Another Ronaldo Hat Trick
Ho hum. Cristiano Ronaldo and Real played Espanyol (who are two points above the relegation zone) at the Bernabéu, and would you believe it, they kicked the shit out of them. Ronaldo had a hat trick and James was pinging in dangerous balls over the top all game. Here’s the best Ronaldo goal....
Real Madrid Are Still Humping The Story That Ronaldo Cost More Than Bale
Of all of Cristiano Ronaldo’s various behavioral quirks, which have brought us so many laughs over the years, one of the funniest and most puzzling is his curious attachment to being the most expensive player alive. When he first came to Real Madrid, the club paid what was then a world record transf...
Cristiano Ronaldo Should Probably Stop Hitting People
Hey, Cristiano, how’s it going? Good? That’s good to hear. I didn’t want anything, just checking in. Saw yesterday’s game. Kind of a bummer, drawing like that against Real Betis. Yeah, they should’ve given you a penalty, I agree. While on the topic of the game though, what happened with you and Fran...
Cristiano Ronaldo Deftly Controls His Balls
Cristiano Ronaldo, cover boy of the latest edition of GQ, can be seen in the video above simultaneously engaging in all of his great loves in life: playing with a soccer ball, wearing as little clothing as possible, shilling for a product, and having all of it recorded by the loving eye of the camer...
Cristiano Ronaldo's Sister Wants To Exile The People Who Vandalized Her Brother's Statue To Syria
The enormous, bronze, big-dicked statue that stands in honor of Cristiano Ronaldo in his home town was vandalized Monday, as some rascals painted Lionel Messi’s name on its back. Ronaldo’s sister had some very, very, very strong words for the culprits....
Ballon d’Or Voting Is Full Of Bizarre Ballots
This is how democracy works. You give the right to vote to a large swath of people of varying ages, expertise levels, and motivations, add up their collective responses, and hope to come out with a good result. Today’s Ballon d’Or award ceremony, where Lionel Messi won the thing for the fifth time o...
Reporter: I Was Told Not To Write About Gareth Bale's Transfer Fee Because It Would Annoy Ronaldo
Gareth Bale and Cristiano Ronaldo are superstar teammates for Real Madrid. They both cost a whole bunch of money to buy. Bale cost a little bit more. Ronaldo does not like being reminded of this. Here’s proof:...
Europa League Team Thinks It Can Buy Cristiano Ronaldo, Neymar, And Gareth Bale
Oh, Manchester United. Haven’t we been over this already?...
Cristiano Ronaldo's Movie Premiere Was Perfectly Sad
Early on in his review of the new movie/vanity project documenting a year in the life of Cristiano Ronaldo, Daniel Taylor noted “it is difficult not to come away with the feeling that Ronaldo must shout his own name during sex.”...
French Media Calls In Body Language Expert To Divine Ronaldo's Secret Intentions
Every couple years, the European media works itself into a bubbly froth about Cristiano Ronaldo’s future. We’re now in the thick of yet another foamy period, and perhaps because his departure might actually be imminent this time, the papers are going to absurd lengths to search for clues....
Report: Martin Scorsese Drops Cristiano Ronaldo From New Movie
Last month, Martin Scorsese reportedly cast Cristiano Ronaldo in his upcoming movie, The Manipulator, which is apparently about mega-rich Italian real estate agent Alessandro Proto. The Italian has claimed that he is, in fact, the inspiration for the titular Christian Grey of “Fifty Shades Of Grey.”...
Cristiano Ronaldo's Son Trolls His Grandma With Questions About Messi
Noted Lionel Messi superfan Cristiano Ronaldo Jr. got in some good digs on his superstar dad’s mom recently. While attending daddy Ronaldo’s award ceremony for his fourth Golden Boot, the little kid had some timely questions about Messi’s Balon d’Or collection. Granny was none too interested....