Crystal Palace - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
F.A. Panel Says Wayne Hennessey Is Too Stupid To Have Done Nazi Salute
No one could have been more delighted to hear that Crystal Palace goalkeeper Wayne Hennessey is apparently a huge idiot than Wayne Hennessey himself. That’s because the F.A. panel tasked with investigating a photo in which the Welsh keeper appeared to have been making a Nazi salute gesture cited tha...
Mamadou Sakho Is Crystal Palace's Dap Master
This video, in which Crystal Palace defender Mamadou Sakho walks around the team cafeteria casually rattling off a series of intricate and unique handshakes with eight different teammates, could only be improved if at the end manager Roy Hodgson walked up and the two pulled off the most complex one ...
Soccer Player Says It Only Looks Like He Did Nazi Salute Because Of Some Unbelievable Circumstances
Crystal Palace goalkeeper Wayne Hennessey is taking heat because of a group photo taken this weekend that appears to show him doing a Nazi salute in the background. More ridiculous than the logic used to try that gesture for a picture is Hennessey’s explanation for why it’s actually just a coinciden...
Crystal Palace's Training Ground Kitchen Given Zero-Star Food Hygiene Rating After Mouse Infestation
The United Kingdom’s Food Standard Agency revealed that a training facility kitchen belonging to Premier League club Crystal Palace received a food hygiene rating of 0 out of a possible five. The agency’s website notes that the score means that “urgent improvement is required” in areas like food han...
Crystal Palace Penalty <i>Almost </i>Ends Man City's Unbeaten Run
Crystal Palace ended Manchester City’s 18-match Premier League win streak today at Selhurst Park, but they could have had so much more than just the draw they came away with. After surviving 90 minutes at 0-0, Palace’s Wilfried Zaha went down in the box on a foul by Raheem Sterling, giving the 17th ...
Jack Wilshere Is Still Alive And Still Capable Of Hitting Beautiful Passes
Today, geriatric 25-year-old Jack Wilshere managed to avoid doing a few typical Jack Wilshere things (like getting sent off for a dumb tackle or injuring himself while charging into a dumb tackle or serving a suspension for a previous sending off in the aftermath of a dumb tackle) just long enough t...
Wilfried Zaha Has Finally Arrived
Wilfried Zaha was supposed to hit the big time five years ago. At 20 years old, the Crystal Palace striker had already racked up over 100 appearances in the English second tier, and he caught the eye of Manchester United. In 2013, the Red Devils signed him for a reported 10 million pounds....
The English Premier League Is Dumb And Ruthless
Proud Americans were disappointed last season when Bob Bradley—the coach we hoped would be the Christian Pulisic of American managers, but turned out more like the coaching game’s Julian Green—was unceremoniously ousted from his coaching position at Swansea City after only 11 matches in charge. So C...
Crystal Palace Fans Serenade Lame Duck Arsenal Boss, Beg Him To Stay With His Team<em></em>
Seven points behind fourth place (albeit with two games in hand), Arsenal really needed to win away at Crystal Palace today. Instead Andros Townsend scored a squibber, Yohan Cabaye knocked in a banger, and third-choice goalkeeper Emiliano Martinez pulled down Townsend in the box, leading to a Luka M...
Sam Allardyce Pissed Off At Watford's Mascot For Making Fun Of Player's Dive
When Sam Allardyce, fresh off bullshitting his way out of the England job, returned from his brief absence to the Premier League with Crystal Palace last week, we knew we were in store for a few things: hard-fought, defensively sound wins, Palace’s safety from relegation, and a handful of absurd pub...
Reports: BIG SAM BACK
Sky Sports and the BBC are reporting that the inevitable will soon be made official: Crystal Palace, a single day after canning Alan Pardew, will appoint former England manager (that really happened, right?) and relegation zone escape artist Sam Allardyce as their next manager....
Alan Pardew Sacked At Crystal Palace After Not Doing Jack Shit With Lots Of Money
After two years of up-and-down management of Crystal Palace (the “up” referring to his swashbuckling midseason heroism of his first few months at the club which brought the Eagles out of danger and led them to 10th place in the table, and the “down” the current campaign that has them teetering on th...