cup Page 75 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Reports: Dislocated Shoulder Could Knock Mohamed Salah Out Of The World Cup
Saturday’s Champions League final was a feverish, spectacular affair featuring memorable feats of athleticism, an even more memorable all-time boner, and a perfectly timed idiot on the pitch. The match was pretty significantly marred, though, by a first half injury to world-destroying goal-bot Moham...
Donald Trump Definitely Needs Glasses
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. The plan was just to keep on honking away like big idiots about the NBA playoffs for as long as we possibly could, and Drew and I were certainly ready to hold up our end of that bargain. But the stupendous lameness of the NBA playoffs at this moment and the simulta...
Eden Hazard Is Too Good For Chelsea
Chelsea beat Manchester United in the F.A. Cup final this weekend in a match that was bad for connoisseurs of sumptuous soccer but good for haters of José Mourinho and for fans of Eden Hazard. That last aspect of the game’s outcome is a positive not only because it’s always cool to see a great and f...
Collateral Damage
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Argentina FA Puts Out World Cup Manual With Chapter On Picking Up Russian Women
The Argentine Football Association, the country’s governing body of soccer, held on Tuesday a course for players, coaches, executives, and reporters heading to Russia for next month’s World Cup. The course, taught by Russian language teacher, Eduardo Pennisi, included a manual, “Russian Language and...
Is The First Pro Surfing Contest In A Wave Pool The Sport's Future, Or Its Bastardization?
LEMOORE, Calif. — Imagine a gymnastics floor routine competition in which athletes are scored on the difficulty, variety, and quality of execution of their maneuvers. Now imagine that the floor itself is in a constant state of change. It may be longer or shorter, harder or softer, weirdly curved, bu...
OK, Roenick, That's Enough<em></em>
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Father Of Future American Wonderteen Barron Trump Tries To Threaten His Way To A North American World Cup
The father of noted Arsenal fan and possible future of American soccer Barron Trump, Donald Trump, took a break from caring about a black person tonight and delivered a message about the U.S.’s joint World Cup bid that should be not-at-all off-putting to the voters in the countries it’s meant to add...
Fox Sports Is Half-Assing The World Cup
Fox Sports, who paid an unprecedented $425 million for the TV rights to the 2018 and 2022 World Cups—before the U.S. team shockingly failed to qualify—announced today that it is essentially giving up on trying to make its World Cup broadcast as good as it could be. But, don’t worry, it will be a lo...
Russian Soccer Fans Reportedly Chanted Monkey Noises At Black French Players
In yesterday’s friendly between France and Russia in St. Petersburg, Russian soccer fans reportedly continued their long and fervent tradition of being super racist to black players by chanting monkey noises at French players Paul Pogba and Ousmane Dembélé. The Associated Press reported that the abu...
Here Are The New Kits The USMNT Won't Wear At The World Cup This Year
U.S. Soccer unveiled the new uniforms for the men’s and women’s national teams in what amounted to a Friday afternoon news dump. The timing was strange, and almost made it seem like they didn’t want to remind everyone that the U.S. men’s national soccer team will not be wearing these sweet new kits ...
Slightly Defective Museum Cat Clearly The Animal To Beat In Predicting The World Cup
We are just 12 weeks away from some soccer games, but more importantly we are just 12 weeks away from a bunch of animals picking the winners of those soccer games. Following in the footsteps of Paul the octopus and Clam the psychic clam, a veritable menagerie of clairvoyant creatures are preparing t...
FIFA Agrees To Infect This Summer's World Cup With Video Replay
We’ve made the case time and again for why VAR, soccer’s video replay system, sucks ass. Apparently our cries for sanity have fallen on deaf ears, because reports say the chuckleheads at FIFA have just agreed to inflict VAR upon the upcoming World Cup in Russia....
World Cup Construction Workers Go Months At A Time Without A Day Off
A consultant group serving as the “External Compliance Monitor” for the 2022 FIFA World Cup released its second annual report on Wednesday detailing labor conditions at construction sites in Qatar. The tone of the accompanying press release is positive, touting “a new spirit” and labor law reforms (...
A Serena Williams Practice Is Where Discipline Meets Greatness
It’s a gray afternoon on Feb. 7 and the windows of the U.S. Cellular Center in Asheville, North Carolina are decorated with large, human-sized tennis balls. Crows pick through the trash near a sign announcing the symphony, and someone has vomited coleslaw in the mulch near a satellite truck. It is o...
Mauricio Pochettino Says Video Replay Threatens To "Kill The Emotion" Of Soccer
Yesterday’s Tottenham-Rochdale match had all the ingredients for great game. It had stakes, as an F.A. Cup knockout match; it had narrative, since it pit a Goliath of a club against a lower league David; it had drama, after it went into halftime tied at one goal apiece as Rochdale fought valiantly t...
America's World Cup Hosting Bid Might Fail Because Everyone Hates Donald Trump
In a blessed confluence of somewhat unexpected events, Donald Trump’s presidency has thus far avoided bringing permanent ruin to the country and the world. The sheer odiousness of his status as president of the U.S. does, however, appear at risk of ruining this country’s shot at hosting the 2026 Wor...
Sergio Agüero Under Investigation After Squaring Up With Dumbass Pitch Invader
Mighty Manchester City somehow lost to third-tier club Wigan in the F.A. Cup yesterday. Predictably, this caused a ruckus as the stunned and overjoyed home fans stormed the pitch after the final whistle. One such Wigan fan got way too hyped by the moment and got all up in Sergio Agüero’s face, inspi...
Serena Williams Will Be Ready When It Counts
What was set to be Serena Williams’s low-key but triumphant return to competitive tennis on Sunday, after more than a year away from the game, was instead a signal that the 36-year-old, 23-time Grand Slam winner is far from peak form. At least in matches that don’t matter. ...