da Page 1138 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Former ML'er A Texas-Sized Deadbeat Dad
Troy Neel, who bought an island in fricking Vanuatu to avoid paying his state-record $700,000 in child support, was sentenced today. That's twice as much as he earned in his three years in MLB. [San Antonio Express-News]...
One Mission Tim Tebow Won't Accomplish This Year
Thanks to Clay Travis' question, it's official: Tim Tebow is saving himself for marriage! That's splendid for Sports Illustrated, which will now recycle this cover for next week's issue. See? Even journalism is no match for Tim Tebow. [FanHouse]...
Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized
"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...
Red Sox Trading For Players They Don't Even Want
The Red Sox, in full panic mode and mistakenly believing they were allowed a 45-man roster, are now collecting baseball players the way most people collect baseball cards: They don't have the space or use for them....
Spectacularly Awful Beats Boringly Mediocre Every Time
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Fan Who Charged Beckham Feels Wrath Of Home Depot
The L.A. Galaxy fan who leapt out of the stands to answer David Beckham's challenge may face a fate worth than jail or death—a lifetime ban from the Home Depot Center. Even for the Vans Warped Tour?...
The (Mobile) Internet Is For Porn
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
And Here's The Front Page Of Tomorrow's <em>New York Post</em>
Amazingly, Busted Coverage's ridiculous giant penis-wielding bachelorette story was completely true. This photo tells the tale: the daring lass staring down the determined Tahoe sheriff as Michael Jordan cautiously avoids a messy inflatable dong confrontation. Yay America....
This Little Furry Will Be Shaq's Reality Show Sidekick
"Ive been alotta place but being at the shaolin temple n china has brouhht a tear to my eye buddha blessed," Shaq recently tweeted. So he cried on the shoulder of a giant panda, and turned that frown upside down....
Goodbye, Local Media. Hello, ESPN YourTown
Remember ESPNChicago, the synergtastic "local" website built to honor the Windy City and maybe make all the city's media outlets bow down in servitude to their Bristol masters? It worked! Oh....and you're next, Dallas! (Cue "Imperial March.")...
Not Even Jay Mariotti Agrees With Jay Mariotti
Mariotti, July 15: "It's going to take time" for people to move past "the '09 double whammy of Alex Rodriguez and Manny Ramirez." Mariotti, July 17: People have moved past the Manny Ramirez scandal. [Mlive.com]...
Beckham Experiment Descends Into Fear And Loathing, Lesson In The Subjectivity Of Perception
Beckham played his first home game back with the Galaxy yesterday, and things got ugly. Either a fan nearly attacked him (per the U.S. press), or he nearly attacked a fan (per the Brits). It's like Rashomon in shinguards!...
Bill Simmons Shapes Young Minds
The Sports Fella recommended one young reader attend Dartmouth over Princeton (via his ever-popular "Mail Bag"). Amazingly, the young lad listened to him. Yep, this is our next generation. [IvyGate]...
A Funnier, Less Pottymouthed Pacman Making It Rain Video
It really shouldn't have taken this long for this to be made. But I think we're all glad it was....
USF Kicker Nominates Self For Darwin Award With Theme Park Mishap
It's the kicker-gets-injured story that has everything: a second-rate Florida football school, a second-rate Florida theme park, and a totally preventable injury that's not too serious to make fun of him....
And Now Let's End The Day With Michael Jordan And A Giant Inflatable Penis
I hope this post does not objectify Michael Jordan. The man can't help it if he's sexy. He just saunters his fine-ass around the golf course and people have normal, healthy reactions in his presence. Some people just go overboard....
Mutton Wins Again
Is there a bigger mismatch out there than little children vs. surly mutton? Seriously. They're like the Washington Generals on sheepback. Look, kids. Hang it up. You just aren't going to ride that mutton....
Report: Notre Dame Will Play Army At Yankee Stadium In History's Most Insufferable Football Game
Pat Forde's reporting that the Fighting Irish will take on the Black Knights in 2010 at Versailles-on-the-Harlem, reviving a longstanding New York tradition of Irish people fighting the Army that dates all the way back to the Draft Riots. [ESPN]...
Adam Jones "Makin' It Rain": The Video (NSFW)
We compared the Las Vegas Journal Review's massive feature on the Minxx strip club incident to the Warren Report, but now we finally have the Zapruder Film. Video (that's probably not safe work) of Adam "Pacman" Jones making it rain....
David Beckham Plays Soccer Like Your Dad
Becks was "often behind the play and seemed winded" in his return to the L.A. Galaxy last night, in front of 22,000 Giants Stadium fans. The last time L.A. played at New York, it was 40,000. [AP]...