da Page 1170 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Crappy Teams Forget They're Crappy
This could be the week that time forgot. Jobs are on the line and crappy teams all over the league are forgetting that they are, well, crappy. • Keith Bulluck, the Titans leading tackler was taken into the locker room with a rib injury. Bullock wears the radio helmet for Tennessee so coach Jeff Fish...

Next Game, the Knicks Won't Even Let Stephon Marbury Onto the Team Bus
Once again, the NBA's highest paid bench-warmer did not take part in the Greek tragedy that is otherwise known as New York Knickerbockers basketball. After conferring with head coach Mike D'Antoni at the team's hotel in Philadelphia last night, Stephon Marbury and his annual salary of $21.9 million...

College Football Preview: The Jort-Out Is Coming
In a move reminiscent of the final rap contest between Rabbit and Papa Doc, Florida fans have embraced their greatest flaw: the you wear jorts insult that Georgia fans have been hurling for the better part of a decade. Yep, there's an organized movement afoot for Gator fans to show up in jorts for t...

Al Davis To Be Wheeled Into Court Yet Again
And so it begins ... Lane Kiffin vs. Al Davis in court, as you always knew it would end up. Bright and early this morning, Kiffin filed a grievance with the league alleging that the Raiders owe him the $2.6 million balance on his contract after he was fired in Sept., to which I respond, what took yo...

Knicks Fans Love Affair With Mike D'Antoni Lasts Three Quarters
After what seemed like four decades of frustration with managerial incompetence, New York Knicks fans were finally liberated from the shackles of the Isiah Thomas Era and were rewarded with the free-wheeling Mike D'Antoni, a guy with actual playoff wins on his resume. Everything is going to be fine!...

30 Previews In 30 Days: The Washington Wizards
The NBA season has started! And this is the last team we have to preview! They are: The Washington Bullets Wizards. When last we saw them: Finished 43-39, second in the Southeast Division and fifth overall in the East. Suffered what is becoming their annual "Elimination by the Cleveland Cavaliers" i...

Thursday Night Preview: #23 South Florida at Cincinnati
In keeping with the theme of the day, once the ESPN Thursday night programmer took a shit and put it into his ESPN issued lunchbox (the graphic on the lunchbox was Stuart Scott's lazy eye and the eye followed you when it moved.)Anyway, then the ESPN programmer collected Lou Holtz's spit and mixed i...

FreeDarko Will Blow Your Mind With Widgets
I am a big NFL fan. But my passion for that league looks like a mere dalliance when compared to the fantastically obsessive adoration the people at FreeDarko have for the NBA. I mean, they previewed every fucking GAME of the season, for shit's sake. You know, for those of you who need to know the o...

Your Guest Editor Has Arrived. Get All Your Balls In Order.
All right, you listen up, you little freaks. The fun stops here: you're going to shut your stinking traps and behave, dammit! This is one substitute you're not going to SCREW WITH! That's right, I'm your guest editor today. Send your tips to me here, or to [email protected]. And while I'm here, in ...

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSss
And only, like, five people died! Seriously, this is the greatest, bestest thing in the world. As a fan of your favorite team, I hope you do experience it. I never, EVER thought i would. Yeah, that's a car tipped over. See you tomorrow! PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES: WORLD SERIES CHAMPS! GOD, FUCK ME IN THE...

John Daly, a North Carolina Hooters, 2:17 a.m — Guess How This Story Ends?
Well, hi there, handsome! Here's the latest mugshot of troubled professional golfer John Daly, who is obviously still hellbent on recklessly drinkin' and piggin' himself toward an early grave. Winston-Salem police arrived at a Hooters restaurant early Sunday morning and came upon Daly being "intoxic...

This Is Why We Can't Have Two-Way Football Players Anymore
College and pro sports are dirty cesspools of corruption, greed, and underhanded malfeasance, but they've got nothing on the cutthroat world of high school football. Just ask Taysom Hill, a star quarterback from Highland High School in Idaho, who is committed to Stanford. Recent opponent and cross-...

30 Previews In 30 Days: The Utah Jazz
The NBA season has started! But, like, we still have two previews to go! Up next is a team that loves the pick-and-roll...and quiet evenings at home. They are: The Utah Jazz. When last we saw them: Finished 54-28, first in the Northwest Division and fourth overall in the West. Lost to the Lakers in ...

Danyelle Sargent Is Trying to Put All of This Behind Her
Fox sportscaster and potty-mouthed vixen Danyelle Sargent went on Dan Patrick's SI radio show this morning, sounding beleaguered and contrite for her embarrassing Bill Walsh slip-up that unfortunately made the airwaves on Sunday and unleashed the wrath of Mike Francesa. This is her quote from Patric...

30 Previews In 30 Days: The San Antonio Spurs
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that is NEW AND EXCITING!! (But not really.) They are: The San Antonio Spurs. When last we saw them: Finished 56-26, seco...

The Criminal Element In Canadian College Football
Canadians have a sordid reputation for being exceedingly polite, but they want to remind everyone that they can hurt your feelings with a cutting barb or scathing observation too. Of course, even Canucks who are on the other end of those vicious attacks can fight back like a Momma Palin bear on her ...

30 Previews In 30 Days: The Toronto Raptors
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that I'm previewing before the Spurs. Sorry, San Antonio. They are: The Toronto Raptors. When last we saw them: Finished ...

Why Can't NFL Fans Celebrate Like That?
To my knowledge there haven't been any delightful female-on-female celebrations in the stands at today's NFL games, but as we all know the real action takes place in the Carolina bathrooms. Fortunately the games themselves have produced their own entertainment, unlike your average Big 10 game. New ...

30 Previews In 30 Days: The Sacramento Kings
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that may get a royal flush right down the Western Conference commode this season. They are: The Sacramento Kings. When la...

David Stern Invites Seattle to Watch Their Ex-Girlfriend With New Boyfriend
On the weekend before the NBA finally returns to action after its six-week sabbatical after the NBA Finals, we must take one more moment to remember one city that will not be joining the rest of us in our journey this season as Oklahoma City tries to pretend they can support both an NBA franchise an...