da Page 1181 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Brad Ziegler's Goofy-Assed Delivery Unhittable So Far
Finally, there's hope for Barry Zito. First, you need to sustain a couple of concussions ... look, it's complicated. But the upshot is that you change to a sidearm delivery. Then you, like the Oakland Athletics' Brad Ziegler, might one day break the major league record for consecutive scoreless inni...

Emmitt Smith's Role With ESPN Gets Reimagined
The signs were all there that Emmit Smith's time mumbling, bumbling, stumbling on ESPN's Sunday NFL Countdown was going to be short-lived, especially when the WWL picked up Cris Carter post-"Inside The NFL", but he's still not completely out of a job. No, Smith has not been banished to some verb con...

U Of F President Irked By Gators' Party School Honor
It must be difficult for any university president to respond to the news that the school they promote as a bastion of education, culture, and developing fine, upstanding human beings is designated as the nation's top-ranked party school. On one hand, you're grateful for the national exposure the sch...

When It Comes Right Down To It, Maybe Cheerleaders Really Are Just A Bunch Of Brazen Exhibitionists
Late last night Deadspin received an email with the subject " Former USC Song Girl Sarah Carmona" which, even though harmless enough, can only mean something salacious would be attached. True to form, the accompanying emailer described the pictures yanked from Ms. Carmona's Facebook page which inclu...

Looking for Why Gators Are Dominant? It Starts In Erin Andrews' Bed
Because, you see, the team is successful because Erin has realized that if she strips the bed of all pillows and comforters then good things happen. And occasionally, for superstitious reasons, she has the other girls over for sex-toy slumber parties and they exchange lingerie tips and...this is to...

Adam "Pacman" Jones Gets His First Dallas Endorsement Deal
I think I speak for everyone when I say, "This is Adam Jones; formerly Pacman. I've learned how tough it is to get a second chance," is the most persuasive opening to a commercial in the history of television. Particularly with the 1970's r&b background music. How much money did this company have...

Hester Gets Paid, Favre Is a Douchebag, and the Pats Sign Jordan
The Chicago Bears have finally settled things with Devin Hester. They've agreed to reward their return man and potential wide receiver with a four year deal that worth $30 million including a guaranteed $15 million. However ESPN is reporting that the terms of the contract get a bit more complex from...

Giuliani's Mom Questions Coach's Judgment
Apparently once you decide to procreate with Rudy Giuliani you become some sort of arbiter of quality judgment. The New York Daily News is reporting that the Giuliani camp will use a 2004 picture from a Golf Digest photo shoot from Duke's O.D. Vincent's days at UCLA to display the coach's history p...

Chairman Mao Would Certainly Approve
In general, any form of exercise, if pursued continuously, will help train us in perseverance. -Mao Tse-Tung Pole dancing has become the newest personal fitness trend in China, and of course the New York Times is all over the story. ...

Bo Knows This Won't End Well
Former Domer pitcher/receiver Jeff "The Shark" Samardzija made his Major League debut yesterday afternoon in a relief appearance for the Chicago Cubs. The 23 year-old rookie struck out a pair of Marlins in the two-inning outing, but he failed to pickup the hold after beginning the seventh inning wi...

Mayhem In The Midwest League
As you probably saw in our morning wakeup video whachamahoozit, the Peoria Chiefs and Dayton Dragons engaged in a pretty nasty brawl at Dayton's Fifth Third Park on Thursday, which even included a civilian casualty. Peoria pitcher Julio Castillo threw a ball at a Dayton player in the dugout, but mis...

Alexei Ramirez Has A Magical Glove
It's not like White Sox second baseman Alexei Ramirez has gone unnoticed for his hustle and defensive prowess thus far, but come on; this is close to supernatural. Look at this play by Ramirez in the seventh against the Rangers on Wednesday; sleight of hand worthy of the Magic Castle. Wizard Cat gra...

Eastern Kentucky Wideout Faces Prison Time, Permanent Emasculation After Botched Shoplift
There might be a reasonable explanation for why Eastern Kentucky University wide receiver Davin Walker was shoplifting at Wal-Mart. Being a specialty player at a school like Eastern Kentucky (although Dan Patrick did play basketball there for two years) usually doesn't provide a livable income or ex...

Apparently, Ravens Offensive Tackle Marshal Yanda Is Also Impervious To Tasers
Yesterday we discovered that Bucs safety Donte Nicholson withstood the first police tasing without being impacted. Now comes the rumor that the Baltimore Ravens bet their teammate Marshal Yanda $1,500 that he couldn't withstand a taser. According to the Baltimore Sun, Yanda collected....

Rick Mahorn Still Can't Figure Out How To Talk To Girls
Sadly, last night's brawl between the Los Angeles Sparks and the Detroit Shock will probably be the only storyline that puts the WNBA above the fold for the rest of the regular season. As far as sports melees go, it was monumental; it involved two of the leagues major stars (Candace Parker, Lisa Les...

University of Iowa Athletic Staff Conspired to Cover Up a Sexual Assault?
A fellow student-athlete at Iowa alleged she was sexually assaulted by two football players on October 14, 2007. Within 36 hours of the assault the victim reported the incident to the highest levels of the Iowa Athletic department. Including athletic director Gary Barta, head football coach Kirk Fer...

Use DZNUTS: Your Scrotum Will Thank You
Oh what the hell, let's just call it balls day on Deadspin. Introducing dznuts, developed for competitive cyclists "to reduce and relieve chaffing, irritation, and protect fragile perineal skin from bacterial and fungal infections." It's got masterwort, so you know it's good....

Dive Only Into Pools Of Which You Know The Depth
If you were wondering where Daric Barton was when Oakland was playing the Yankees this weekend (who of us wasn't?), well he wasn't playing because he got hurt during the All-Star break. The rookie first basemen has a lot to learn about how to dive into swimming pools....

Video Of Milka Duno Towel-Snapping Danica Patrick, After 60 Long Minutes, Finally Surfaces
I was ready to move on from this particular story thinking there was no footage of this argument, and eventually concluding it was a lame altercation to begin with. But as the FanIQ headline says, "It's Just as Awesome as We Thought." Crystal clear audio. A towel snap. And a predominantly male pit ...

Mid-Ohio Endures IRL Cat Fight Epidemic
If the concept of Ohio depresses you, at least the cities of Cleveland, Cincinnati, Youngstown, and Toledo all lie on or near the state border, opening up hopes and promises of other states. But Mid-Ohio? That's a lot of driving to exit the state, and driving in rural Ohio is a good way to lose one'...