dallasstars Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Richard Bachman Will Wear A Stephen King-Inspired Goalie Mask
It's got to suck to be the Dallas Stars' backup goalie. He'll never be the most famous person named Richard Bachman, even though the guy ahead of him isn't actually named Richard Bachman. But he's embracing it, with this new mask from David Gunnarsson, featuring art from The Shining....
Jaromir Jagr Signs With Dallas Stars, Is Still Old And Not Very Good
Earlier today, Jaromir Jagr—who said on Sunday that 21 teams made him offers— signed a one-year deal with the Dallas Stars. It's worth $4.5 million....
Kari Lehtonen Hits Fan In Face With Puck, Gives Him Towel To Clean Up The Blood That Is Promptly Stolen By Another Fan
Hockey fandom is a dangerous game, folks. If you're not taking pucks to the face then you're being ripped off by your fellow fans after taking a puck to the face. At least this woman had a conscience and eventually gave the towel back. For his troubles, the fan received Lehtonen's stick and a few ...
A Short, Strange Lesson In NHL Economics, With Professor Sean Avery
Yesterday, Minnesota placed winger Eric Nystrom on waivers. The Wild clearly wanted to move his $1.4 million salary, and any player picked up on waivers gets split between his old and new teams. So at a more palatable $700,000...there were still no takers for Nystrom....
Fare Thee Well, Sean Avery
The New York Rangers waived fashionisto-cum-agitator Sean Avery this week, and today he cleared waivers and left the team. Aww....
This Was The Day Snow Tits Evolved Into Telestrator Tits
Halfway through the second period of tonight's Detroit Red Wings/Dallas Stars game, booth talk apparently turned to penalty-box shoulder pads. The end result: Telestrator Breastuses on what appears to be Mike Ribeiro of the Stars. (H/T Ryan C.)...
There Were Three Fights In The First Four Seconds Of An NHL Game Tonight
The last time Dallas Stars visited the Boston Bruins, the teams totaled 175 penalty minutes. Bad blood continued tonight. A fight in the first second. A fight in the second second. And, a fight in the fourth second....
Brad Richards Shot A Hole In The Glass Last Night
This slap shot by the Stars' Brad Richards was different than your everyday slap shot in that it BROKE CLEAR THROUGH THE FREAKING GLASS. [Sportress of Blogitude]...
This Is What Should Happen Whenever You Play A Sports Video Game
We've all been there: Playing Bulls versus Blazers on SNES, Shasta'd out of your mind, Kevin Duckworth at the line. He misses. You lose. Wouldn't you like a chance to see Duckworth—the real Duckworth—atone?...
Mike Ribeiro Arrested For Public Intoxication, May Try To Blame Bad Sushi
Good sushi restaurants are about as foreign to the Sun Belt as hockey, but that's where the Stars center and his party got into an altercation last night. Ribeiro and his wife were arrested, but made bail early this morning. [Morning News]...
Nutty Protesters Going After Hockey Now, Apparently
Westboro Baptist Church, best known for disrupting soldiers' funerals and being generally batshit insane, are currently — at this very moment! — picketing outside the Stars/Coyotes game in Dallas. Because nothing saith "abomination unto the Lord" like Marty Turco's goaltending....
Mark Ingram, Mateen Cleaves, The Heisman And A Baby Walk Into A Bar...
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
George Lopez Is This Year's Frank Caliendo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Tom Hicks Is Out Of Money
The Texas Rangers/Dallas Stars/Liverpool Kicking Guys owner has defaulted on about $500 million worth of loans and will probably have to sell his precious toys. But he was always so frugal and wise! [Dallas Observer]...
Oh, So He's Insane
"We understand that Sean has problems, and we understand that people are human," Hull said. "We don't want to ruin Sean or his career. We want him to get better, but we needed to obviously part ways with Sean. It's amicable." [Dallas Morning News]...
ESPN Keeps Us Entertained With Ironic Headlines
Perhaps not the best choice of words in headline No. 2, considering the whole story behind headline No. 1. Oh ESPN headbots, you've done it again....
Sean Avery Out In Dallas
It looks like Sean Avery's suspension is upgraded back to "forever". Avery will not be re-joining the Stars when is six game time-out is over....
Sean Avery To Enjoy Nice Six-Game Vacation
In case you hadn't heard, Sean Avery's suspension has been downgraded from "forever" to six games—including two already served—meaning Elisha Cuthbert's honor should be safe for the next two weeks or so. More hilarious than the fact that a hockey player has been suspended for dirty talk is that he n...
Sean Avery Will Now Have To J.O. To Dallas Ladies
Well, isn't that fitting. Fashion-friendly hockey menace Sean Avery gets savaged by Gawker due to his "I'm Going Home To Jerk Off To You Now" comment at a Paris fashion show and then signs a 4-year deal with the Dallas Stars. The Stars are excited about his hockey skills more than his masturbatio...
Chris Osgood's Feel-Good Story Comes To A Butt-End
While Mitch Albom was gushing over what a selfless mensch Chris Osgood is on the Sports Reporters this morning for gracefully stepping aside when the Red Wings signed Dominik Hasek, he conveniently ignored the cheap shot Osgood took with the butt-end of his stick to the Stars' Mike Ribeiro at the en...