dan Page 229 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Boston Pro Lacrosse Team With A Mascot Who Loved Lap Dances Has Suspended Operations
Boston Blazers President and GM Doug Reffue announced — in a letter to "the Blazers community" on the team website — that the three-year-old National Lacrosse League franchise was temporarily closing up shop. They're looking "both locally and nationally" for a new home for the 2013 season....

Turns Out Ohio State Is Not Done Suspending Its Players For Minor Infractions
According to Doug Lesmerises of the Cleveland Plain Dealer, tOSU will make running back Jordan Hall, corner Travis Howard, and safety Corey Brown sit out its first game against Akron. You guessed it: "impermissible benefits of $300 or less at a charity event earlier this year." [@PDBuckeyes]...

Now Comes The District Of Columbia To Protest The Dumbassness Of Dan Snyder's Dumbass Libel Suit
It was always going to come to this. After being abused by Dan Snyder for over a decade, DC is finally fighting back. The city's Attorney General this week intervened in Snyder's increasingly desperate case against the Washington City Paper, arguing, more or less, that the wee Redskins owner is a ti...

The Pregnant Man Is Very Upset With Chaz Bono
Where to begin? Ok, the cast....

Insights Gleaned From Watching The Blurry LSU Fight Video Way Too Many Times
First watch the above video, a news report featuring surveillance video at Shady's bar. Then take a look at the one below, which purports to be cell phone footage of the actual brawl....

You Still Can't Look At A Danny Woodhead Press Conference Photo Without Thinking "Awww..."
Don't worry: Danny says his head still feels fine and he will scamper his way into the back-pocket of America again real soon. Aww. [Rich Eisen]...

Wow, LSU Players Really Fucked Up Those Guys In The Shady's Parking Lot (Allegedly)
When we brought you photos of Andrew Lowery, the Marine beaten up outside a Baton Rouge bar, it looked ugly: cuts, bruises, blood. When we brought you the police report, it sounded ugly: a man dragged from his vehicle, Lowery kicked in the face. But the medical reports are in, and it's uglier than w...

A Former Six Flags Employee Contributes To Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dosed with a few micrograms of polonium-210. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna ...

Why Is Bill Belichick Stockpiling Mediocre Former Jets This Offseason?
The Patriots have a thing for acquiring former Jets to play small roles on their team. (The Jets sometimes do the same thing.) We wonder why....

Brave TV Reporter Gets A Mouthful Of Sewage-Seasoned Sea Foam To Seize The Big Story
Your morning roundup for Aug. 28, the day we give a shout out to aquatic fleas. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. (Want more Tucker Barnes? Here.)...

Let's Watch Cesc Fabregas Score His First Highlight-Reel Goal For Barcelona
Your morning roundup for Aug. 27, the day Chevy Chase's resurgence finally got to Dan Aykroyd, but not necessarily to Bill Murray, because Bill Murray knows he's better than Ghostbusters 3. This, because he unequivocally is. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Police Release Initial Report Of LSU Bar Fight, Jordan Jefferson Figures Prominently
Baton Rouge police have published the initial incident report from the officer responding to Friday morning's parking lot brawl. You can read the entire thing below. It contains the statements of the 21-year-old Marine who was bloodied and bruised, as well as a female witness who appears to corrobor...

This Is The Bloodied Marine That LSU's Jordan Jefferson Allegedly Kicked In The Face
We were sent this image purporting to be of the good samaritan, returning from Marine Corps training, who rushed to break up a Baton Rouge bar fight and ended up getting pummeled by at least four LSU players. We've been unable to confirm—the cops have instituted a media blackout, to the extent that ...

The One Where An Ex-Pharmacist Offers Us Proof That Tiger Woods And Elin Have Herpes
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy. ...

Bobby Valentine Has It In For Starlin Castro
Starlin Castro, the young, hopeful face of the Cubs franchise this season, pissed off Bobby Valentine in a game against the Cardinals last night, and nothing good came out of it—unless you have a general appreciation for seven-minute rants on five-second occurrences in the middle of your baseball ...

There Will Be Justice, But LSU Has To Play Oregon First
"As of Sunday night, though, the players had decided to delay a scheduled interview with police and had not been asked to turn themselves in. I don't have any inside information, but this being law and order in Louisiana, I predict a big break in the case to come sometime on the morning of Sept. 4....

The Cool Kids Will Now Be Sitting At Bleacher Report's Lunch Table: A Slideshow
Introducing your new Bleacher Report "National Lead Writers" ......

Presenting Slo-Mo Video Of A Little League Player Taking A Baseball To The Face
Your morning roundup for Aug. 20, the ninth day that Delonte West will wake up hoping Home Depot calls. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. (Video from California's 11-0 win over Rhode Island H/T Shaun B). ...

Does The UFC's Fox Deal Mean MMA Has Finally Gone Mainstream?
Oh god. Now we're going to have this idiotic debate again. Sports Business Daily today reported that the UFC has signed a seven or eight year deal to air as many as four events a year on the Fox network. The deal represents "a major push into the mainstream for the UFC."...
