day Page 114 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

USC Song Girls Do That Thing They Do That Makes People Happy
The lively boys at TrojanWire have cobbled together a tribute video to the world's most famous white-sweatered show ponies — with musical accompaniment by the Pixies — to celebrate the advent of Trojan season. [TrojanWire]...

Thomas Jones Had Some Festive Birthday Party Entertainment
You should see these ladies make balloon animals. It's a sight to behold. [JerseyChaser]...

At Last, A Carl Monday Video That Will Never Be Rubbed Out
For too long, the video of wanking correspondent Carl Monday's investigation into the activities of Mike Cooper's right hand has been subject to the whims of copyright enforcement. No longer. Here it is, brand spanking new, archived for all eternity....

Joakimpalooza Festival Will Be Coming To A City Near You
We showed you a couple of photographs of dirty hippie Joakim Noah popping up at last weekend's Lollapalooza festival and it appears that he was friendly to pretty much everyone he came in contact with during the three-day event....

The Bizarre World Of American Grocery Bagging
I spend a lot of time at the supermarket these days....

Minor Leaguer Convicted Of Assault After Basebrawl Gone Wrong
Remember that vicious minor league brawl that took an ugly turn when pitcher Julio Castillo chucked a 90-m.p.h. fastball at an innocent fan? It appears that people were not happy about that! And by people I mean judges and prosecutors....

Finally, a No-Hassle Way to Receive Semen From a Dude That Looks Like This
What mother wouldn't want a puffy, bloated, thick-necked bouncing baby boy? Thanks to a sperm bank in Los Angeles, you can make your dream of birthing Ben Roethlisberger's baby without sleeping with Ben Roethlisberger come true....

If You Want a Ride In James Harrison's Smart Car, Ask For a Ride in James Harrison's Smart Car When He Hasn't Won the Super Bowl
James Harrison, who is reportedly afraid of one perfectly dignified method of transportation, showed up to training camp in in a tiny German clown car. He is driving it for the children!...

Once More To The Pool
Summertime, oh summertime, when on Sundays, pointless galleries seem to make some sense. So, voila! Now go do a cannonball....

Phillies Still Dawdling On Halladay, Just In Case Happ Or Drabek Is Next Halladay And Not Next Mike Grace
The Phillies were all but guaranteed to land the Greatest Pitcher Ever at some point this weekend, but Blue Jays' GM J.P. Ricciardi's now justifiably hard-balling. Impasse!...

And Now For A Minute Of Actual Sports
Roy Halladay is not a member of the Phillies ... yet. The Toronto Blue Jays' demands of executive bathroom privileges proved too steep for the Philadelphia bigwigs....

Matt Holliday Gets Sucked Into The Strong, Midwestern Embrace Of The St. Louis Cardinals
"The Athletics and Cardinals have completed a trade that sends outfielder Matt Holliday to St. Louis in exchange for third baseman Brett Wallace, outfielder Shane Peterson and right-handed pitcher Clayton Mortensen, sources told ESPN The Magazine's Buster Olney." [ESPN]...

Your Daily Dead Mets Walking Update
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The (Mobile) Internet Is For Porn
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Mutton Wins Again
Is there a bigger mismatch out there than little children vs. surly mutton? Seriously. They're like the Washington Generals on sheepback. Look, kids. Hang it up. You just aren't going to ride that mutton....

How To Deal With A Day Without Sports
It's Black Wednesday, the one day on the calendar with no professional sports going on (the WNBA is offering four games tonight). How is the sports media coping with the empirically slowest news day of the year?...

He's Not A Coffeenerd, But Trent Green Loves His Kids And Niagara Falls
"It's one thing to play football in front of 80,000 fans on Sundays, but it's quite another to write about it knowing 1.5 million of you are used to a pro like Peter King." [SI.com]...

Happiness Broke This High School Pitcher's Leg
Broken bones are commonplace in sports, but a fracture during an on-field post-game celebration is a little more rare. Yet, that's exactly how Auburn high school pitcher Chris Halliday most likely finished his baseball career....

Where Awkward Happens: Reading The Body Language Of NBA Draft Picks
The David Stern handshake is a newly drafted player's baptism into the NBA. It is also, often as not, hilariously awkward. We asked body language maven Patti Wood to analyze some of these moments from yesterday's Draft....

Pointless Sunday Gallery: When In Doubt, Lead With Roy Hobbs
Barbecue, La-Z-Boys, dessert, good fathers, seminal moments in pop culture and really, really dreadful fathers. It's the Father's Day edition of Pointless Sunday Gallery. Except this time, it has a point. Sort of?...