deadspin Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Week In Deadspin: Projectiles In Boston
• In Fenway they throw pizza, and in Toronto they throw beer. • Kids, this is what happens when you aren't good at soccer. • Pete Carroll is in much better shape than Will Ferrell. • Free Darko took us into the playoffs. • Bud Selig solves all racial inequality. • No-hitters are the best. • "Hey, ca...
He's Not Our Dad! He's Our Stepdad!
Did you know that on several occasions... he touched us? [long pause] That wasn't true. Made it up. Shouldn't have done that. Sorry....
Week In Deadspin: Like Pac Man, We're Taking Some Time Off
• What it was like at Fenway on Wednesday. • In case you're looking for some new employment opportunities. • Jon Bon Jovi, pissed! • Indians in Milwaukee? Wha? • The new ombudsman bitch-slaps Schrutebag. • Not a good week for ESPN Fantasy Games. • Maybe you should sit a few plays out, big guy. • Rem...
Back When We Were Even Worse At This Than We Are Now
If you'll excuse us a brief moment of self-indulgence, we have a tiny anniversary to note....
To Get The Benefit Of It, Honey, You Really Need To Be Sitting In Our Seat
You didn't say we shouldn't do that ever again; you said we ain't ever gonna do that again. You said not only are we never gonna play ship's mast again, you also said if you ever do what you're trying to do now, to not only refuse, but that we had permission to physically restrain your ass if necess...
Some Minor Changes Around These Here Parts
You might have noticed some changes around here — not least of which tech issues that didn't allow us to put up our first post until 10 a.m. — so we thought we'd try to walk you through the best we understand, which is to say, not much at all....
Week In Deadspin: We Can Watch Baseball Again
• Baseball's back! • Bill Simmons, staying above ground. • Nothing is funnier than when Frank Thomas pegs a child. • Even though the team's not looking so hot right now, Cardinals fans remain the best. • Beer bong! • Don't fag out on us now, Packer. • We never made it to Atlanta, but Florida didn't ...
We Now Return You To "The Man From Rio" Already In Progress
Now Ted, a person's life is filled with a zillion little experiences. Some which are insignificant, have no meaning, and, you know, you forget them. Others, you remember for the rest of your natural life. Now, since what we're proposing here is so unusual, so outside the norm, this is a good bet tha...
Week In Review: Yes, Virgina, There Is A Final Four
• Screw off, Selig. • Goodbye, George Solomon. • Peyton Manning blows us away with his ability to be vaguely amusing. • Look what happens when you get these guys together in a room. • Dance, Gus Johnson, dance. • Duke ladies. • See ya, Joe Theismann. • You, too, can coach the Wolverines. • David Hir...
Don't Smoke Crack. It's A Ghetto Drug
Some people will work / Some never will / But they'll complain and complain and complain and complain and complain ......
Week In Deadspin: Live Forever
• Barbaro ... the Chee-to! • Ahhhhhhh! • Iowa wants to control exactly who wants to fire their coaches. • Boy, the NIT sure is exciting. • Don't worry, you're not weird for reading more ESPN than FoxSports. • If you have a low seed, you will take your rat hotel and you will LIKE it. • Tony LaRussa s...
You More Or Less Walk With A Limp
Who should we sleep with, Terry? Women like you? Your age? Our age? We don't. You know why? 'Cause younger women are nice. You take them out, and they're actually grateful. "Oh look, a steak. Yummy." You go for a walk after dinner, the air smells nice, they say, "Thank you. This was nice. This was f...
Look, It's A Survey! Wee!
Sometimes the Gawker folks ask us to give you surveys....
Week In Deadspin: Waiting For Upsets
• We can't look at these NBAer photos enough. • We had many tournament previews. • ESPN has many enemies. Including us! • This kid loves some N.C. State. • Misinterpreting Pete Rose. • Tommy Lasorda, sleeping and dreaming. • Blah blah blah, Syracuse is pissed, blah blah blah. • Aw ... Duke lost. Dam...
Dirty Dee, You're A Baddy Daddy Lamatai Tabby Chai
Follow The NCAA Live Blog!...
Week In Review: Sixteen Candles
• Screw off, Selig. • Good night, George Solomon. • Rough week for Ron Borges. • No guns at Miami? Wha? • We're wearing one of these right now. • Competitive wanking. • Billy Packer minister of information. • Father knows best. • Speaking of which, Tom Brady, hitting open receivers. • Peyton Manning...
Give Us Your Hand. Give Us Your Hand.
Couldn't you like us just us the way we are? When we first started out, it was so good; We had fun. And then you started in on the clothes. Well, we'll wear the darn clothes if you want us to, if, if you'll just like us....
Week In Review: The Smokey Tornado
• Goodbye, Balls. • We guarantee you Dick Vitale's Betamax is flashing 12:00. • It's good to be Brian Urlacher. • Tommy Lasorda claims he doesn't pay for sex, but we know better. • We'll take a camouflage Bible over a neon bible, anytime. • Sorry! • You absolutely cannot kill Rulon Gardner. • Whom s...
We Just Don't Think We Can Continue To Live In A Place That Embraces And Nurtures Apathy As If It Was Virtue
A woman that's so ugly on the inside she couldn't bear to go on living if she couldn't be beautiful on the outside. A drug dealer — a drug dealing pederast, actually! And let's not forget the disease-spreading whore! Only in a world this shitty could you even try to say these were innocent people an...
Week In Review: Gobble...Gobble...Make It Rain
• The week just kept getting worse and worse for Pacman Jones. • Peeing in the backseat of a cop car? Bad idea. • Michael Irvin, ESPN hardly knew ye. • Taking way too long to destroy a mascot. • This is what it has come to: Rocky Balboa is on steroids. • One bad-ass hockey fight. • Tom Brady, procre...