deadspin Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
110. Get A Job, Punk.
We saw your last fight, Shawrelle. Spent so much time face down, we thought the canvas had titties....
Week In Review: An Elephant Attacks A Car
• Goodbye, Mr. Schottenheimer. • We do love ourselves some dog show. • This video is what we thought it was, and so much more. • Fat man dancing! Woo! • Jamar Smith is about to go the way of Chief Illiniwek. • It's always fun to play with Craig's List. • Now your "conversations" are with the Associa...
If Jesus Came Back And Saw What's Going On In His Name, He'd Never Stop Throwing Up
A week ago we bought a rifle ... we went to the store, and we bought a rifle! We were gonna, you know, if they told us we had a tumor, we were gonna kill ourselves. The only thing that might have have stopped us is that our parents would be devastated. So, you know, we would have had to shoot them a...
Week In Review: You Can't HANDLE John Amaechi!
• We welcomed the great Will Blythe to these here parts. • To repeat: We feel bad for this guy's little brother. • A look at Harold Reynolds' contract. • A.J. Daulerio filed his last report from Miami and then took a well-earned vacation. Look out for Stu! • Hello, Santiago! • Ron Zook, kicking your...
Like A Blind Man At An Orgy, We Were Going To Have To Feel Our Way Through
We like our sex the way we play basketball: one on one with as little dribbling as possible....
The Last Of Those Old Spice Polls
You know those Old Spice ads they're running around here, where you can win Final Four tickets? (That's what they tell us, anyway.) Well, here's the last one. Hope you got the first two right, we guess....
Week In Review: Who Says Super Bowl Week Is Boring?
Jesus, people: What a week....
Non Movie Quote Sponsors Post
For the first time in more than a year, we have no movie quotes for you in the sponsors post this week, mainly because it would get too cluttered and confusing. (We were going to choose something obscure, independent and weird, so it's probably for the best.) Instead, there's another sponsor poll we...
Week In Deadspin: By The Time The Super Bowl Gets Here, We'll Have Forgotten Who Is Playing
• Our new friends, Andre Rison and Kordell Stewart. • Major League Baseball hates you. • Ugh, Bruce Pearl. • Hee hee, nose picking. • How will we survive without Bill Parcells' manboobs? • REPORTERS TAKE NOTE: Your guide to the Colts and the Bears. • Welcome to The Negro Bowl. • Peyton Manning is su...
God Loves You Just The Way You Are. But He Loves You Too Much To Let You Stay That Way
We wonder what she looks like. We bet she's skinny. She probably is. She's skinnier than us and prettier too. Now we'll hate her. Oh, we can't wait!...
Special Sponsors Post: Aren't You Lucky!
So remember a couple of weeks ago, when we mentioned that you could win Final Four tickets? Well, today is part two of that whole Old Spice sponsor business. Can you answer another trivia question? We never actually see these trivia questions until they're posted on the site ... so we hope this week...
Week In Deadspin: Any Football Going On Sunday?
• Kwame Brown wants his cake, goddammit! • Rick Chandler and hist history with Tom Brady. • Mark McGwire Speaks! (Kind of.) • Saints fans were rather happy last week. • Our Cardinals meet the Prez. • Tom Brady and Gisele. Keep an eye on that guy; he's an up-and-comer. • David Beckham, still everywhe...
We Make Sure The Wars Are Small Ones
You know, we Italians have our families and the church, the Irish have the homeland, the Jews their tradition, the n——s their music. What do you guys have? We have the United States of America. The rest of you are just visiting....
Your Chance To Be A Commenter (Again)
We've been having some tech issues with commenter approval of late, so if some of you non-commenters have been wondering why your witty, trenchant comments have not made the site, that's why. That issue is fixed, but we wanted to take this opportunity to invite any non-commenters to apply for commen...
Week In Deadspin: Goodnight, Sweet Stephen A.
• WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE CHEESY DOODLES? • Sean Salisbury has something he'd like to show you. Hey, where are you running? • Welcome to LA, Mr. Beckham. • Your national champion Florida Gators. (Kind of.) • Bill Simmons will have to finally acknowledge college basketball • Mark McGwire, stay wherev...
You Taste It? It Tastes Like Strawberries! (Plus: You Can Win Final Four Tickets!)
The world was stunned today by the death of Diego Ricardo, the youngest person on the planet, the youngest person on earth was 18 years, 4 months, 20 days, 16 hours, and 8 minutes old....
Week In Review: Don't Cry For Us, Leather
• We returned from vacation and are still completely bewildered. (And without our luggage.) • See ya, Chin. • Javon Walker was awfully close to Darrent Williams. Literally. • Jim Lampley will knock you around a bit. • You should always believe Nick Saban. • Mr. Daulerio is headed to the Super Bowl...
You Were Butt-Naked On A Zebra Last Month
Richard said, "The next time the motherfucker call, tell him I said, "Suck my dick." I don't give a fuck. Whatever the fuck make the people laugh, say that shit. Do the people laugh when you say what you say?" We said, "Yes." He said, "Do you get paid?" We said, "Yes." He said, "Well, tell Bill I sa...
The Royal We Is Back, And So Are We
If you were wondering what a man looks like after a 12 1/2-hour flight from Buenos Aires, Argentina to Santiago, Chile, to Toronto to New York City — particularly when his luggage is still in Toronto, presumably being delivered by mounties this evening — this is what he looks like: Haggard, but full...
Good Morning, Deadspinners
My name is Justin Everest Skeets III — street name: J.E. Skeets — and rumor has it I'll be your threed thurd third substitute teacher this post-turkey week. (I'm sorry.)...