deadspinxy Page 20 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Tuesday Night Fights: Lady Sees Lady Hitting On Her Fella At Rap-Video Shoot, Takes Corrective Action
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Girl Goes Into Party to Fight," aka "best FIGHT on youtube." Tonight's commentator: Brawlotographer Zack Yutzey, whose filmography can be viewed via YouTube....
Who Is The Most Masturbated-To Woman In History?
I just recently got a Christmas card from Drew and his family and I have to say: Is there any bigger fucking waste of time, energy, and paper than a Christmas card? I understand why people used to do it before Facebook existed, but currently, if someone has a baby, not a day goes by that a photo of ...
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
As in past years, the Sun Sentinel has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity. ...
Cockblocked By John Denver!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase two heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Jerry Seinfeld Is The Worst
I've reached my tipping point with Jerry Seinfeld. It happened today, with this endless New York Times writeup that no one asked for, which includes the following caption: ...
Tuesday Night Fights: Our Beijing Correspondent Shares Some Epic Backyard Wrestling From Rural China
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Backyard pro wrestling in rural China - absolutely awesome." Tonight's commentator: TNF's Beijing Correspondent Anthony Tao....
Would You Move Into A Murder House?
I'm out on vacation next week. Your guest Funbagger, once again, is Justin Halpern. Email him your questions here. He'll answer them in between eating Chinese food and going to the movies. Now onto your letters:...
You Will Watch This Truck Full Of Cows Crash And You Will Be Mesmerized
We're just going to assume this takes place in Russia, because everything crazy happens in Russia. Anyway, you're going to go into this video expecting to see lots of carnage and cow guts and death, but you are not going to see that. Instead, you are going to see a gigantic truck full of live cows r...
This Is The Letter You Get From The Neighbors After You Get Drunk, Pee On Their Couch, And Run Around Their House While Wearing Your Shirt As A Cape
"Frank" had a hell of a weekend. We're told he remembers none of it, but his next-door neighbors sure can. Frank somehow ended up in their apartment on Saturday, his shirt tied around his neck like a cape. It was mostly downhill from there....
Tonight's <em>Saturday Night Live</em> Cold Open: The New York Children's Chorus Singing "Silent Night"
Given yesterday's devastating events in Connecticut, it seemed impossible for NBC to put together a Saturday Night Live cold open that could be seen in any way as appropriate for the mood. In the end, they eschewed any attempt at making the audience laugh—instead going with a touching performance f...
Cockblocked By Grandpappy!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Tuesday Night Fights: This Russian Pop Star Fight Totally Bummed Rodney Anonymous Out, Too
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Street fight for pop star (Russia)." Tonight's commentator: occasional Deadspin contributor Rodney Anonymous of the Dead Milkmen....
Six Great Things That Turn Horrible When You Grow Old
Your letters:...
Chicago Man Stabs Bar Patron In The Neck, Throws His Own Shit All Over A Police Station
Having to go the bathroom at a bar is the worst. It always smells like piss and shit, everything is either soaking wet or sticky, drunk dudes always want to strike up a conversation, and sometimes crazy people jump out from the bathroom stall and stab you in the neck with a broken beer bottle. From...
The Shitty Parent's Guide To Children's Christmas Presents
Christmas is coming, which gives you a golden opportunity to squander money and add to the mounting clutter inside your home. There are millions of options when it comes to buying presents for your children and then pretending that Santa gave them those presents and then resenting the fact that the ...
Cockblocked By Creationism!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Watch Some Dogs Drive Some Cars
In New Zealand, dogs are learning how to drive cars. That's really all there is to say about this video. Oh, and the dogs aren't driving automatic cars. They're being taught how to drive stick. I don't know how to drive stick....
Tuesday Night Fights: A Supervillain Is Born, Then She Pisses Herself
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: 'Philly Girl Fight." Tonight's commentator: Gawker's Caity Weaver, who just happens to be my favorite writer of all....
San Diegans Who Tuned In To Their CBS Affiliate For The Morning News Instead Found Some Dude's Balls [Probably NSFW]
San Diego CBS affiliate KFMB's morning news features a regular segment with shitty "morning zoo" jocks from the local megacorp-owned mass communication dinosaur that is an FM radio station. Usually these segments are unfunny, marginally offensive, and interesting only to those who have suffered br...
What Will Football Look Like 50 Years From Now?
I'm sick this week, and when you have children being sick is the BEST. You don't have to do jack shit. You can go nap. You can mainline chicken broth directly into your wrist. You can opt out of bath duty and dish duty and garbage duty. The other parent has to do all the work. It's awesome. It's lik...