derek Page 29 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Derek Jeter Scoffs At Your Puny MVP Award
The Yankee Coxswain is your Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year, because of his "dignity and elegance." Also? He's an excellent tipper and rarely kills hobos to wear their flesh. [SI]...

The Derek-Jeter-Hits-The-Beach-With-A-Starlet Photos Will Make You Miserable
Our Captain is off on his annual off-season jaunt to a humid location with a young, bikini-clad actress-person whom he will most likely never settle down with and, unfortunately for him, there was a slimy photog in the palm tree....

Derek Jeter Has Really Let Himself Go Since...Last Wednesday
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

World Series Omens Yankee Fans Don't Want To See
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Pitches, Man, Pitches
Looking toward a deep playoff run, the Yankees are trying to get their ducks in a row. That means telling the wives and girlfriends to stop being mean to Kate Hudson....

Breaking: Member Of New York Sports Media Writes Insightful Derek Jeter Story
Ian O'Connor provides a tangible reason for Captain Intangibles' rediscovered greatness: a fitness trainer who loosened up Jeter's stiff left hip, which previously had turned him into statuary any time a ball was hit toward second. So clutch! [Bergen Record]...

Expository Writing
Hi everyone! Did you guys say you wanted us to write another thing about Derek Jeter? Okay! Your funeral!!!...

"What-If" The "What-If"
Steroids steroids steroids, you crazy son of a bitch. What have you gone and done now? You've made Gene Wojciechowski write this little bit of insanity....

Jesus Is The Derek Jeter Of Christianity
He's good at what he does (for Jeter, it's baseball; for Jesus, it's healing the sick or whatever). People love him. He says and does the right things at all the right times....

The Tale Of Melanie Oudin And The Homewrecker
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

OK, Enough With The Contrarian MVP Crap
Joe Mauer is your AL MVP. Not Mark Teixeira. Not Kendry Morales. Not Derek Jeter. He is MVP by just about every standard imaginable except for the one applied by bored sportswriters who need copy during an inert pennant race....

Derek Jeter Lovers Still Consistently Loving Derek Jeter's Consistency
Relax everyone. Despite all statistical evidence to the contrary, Derek Jeter is still the best Yankee. Because Paul O'Neill told Mike Lupica he is. How do they keep it doing day after day for all these years? [Daily News]...

Jim Rice Doesn't Like Lazy Longhairs Who Ruined Baseball
Big league Hall of Famer Jim Rice opened the World Series for Little Leaguers with a fiery speech that even the grumpiest of grumpy old men could appreciate. The message: Don't look up to today's players because they're all bums....

Brady Quinn-Derek Anderson Feud Gets Catty
Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn are both listed as No. 1 on the Browns depth chart, although I don't believe the NFL's plan to add a second football to gameplay will take effect this year. So let the sabotage begin!...

<i>Baseball Wives</i> Teaches Your Wife About "Road Beef"
The E! True Hollywood Story is documentary TV for people who don't really want to know about what actually goes on in the world. So why is it educating our nation's moms about the concept of "road beef"?...

Yankees Won't Be Joining Umpire For Post-Game Pizza Party
For as much glory as there is to be had in Little League — and not just by the 13-year-old with the mustache — there are more disheartening components. Like the umpires. Those guys were the pits....

It Was Future Mrs. Jeter Night At The New Yankee Stadium
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Jeter Listens To Critics, Dies In A Fire
Jeter, a five-year-old Great Pyrenees dog, saved his owners' life by alerting them to a fire (so clutch!), but then needlessly ran back into the burning home and perished. Well, his range always was an issue. [Dayton Daily News]...

NYC Athletes Address The Evils Of The Internet
Gary Sheffield has a solution, though: "It shouldn't be against the law to take the picture, but to post it and say something negative I think should be against the law. It's like an invasion of privacy." [NYP]...