detroitlions Page 24 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NFL Roundup: Daunte's Blues
• If you somehow were able to make an emotionless, painless robot clone of Bea Arthur, and you pounded that clone in the face with a polo mallet for 25 minutes, then slammed that head in a car door 15 times, then severed the head with an exceptionally long and sharp toenail, then put the head in a...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while calling for the assasination of Hugo Chavez ... • A's complete four-game sweep of Orioles. Strangely, Rafael Palmeiro seems weak and powerless lately for some reason. • Lions make it official, Have the word "hapless" painted on their helmets. • Agassi needs only 69 minutes to a...

To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch Instead Of Endless Hurricane News ... • Monday Night (Exhibition) Football: Rams at Lions. Remember when they wore the yellow sportscoats with the circle on the pockets? We're wearing one now. • MLB: Dodgers at Cubs. Look ... all the Chicago players are vomiting milk. • U.S. Open, Day ...

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch after those four foolish words: "I'm going all in." ... · Where players are still using the juice — usually grape: Little League Southwest Regional final. · Lions at Jets: Mike Heimerdinger unveils new offense, Chad Pennington ruins it. · Light welterweight slap and tickle: Donald Cama...