dh Page 60 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How Can One Game Contain So Much Fail?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

James Harrison's Mom Won't Have Any Of That Stuff
Silverback's momma got into some sort of tussle at a football-viewing party on Thursday night in Akron, Ohio. She and two others were charged with assault for all sorts of punching, kicking, and bottle-throwing as the Steelers' season unraveled. [PFT]...

This Explains Those Missed Bunt Signs
More players than ever before have come before MLB with a signed doctor's note, swearing they have ADHD, and by the way, they have to take otherwise-banned stimulants. We're skeptical....

Lacrosse Players Accused Of Terrible Things, Media Braces For Impact
Three Sacred Heart University lacrosse players have been charged with "conspiracy to commit sexual assault" on a female student in their dorm. Less surprising is that coverage of this story is already turning into a potential quagmire of hyperbolic accusations....

The Derek-Jeter-Hits-The-Beach-With-A-Starlet Photos Will Make You Miserable
Our Captain is off on his annual off-season jaunt to a humid location with a young, bikini-clad actress-person whom he will most likely never settle down with and, unfortunately for him, there was a slimy photog in the palm tree....

Miami Coach Not Impressed By Lexington Reporter's Question
A reporter asked Miami of Ohio coach Charlie Coles (a 17.5-point underdog last night) how he let the Kentucky game "get away from him." He was not amused....

The Best Taunt You'll See All Week
The Hartford goalie warms up for the shootout by doing cartwheels (20-second mark); Stony Brook's shooter doesn't appreciate that. Let's see what happens next....

Larry Johnson Meltdown Arrives Later Than Expected This Season (Update)
The Kansas City Chiefs are a disaster, obviously, but look on the bright side—it took permanently disgruntled RB Larry Johnson seven whole games to launch an embarrassing tirade against his head coach. I think that's improvement!...

Good Ol' Poise
What have we here? Two young, relatively unformed quarterbacks who play efficiently enough in winning efforts to be anointed with hollow praise? And they're going head-to-head? America had a poisegasm yesterday — and perhaps found a new talisman of poise....

Pedro Guerrero Beats The Spread
We're bringing back our popular "Dark Side of the Locker Room" series, which you'll remember was a compendium of journalists' bizarre, amusing and previously undocumented encounters with athletes (and often athletes' genitalia). Got a story? Send it to [email protected]....

Let's Roll Some Sports Talk About Sports!
Oh hello. I am Choire Sicha, your 9/11 guest blogger, coming to you from lower Manhattan. Make of that what you will....

Scoring At Home: Your <em>SportsCenter</em> Catchphrase-O-Meter
An occasional feature in which we explain and evaluate a SportsCenter anchor's pet phrase. Today's phrase: "Mahatma ... Gandhi."...

Rockies Fans Will Never Forget What's-His-Name
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

MANAGER FIGHT!!!
As is customary when a player throws a fastball three feet behind a batter's back, umpires deliver a warning to both managers. Then they tap gloves and come out swinging! At least that's the way it should be....

Gaming Wars Rage On, With Dueling NCAA Theft Convictions
Some athletes like the multiplayer options and upgrades that come with PC gaming. Others prefer the simplicity and cost of console gaming. But they can all agree: stealing gaming platforms from fellow students is the way to go....

Southeast Missouri State Feels The NCAA's Sting
The NCAA has thrown the book at Southeast Missouri State basketball, vacating all their men's basketball wins from 2006-2008 because an assistant gave impermissible benefits to a player—by giving him a lift home to see his newborn baby....

The Bidding Wars For The Erin Andrews Interview Have Begun (UPDATE)
Oprah. Larry King. Diane Sawyer. Katie Couric. According to one snitch/source, these are some of the heavy-hitters jockeying for the exclusive EA post-peephole heart-to-heart sit-down....

The Real Reason Michael Phelps Won't Meet With the Pope
It's not because he got high (as we all know, the Pope smokes dope). The reason famous fish-person Michael Phelps won't meet with the Nazi Pope is buried deep in his family history, as revealed on his Wikipedia page....

And On Next Week's Episode, Buddhist Monks Become Shaqtastic
Oh, hi there, star of ABC's forthcoming reality show, "Shaq Vs." It will pit Shaq vs. Phelps in swimming, Shaq vs. Roethlisberger in football, maybe Shaq vs. Lance in cycling, and hopefully, Shaq vs. Ashton in Twittering. [USA Today]...

Hirshey: The Gulf Is Closing, But Not THAT Quickly
David Hirshey is the former soccer expert around these parts and one of the world-famous Soccer Jews. He talked to me, Emeritus, about yesterday's U.S. soccer loss to Brazil....