dl Page 87 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Eras To Live In, Ranked
The past was awful. It was a time of choleric ignoramuses flopping around in their own shit and killing each other for entertainment. I feel bad for everyone who lived before today....
The Dystopian Love Triangle <i>Z For Zachariah </i>Proves That Hell Is Other People
One of the best things about Z for Zachariah, the new drama starring Margot Robbie, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and Chris Pine, is that even after seeing the movie twice, I still have no idea how I feel about any of its three protagonists. That’s by design. Based on Robert C. O’Brien’s 1974 sci-fi novel, the ...
Dudley Boyz Return To WWE, And You Better Believe There Were Tables Involved
New Day seized the WWE Tag Team championship during last night’s SummerSlam pay-per-view, but their victory lap on tonight’s Raw was cut short by a duo that hasn’t been seen on pro wrestling’s biggest promotion in ten years: Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley. The Dudley Boyz—who, in WWE’s Attitude Era popu...
<i>American Ultra </i>Is A Sweet, Ultraviolent Stoner Love Story
1. There’s an undeniable kick in watching a reedy nerd unleash cinematic violence, particularly when he’s confused by it, separate from the act, almost observing it. I’ve always thought this was the initial, primal appeal of The Matrix, how Keanu Reeves was a weirdly dispassionate participant in his...
Plain White T-Shirts, Ranked
In case you momentarily forgot which website you were reading, let me say right here up at the top that I am not a textile expert. I’m actually not even particularly fashionable. To me, obsessing about fashion is silly. There are better things to obsess about, such as the optimal marinade for skirt ...
19 Fake Craft Beers Inspired By <i>The Simpsons</i>, Ranked
The craft beer industry is facing two significant problems. First off, they’re running out of names for their artisanal ales. Secondly, it’s an industry with a troubling dearth of gratuitous Simpsons references (full credit to Evil Genius for theirs). Combine these two predicaments, and you have one...
This Woman Does Not Like Us Making Fun Of The Texans
Many people are fans of Why Your Team Sucks. But some people are NOT fans of Why Your Team Sucks. This is an email we received in response to yesterday’s Texans preview....
Max Kellerman Sucks At Basketball
Max Kellerman’s rep as a boxing maven is solid, but his athletic abilities are open for questioning after his involvement in a SportsNation stunt today that left him breathing co-host Michelle Beadle’s fumes....
<i>Straight Outta Compton</i> Celebrates The Day The Bad Guys Won
Director F. Gary Gray’s group-endorsed new N.W.A biopic Straight Outta Compton brings us back to a time when hip-hop didn’t yet dominate popular culture. Now that rap has long been at the forefront of pop music, it’s easy to forget that in the 1980s, the form wasn’t just new but also novel, an outsi...
You'll Forget About <i>The Man From U.N.C.L.E. </i>While You're Still Watching It
1. You need a pretty good reason to resuscitate The Man From U.N.C.L.E.—a ’60s television series that went off the air before Jay Z was born—and I’m afraid Guy Ritchie’s movie version doesn’t have one. Perfectly passable, generic, and inoffensive, it vanishes from your brain almost while you’re watc...
Please Let This Be The Last Fantastic Four<i> </i>Movie
1. You know, until everybody turns into a superhero, the new Fantastic Four reboot isn’t half bad. You can see what they were trying to do. We watch four ambitious, incredibly smart young kids come together to work on a science project that has the potential to change the world; they’re played by so...
Fernando Rodney Hides In Shrubbery, Might Actually Be An Elf
It hit 93 degrees in Denver today, and with the sun beating down through the thin Rockies air, Mariners closer Fernando Rodney decided to take a short siesta in the Swill Beer Field shrubbery:...
Meryl Streep Rocks Out: <i>Ricki And The Flash</i> Could've Been Worse
Ricki and the Flash could’ve easily been yet another broad, obvious dysfunctional-family comedy. It’s right there in the setup: A middle-aged woman who years ago abandoned her buttoned-down Midwestern husband and kids to be a rock ’n’ roll star must now make amends, setting up a feel-good redemption...
The David Foster Wallace Movie Gets Our Vision Of Him Right, At Least
The End of the Tour, a drama about a five-day interview/road trip that took place between novelist David Foster Wallace and Rolling Stone reporter David Lipsky in 1996, has already received significant pushback from those closest to the late author, who committed suicide in 2008. Wallace’s estate an...
The New <i>Mission: Impossible </i>Is Almost Better Than The New <i>Mad Max</i>
1. I think if the Mission: Impossible franchise starred anyone other than Tom Cruise, we’d regard all these movies as classics. All five have been excellent in their own ways, but unlike any other franchise I can think of, each sequel is better than its predecessor. Each has a different director, an...
Blue Jays Trade For David Price, Are Coming For The AL East
Just two days after trading for all-world shortstop Troy Tulowitzki, the Toronto Blue Jays have gone and pulled off another blockbuster. According to multiple reports, the Jays have landed Tigers ace David Price in exchange for a package built around top pitching prospect Daniel Norris. ...
Here Are 20 Sentences From Roger Goodell's Tom Brady Decision
The NFL has issued a stirring 20-page decision on the issue of New England quarterback Tom Brady’s four-game suspension. In it, Roger Goodell makes the case for upholding his own decision by citing evidence gathered by the NFL’s investigatory arm and a nominally independent law firm. It reads about ...
The Lifeless <i>Vacation </i>Reboot Is All Bowels And No Heart
1. The original 1983 National Lampoon’s Vacation is a classic because deep down, it’s essentially a sweet movie. The screenplay was written by John Hughes—based off the short story “Vacation ’58,” which he wrote about a family trip to Disneyworld, and which ultimately got him on the staff of Nationa...
Robert Allenby Fired His Caddie Midway Through His Round
Robert Allenby got into a heated argument over club selection with his caddie Mick Middlemo just four holes into his first round at the RBC Canadian Open yesterday, culminating in screaming, cursing, and Middlemo being fired right there on the course, leading Allenby to pull a fan out of the gallery...