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Nick Young Is Done With 2016, You Guys
Here’s a tweet that Lakers guard Nick Young, who has had some problems recently, just sent and then deleted almost immediately:...

Is It Legal To Drink While Going Through A Car Wash?
Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, wherein I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below....

Is The Hall Of Fame Screwing Over Curt Schilling For His Hot Facebook Memes?
Curt Schilling is many things—a bloviator, a dummy, a bad Facebook person, a hilariously incompetent businessman—but I think the one thing we can all agree on is that, whatever his faults, the man could pitch his ass off and deserves to be in the Baseball Hall of Fame. Ah, but at present he is NOT. ...

This Guy Walked Around The World With $6,000 And A Violin, And Only Had His Nuts Grabbed Once
As I understand it, a Bulgarian farm worker grabbed Andrew Siess’s nuts with his left hand while holding a gun in his right hand. He wasn’t pointing the gun at Siess, mind you, just holding it. Siess pushed him away, but the Bulgarian guy—speaking the international language of aggression—again grabb...

Bougie Food Review: Maple Water
Water has gotten too complicated. It’s just two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom, clear and basically tasteless. It is nourishing and life-giving. It is perfect....

How To Play The Toughest Position In Sports
The following is excerpted from Take Your Eye Off the Puck: How to Watch Hockey By Knowing Where to Look, by Greg Wyshynski, out now from Triumph Books....

Don't Do That: A Harrowing "Ask A Lawyer" Lightning Round
Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, wherein I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below. Today, we’re tackling the weirdest emails we’ve gotten so far, all at once. Let’s hit it. ...

We Tried The New Lay's Flavors So You Don't Have To (Please Don't)
In its infinite potato-chip-making and marketing wisdom, the Frito-Lay snack behemoth has sifted through entries in their latest Lay’s “Do Us A Flavor” contest (this year’s theme: “Taste of America”), narrowed it down to four finalists, and encouraged We The People to vote for our fave. Plus, there’...

Knock It Off With These Stupid-Ass Headphones
These idiotic around-the-neck headphones have been everywhere lately, and I have no idea what and why they are. What in the hell, man? ...

Azerbaijani Journalist Killed After Criticizing Star Player On Facebook
In the heat of the moment, I bet family members of athletes who are unfairly shit on by the local hot-take purveyors in the media have fantasized about exacting revenge. In Azerbaijan, one player’s family members took this impulse a little too far and actually killed a guy for insulting their relati...

How To Get A Cheap Motorcycle And Not Crash It
The problem is, most things are Good in inverse proportion to the degree to which they’re Fun. Broccoli is Good; Bacon is Fun. Taxes are Good; Casinos are Fun. Gyms are Good; Bars are Fun. You get the picture. But assuming, as I do, that all of us must live at least a little, few things are less Goo...

How To Be A Good Person On An Airplane
Things are getting bleak in the skies. See this article in the New York Times about swapping seats on a flight:...

The Fan Theory That Makes <i>Game Of Thrones </i>Make Sense
Game of Thrones is a confounding show to watch. It’s confounding because it is based on an interminable series of novels in which people are regularly burned alive or skinned or drowned in service to one god or the next, often for reasons like “calling in a warm front to melt some snow,” but also be...

Threesomes Are Fun (If You Do Them Right)
In the pantheon of sexual fantasies blissful to imagine but volatile to undertake, threesomes are near the top of the list. It might seem like a ménage à trois should be an easy sell: more hands! More mouths! More genitals! More fun! Yet such logic evades the emotional brains driving our hot-sex-mac...

Chandler Parsons Has Bad Style; Richard Jefferson Is Bad At Bargaining
How much would you pay for this Van’s Idylwild Cheetah Snapback? $5? $0? How about if you were buying it off of some guy’s gross, sweaty, lice-filled head? Maybe somebody would have to pay you to take it? If so, you have better taste than Richard Jefferson and Chandler Parsons. ...

Peter Vecsey Calls Woman An "Ignorant Slut" On Twitter
Earlier this week, Charles Barkley went on the radio and called longtime NBA writer and analyst Peter Vecsey a scumbag. Pete took to Twitter today to fire back at Barkley, and then he lost his mind and called a woman a slut....

Hockey Mom Finds Herself In Twitter Beef With Hockey Teens
Twitter is bad. It's bad for a lot of reasons, one of those being that it is a place where a hockey mom can trade barbs with high school hockey players and eventually get called a cunt by a teenager....

Help! My Apartment Reeks Of Drunken-Cooking-Incident Smoke!
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....

Why Running Alone Through Snow For 135 Miles Is Harder Than It Sounds
Here's an excerpt from Alicia Hudelson's account of last year's Arrowhead 135, an unsupported endurance challenge through northern Minnesota starting today. It gives a pretty good flavor....