dp Page 115 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Real Reason Michael Phelps Won't Meet With the Pope
It's not because he got high (as we all know, the Pope smokes dope). The reason famous fish-person Michael Phelps won't meet with the Nazi Pope is buried deep in his family history, as revealed on his Wikipedia page....
The One Good Thing About Tom Watson Losing The British Open
If there's one silver lining to Tom Watson's agonizing 2nd place finish at the British Open yesterday, it's that we are now spared from old people suddenly thinking they are somehow useful again....
Crumpet? I Hardly Know It!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Jeff Garlin: “This Is The Longest Rape Has Ever Been A Topic For Anything I’ve Ever Discussed”
This week's Deadcast guest is "Curb Your Enthusiasm" co-star and producer Jeff Garlin (Listen here, iTunes here, buy Jeff's standup DVD here). We talk rape! Far more than Jeff prefers!...
Fox's Marketing Ploy May Have Been More Evil Than Previously Thought
It's bad enough that stupid Yuppie Gollum was nothing but a promotional stunt, but this is so much worse: A reader reports that Yuppie Gollum wasn't even at the All-Star Game. I'll let that sink in....
Yes, This Creepy Person Was a Marketing Ploy By Fox
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Good Samaritan Gives Tom Brady His Much Needed $4,000
After hearing about the plight of an ex-con, panhandling to re-pay $4,000 to the Patriots' quarterback, a kind businessman has volunteered to pay the debt on his behalf—keeping Tom Brady blissfully unaware that anything has gone wrong....
Tom Brady Has No Pity For Panhandling Fools
Not all panhandlers are drunks and bums. Some are just convicted bank robbers who happen to owe Tom Brady — yes, that one — a good chunk of change for tucking and running away with two flower planters....
Now It's Aaron Sorkin's Turn To Fail At Writing A <em>Moneyball</em> Script
Columbia has enlisted Sorkin, the sanctimonious West Wing creator last seen making Ed Asner say "Macau" over and over, to write a draft of the star-crossed Moneyball script. Such waste. Such inefficiency. Somebody could write a bestselling book about this....
How Leagues Learned To Stop Loving And Worry About Steroids
The peril of steroids, like the Internet, wasn't apparent 40 years ago when Sports Illustrated published a prescient story about PEDs. In retrospect now, with steroids as dangerous as the Internet is real, professional sports appear more oblivious than ever....
Yankees Will Deign To Respect Our Civil Liberties
Bradford Campeau-Laurion — the guy who was drummed out of Yankee Stadium for trying to tinkle during the Yankees' seventh-inning tribute to compelled patriotism, the playing of "God Bless America" — has settled his lawsuit against the team and city....
Soderbergh's <i>Moneyball</i> Script Too Real To Get Made
The Sony Pictures executive who pulled the plug on Moneyball says that Steven Soderbergh changed the original script because he didn't want anything in the movie that didn't actually happen. So Billy Beane isn't a sweaty, foul-mouthed, Hooters waitress slayer?...
Billy Beane Is A Golden God: Excerpts From The Scrapped Moneyball Script
It looks like Moneyball might not be coming to the big screen anytime soon because director Steven Soderbergh tinkered with the script and everyone realized that a movie version of the book made about as much sense as Joe Morgan....
<em>Moneyball</em>'s Deep-Sixed
Break out the baseball puns! Columbia has dropped Steven Soderbergh's Moneyball adaptation like an overvalued, arbitration-eligible pitcher after a career year. Why, it's as if producers made a running, 20-foot backhand flip to cut down the movie at the plate....
@DanJenkinsGD Can Haz Cheeseburger
On a semi-related note, Emeritus on Jenkins: "It's kind of unbelievable Twitter existed without him. Proves my theory: Had he started a blog before Deadspin, I'd be flipping burgers." Amen. Easily the star of this year's washed-out Open. [Washington Post]...
Epic Rant Exposes Dark Side Of Houston Cougar Baseball
There are few things people enjoy more than listening to an angry parent complain about their kid's lack of playing time, but when it's a single-page, 16,000-word website with lots of CAPS LOCK, that's a different story....
Tom Brady Even Heals Better Than A Normal Person
Brady's surgeon on the quarterback's rehab: "With regard to his recovery of strength, I've never seen anything quite like it. With an average person, it would have taken probably twice as long to get range of motion and strength back." Sweet jeebus, who is this guy? Wolverine? [LA Times]...
Jim Leyritz Fans, Cancel That Flight To Newark
"Jim Leyritz won't be honored Sunday afternoon by the Newark Bears, after all. The former Yankee, who had been scheduled to appear as part of a Legends Sunday promotion by the team, will be replaced by Roy White." The power of the press! [The Star-Ledger]...
Another Belichick Son Will Experience The Joys Of Alcohol Education Classes
The home life at the Belichick household may become a little turbulent now that 17-year-old Brian Belichick was busted for underage drinking at Gillette Stadium during the NCAA Lacrosse Championships....
Suspiciously Optimistic Guy In Warriors Forum Turns Out To Be Warriors Flack
So that anonymous optimist who's been dropping sunshine all over the Warriorsworld forums? Goes by "Flunkster Dude"? Posts things like, "Nice job Mully!"? Why, he's none other than Warriors PR director, Raymond Ridder....