dp Page 116 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jeter On The Lam After Bank Robbery, Support Of PatriotsBlue Jays
Chad Floyd Jeter is wanted by police after allegedly robbing a bank in Alabama, while wearing a New England PatriotsBlue Jays cap misidentified by Alabama police as a Patriots hat. (Who did you think I was talking about?) He is considered armed and dangerously clutch. [Wicked Good Sports]...

There Is No "Tag Team" High School Wrestling
A jury is currently deliberating the case of a New Jersey dad who attacked his son's wrestling opponent during a match. He didn't even wait for his entrance music. [Zapruder-like footage @ Star-ledger]...

Matt Vasgersian: “I Am An Enormous Jagoff”
Our Deadcast guest this week is Matt Vasgersian, anchor for MLB TV, FOX play-by-play announcer, and fan of the site. And, untethered by network restrictions, Matt had some pretty cool shit to say....

Royals Broadcaster Somehow Duped On-Air By Food Network Impersonator
Guy Fieri, the Food Network personality always in search of America's best chili dog waffle burgers was in the stands at the Royals game last night. Wait — no he wasn't. [Kansas City.com]...

The Kentucky Derby Is Decadent And Depraved
Everyone knows the real fun of the Kentucky Derby happens in the stands and infield, not on the track. See the shenanigans you missed out on after the jump....

Hey Lama, How About A Little Something, You Know, For The Effort?
I don't know jack about Buddhism or karma or any of that noise, but I do know that the Dalai Lama wearing a Patriots hat can't be good for the natural order of things....

Tom Brady Must Be Thrilled
Hey, it's his new bride being groped by nude, muscular black men! [Arab Aquarius]...

Barry Zito's Obscene Gingerbread Twitter Photos Are Somewhat Disturbing
Ladies and gentlemen, the handiwork of tonight's Giants starting pitcher against the Dodgers. PETA would like to get involved, but their jurisdiction doesn't include desserts. [Twitter]...

Polo Massacre Makes Horses With Broken Legs Seem Quaint
A friendly polo match in Florida turned in an equine Jonestown on Sunday, when 21 horses suddenly dropped dead due to a mysterious "toxin" just as play was about to begin. Yikes....

Breaking: Some Sports Franchises More Equal Than Others
"Don't get me wrong I love America," a reader writes. Whatever Wen Ho, think I don't get my fill of pinkos whining about Fox over at Torture Points Memo?...

Usain Bolt Talks About Rollin' With His Homies
"In Jamaica, you learn as a child how to roll a joint. Everyone here has tried it. I did too — but I was real young then." [SI/AP]...

Boob-Looking Announcer Gains Redemption
Former Iowa broadcaster Ed Podolak—whose only crime was loving life—will be back in the booth for Iowa football games next fall. That is just and wise. [The Gazette]...

Who Is This Dashing Soccer Player, And Why Is He Using His Hands?
Hint: He now makes millions playing a different sport, and once dated Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel. Yes, it's Derek Jeter, whose mom once again forgot to bring the post-game orange slices....

Brady's New Wife Reveals Many Things About Their Relationship (And Her Body) In Vanity Fair Interview
Gisele Bundchen gives Vanity Fair a candid glimpse into her new domesticated life as Mrs. Tom Brady. Nude, of course....

Sports And Porn, Together Again, As It Should Be
It's time for 20 pictures in which sports and porn collide. Now never send any of these to us ever again. Thanks. [Betfair]...

A's, White Sox Honor Slain Oakland Policemen On Sunday
Ozzie Guillen: "It's a hard day for the Bay Area. If it's police or fireman or military and you take their life away because they're protecting our country, it's a sad thing." [San Francisco Chronicle]...

The NCAA Will Snatch The Baby Jesus Right Out Of Your Hands
Viewers of the Ohio State-Siena game may have noticed a proselytizing attention whore with a John 3:16 sign. But did you see an NCAA security guard snatch it? One eagle-eyed viewer did; roll the tape....

What Madonna Song Had A-Rod Freaking Out To The Details Magazine Writer?
It wasn't long after Alex Rodriguez had completed his interview with Details magazine writer Jason Gay that he began having second thoughts about something he said. Was it about steroids? That goofy photo shoot? Um, no....